ptsd 100% P&t For Ptsd And Voc Rehab

[Marinesniper]

Hello Everyone,

First of all I would like to thank EVERYONE who has taken the time to respond to my numerous questions in the past. I have had nothing but very informative and caring responses from the users on this board, and your comments have always helped me work through whatever issue it is I was dealing with at the time. Having said that I have a new question that I would like to present to the Hadit community. I am currently rated as 100% P&T for Major Depressive Disorder w/Anxiety Attacks AND PTSD, as well as SMC for other disabilities totaling approximately 60% (Sleep Apnea @ 50%, Tinnitus @ 10%, other disabilities at approx 10%). I was initially granted an award of 10% back in 1999 when I initially separated from the USMC, and I was attending Nursing School through the Vocational Rehabilitation program from around 2002-2004 when I had to drop out due to medical reasons. Shortly thereafter (approx 2005) my rating was increased to 100% P&T for PTSD and SMC was added for the additional 50%+. I did not return to my Nursing School due to the fact that I could not continue my clinical rotations while on narcotic pain meds that I am still taking today due to degenerative disc disease in my spine. I would like to add that the increase in my disability in 2005 was back dated to 1999, as it was found that these conditions existed during my time in service. I spoke with my VA Therapist about a year ago who stated that although I would never be able to work full-time ever again due to the severity of my PTSD, they did believe that I would at some point be able to pursue part-time employment at some point in the future. After much prayer and personal introspection I have realized that I believe I could pursue a career as a Patisserie/Bakery Chef decorating cakes out of my home on a part-time basis. Working out of my own home would allow me to pursue some type of gainful employment while working in an environment that would allow me to avoid the stressors and situations that aggravate/cause my PTSD and anxiety attacks. While it would be impossible to explain the nature of my disabilities, and how they keep me from being able to pursue gainful employment suffice it to say that I am unable to manage interpersonal and professional relationships with people in a working environment, and being around crowds causes severe panic attacks/feelings of being suffocated and my life being in danger. The ONLY way I can work would be in a situation where there are NOT a lot of people and I am NOT under direct supervision from an individual, AND I have a place that I can retreat to when things begin to get crazy. This is why working from home is such an ideal situation. Believe it or not, my Vocational Rehabilitation counselor was actually open to the idea of pursuing my education for the purpose of opening my own home based cake decorating business given the uniqueness of my disabilities, providing I could get signed off by my VA doctors stating that they feel I could handle the stressors of such a situation. OK...HERE IS MY QUESTION..Am I putting my 100% P&T at risk by applying for Voc Rehab? Can they take away my rating just for applying for Voc Rehab? Can I work part-time from my house and still maintain my 100% P&T rating? What are your recommendations regarding this whole situation? Once again, I thank you for your time and I realize that there are endless possibilities and answers to this question. Please answer the question to the best of your ability, and feel free to email me or ask me here should you require any further information.

Sincerely Yours,

Jeff Crockett

[Pete53]

Jeff:

I know where you are coming from I raised four sons. You asked for comments and some you did not like. They are just opinions of some of the Members please do not take it personal.

I can give you some insight on the Dallas Voc Rehab. They are not Vet Friendly and the manager worries about selecting candidates who will not go to work when everything is done but there are other things that go along with applying for Voc Rehab abd if you apply and are turned down they are supposed to consider ILP or independent living.

For many they get new computers or improvements on their home that makes it more likely they will stay at home,

I personally think that you should give it a try.

If you have any questions feel free to PM me. The pricess is a pain in the ass you have to attend a meeting, watch a film and take about 4 hours of tests. Than another meeting where someone hired by the VA goes over what can be done and writes a report. Another meeting and than if you get ILP they send someone out to your house and you talk about things that may be needed like new a;c, remodeling for better access and possible computers.

If they say that you can be trained it can include a variety of things including college or technical training and if they let you in that program they pay for everything and give you an extra 900 plus a month.

Don't get upset with answers here as all are trying to help you not hurt.

Pete

[carlie]

Thank you for your suggestions. However, I take offense to your comment about re-evaluating my financial priorities. You have NO idea what my current or past financial situation is or was. I am the SOLE provider for my family, minus a meager income that my wife brings in from her PART-TIME job. While you may seem to think that $4000/mo. is a COMFORTABLE level of living, I wonder if you currently have FOUR children that you are caring for in today's economy. The MEDIAN family income in my county is currently around $57,000 a year, which is about a THOUSAND dollars more than I make a month, so I wouldn't say that I am WELL OFF by any means. I don't know what your assumptions are, but I can tell you that I am NOT sipping champagne, eating caviar or smoking Cuban cigars while complaining about how I don't have enough money to raise my kids. ALSO..your explanation about about total impairment..that's ME to a tee...As I stated before, I am very LIMITED in what I can do, I am just trying to do what I CAN. It was my psychiatrist who told me that I could try to seek part-time work at some point, not the voices in my head. However, I have taken what you all have said in to consideration and I am going to withdraw my request for voc rehab assistance and sit every night now praying that I haven't called down the VA GODS onto my head to take away everything I have worked so hard to get up to this point. That should do my paranoia and hyper vigilance some good.. Guess it's off to the VA for some anxiety meds next week...So much for trying to be a productive member of society..

Marinesniper,

Sorry for you, that you took offense.

I have 60 % SC and SSDI - I don't have 4 kids I am raising - the one I had and raised is 35 yrs old.

She barely eeks by in life and I do all I can to help keep her electricity on - her home is in foreclosure

and I supplement all I can for my 3 grandkids.

We will be going to hit up the local thrift stores and consignment shops for their new school clothes in August.

By shopping there we can get cool - name brand items on the cheap. I usually find the thrift stores are less expensive

than the consignment shops.

I'll end up dropping about $150.00 on each of them.

I have no idea where she will live when the mortgage company takes the house, but I do know it

won't be here, my medical disabilities can not take any more stress.

I made no assumptions that you were "sipping champagne, eating caviar or smoking Cuban cigars while complaining about how I don't have enough money to raise my kids."

Just about every one on this web site and most disabled veterans have had to find ways to cut their budgets

and believe me it can be done.

Hell we used to swap recipes here on different ways to make dinner's for several people out of a couple packs of Ramen noodles,

a big bag of frozen veggies, and some dried beans.

And I learned a lot of Chili recipes here too :) Meals for six for under $6.00.

Sometimes kids gotta have ball games at home and scientist now say drinking too much milk isn't

even good for kids anymore.

I did not mean to offend you but when any of us get to the point that we can't bring in more cash

then we put our energy into stretching out what we have a little further.

I personally know of one member here that the whole family has learned to live without

spending any cash the last week of each month - I haven't been able to do that yet

but believe me I'm still working on it.

[Marinesniper]

Jeff, based on what you've stated, about your current psychological condition, I, personally, feel you'll be turned down for Voc Rehab, as untrainable, at this juncture in your life. Sounds like your doing a great job and you get to be home w/your kids, too. That's great!!!! I realize making ends meet while raising 4 children is costly/difficult, especially just on VA and SSDI but you stated that $4k a month is less than the $57k average median income in your county. I disagree and feel it's equal, as the $57k is usually gross and the VA/SSDI is net, which would equal about $60k if taxable. Also think of the all the work related expenses you don't need to pay.

I don't think anyone here is trying to put you down, just offering some insight thru our experiences. I know when I attended culinary school, back in the early 90's, my PTSD was much like yours and I was in my mid to late 40's. I had a great deal of trouble dealing w/the kids, many of whom were there just to avoid going to work. You can still inquire about Voc Rehab and see what they may offer. Don't give up your dreams!!!

That's all from me. Again, best wishes for you and your family. Enjoy the time you are lucky enough to get to spend w/your children because you can't work. I'm sure later in life they'll appreciate the time they were able to spend w/you over what they might have had. Unfortunately, we don't realize that until later in life!! jmo

pr

Thanks Philip,

I know what everyone is saying, and I do really appreciate ALL your comments...even if I sounded a bit ungrateful and defensive. One thing I failed to mention is that my kids have a lot of medical problems and in one year alone I had to cover the costs of THREE surgeries. Now, we all know that CHAMPVA helps cover some of that cost, but I still ended up with a LARGE amount of medical bills that I am still paying on, including one for my daughters stay in the ICU which totaled over $40k. It's not a matter of going to thrift shops instead of name brand stores, my wife MAKES my kids clothing to save us money, and we purchase the majority of our food through a church food program that provides us with a fairly large amount of food at a fairly reasonable price. I think we've cut about as many ends as we can, and I for one know that my undergarments and socks are probably holier than the pope's.. I agree that it is important to stretch your money when times are tough, but things can only stretch so far before they break in two! Anyways, point well taken and thank you everyone for your suggestions.

Based on what I read from everyone over the weekend I sent an email to my counselor this morning asking him to withdraw my request for training unless he could guarantee that I would not lose my P&T status by participating in it. It's just not worth losing all of the benefits that I have just to feel "productive" and make a few extra bucks. I was wondering though...Is it possible to apply for Vocational Rehabilitation AFTER my 20 years of being on P&T disability has passed? If yes, then I could be assured that my benefits would remain in place while I received the training that I need to pursue my dreams....Maybe one of you knowledgeable people can answer that question for me??

Carlie: Thanks for your suggestions, and thanks for your kind and appropriate response. I'm sorry I was so defensive, but I had a hard day after finding out that my actions might result in my losing my benefits...I was in the middle of a major anxiety attack, and I guess I took it out on you..Anyways, I hope you accept my apology..

[carlie]

Marinesniper,

No problem here - we all have had life hit us hard at times.

It's very difficult when the reality of being disabled hits us.

We are no longer - what we once were.

This does not have to mean tho - that we are less than we once were.

Down the road it will mean so very much that you've had good

quality time with your kids.

Sometimes we don't see what good work we are actually doing.

Yes, we must have money to survive - but there are many things in life

that have no price tag.

I did not mean to scare you about loosing your benefits - just realize

you must be cautious. VA can say your P&T - but until you hit

20 years solid of 100 percent - there is no guarantee.

I believe pr gave you some pretty good info on your wife having

a business on the side lines.

I personally have never skinned a cat - but I've always heard

there's more than one way to do it.

Hang in there.

[robert51]

Thank you for your suggestions. However, I take offense to your comment about re-evaluating my financial priorities. You have NO idea what my current or past financial situation is or was. I am the SOLE provider for my family, minus a meager income that my wife brings in from her PART-TIME job. While you may seem to think that $4000/mo. is a COMFORTABLE level of living, I wonder if you currently have FOUR children that you are caring for in today's economy. The MEDIAN family income in my county is currently around $57,000 a year, which is about a THOUSAND dollars more than I make a month, so I wouldn't say that I am WELL OFF by any means. I don't know what your assumptions are, but I can tell you that I am NOT sipping champagne, eating caviar or smoking Cuban cigars while complaining about how I don't have enough money to raise my kids. ALSO..your explanation about about total impairment..that's ME to a tee...As I stated before, I am very LIMITED in what I can do, I am just trying to do what I CAN. It was my psychiatrist who told me that I could try to seek part-time work at some point, not the voices in my head. However, I have taken what you all have said in to consideration and I am going to withdraw my request for voc rehab assistance and sit every night now praying that I haven't called down the VA GODS onto my head to take away everything I have worked so hard to get up to this point. That should do my paranoia and hyper vigilance some good.. Guess it's off to the VA for some anxiety meds next week...So much for trying to be a productive member of society..

come on dont get testy... i get a total of 50,000 and have 6 children with 2 still in school to some this is not enough to me its heaven sent..

[Philip Rogers]

Jeff - to the best of my knowledge you can apply anytime, including now. You could continue w/your application process now. Nothing says you have to accept what they offer, "if" they offer something. You could also try it but nothing says you'll be successful, at this time. You might try taking a Wilton cake decorating course using the ILP. It's your choice. I know you want to be a productive member of society but who says you have to work to do it. Also, you're wife could bring in about $1,000 a month, less costs, under chapter 35. Just a thought!!

pr

Thanks Philip,

I know what everyone is saying, and I do really appreciate ALL your comments...even if I sounded a bit ungrateful and defensive. One thing I failed to mention is that my kids have a lot of medical problems and in one year alone I had to cover the costs of THREE surgeries. Now, we all know that CHAMPVA helps cover some of that cost, but I still ended up with a LARGE amount of medical bills that I am still paying on, including one for my daughters stay in the ICU which totaled over $40k. It's not a matter of going to thrift shops instead of name brand stores, my wife MAKES my kids clothing to save us money, and we purchase the majority of our food through a church food program that provides us with a fairly large amount of food at a fairly reasonable price. I think we've cut about as many ends as we can, and I for one know that my undergarments and socks are probably holier than the pope's.. I agree that it is important to stretch your money when times are tough, but things can only stretch so far before they break in two! Anyways, point well taken and thank you everyone for your suggestions.

Based on what I read from everyone over the weekend I sent an email to my counselor this morning asking him to withdraw my request for training unless he could guarantee that I would not lose my P&T status by participating in it. It's just not worth losing all of the benefits that I have just to feel "productive" and make a few extra bucks. I was wondering though...Is it possible to apply for Vocational Rehabilitation AFTER my 20 years of being on P&T disability has passed? If yes, then I could be assured that my benefits would remain in place while I received the training that I need to pursue my dreams....Maybe one of you knowledgeable people can answer that question for me??

Carlie: Thanks for your suggestions, and thanks for your kind and appropriate response. I'm sorry I was so defensive, but I had a hard day after finding out that my actions might result in my losing my benefits...I was in the middle of a major anxiety attack, and I guess I took it out on you..Anyways, I hope you accept my apology..