ptsd Non Combat Ptsd

[ADodge]

I put in two claims of PTSD one that was a sexual assault.  The 2nd one happened while I was in Iceland as a dependent wife/Navy reserve.  And the trauma I experienced there was if you can believe it worse than the sexual assault!!! When I tried to leave Iceland with my 2.5 yo son because my active duty husband and I were not getting along and I wanted to return to my home state until he was finished with his duty in Iceland. Then we could decide what we were going to do.  I was scheduled to leave on a flight out. My son and I were signed up and had stayed at the Flight Center hotel where it is suggested all personal flying out the next morning should stay.  Everything was fine and then an hour before we were to board my son and I were pulled aside and I was told that the Base Commander had pulled our tickets and that I was being ordered to stay.  I was pissed and told the Legal Officer that came and told me this.  That I had the right to leave, I had signed up weeks before and was approved for the flight.  Why the hell was I being ordered to stay?  He told me that the commander wanted my husband and I to come to some kind of agreement before I left Iceland with our son!!!! I returned back to my military housing after I spoke with the base commander who promised me that my husband would not be given leave or permission to leave Iceland either until this matter was settled.  The next morning my husband asked if he could take our son on a picnic and I said sure no problem.   Approximately 3 hours after he left a mutual friend came to the door and gave me a letter with pictures of my son and husband getting on an Icelandic Air flight out of Reykjavik, destination unknown.  His commanding officer the Captain of the Naval Hospital had given him emergency leave.  His friends had all chipped in to buy him and our son a plane ticket.  My ACTIVE DUTY HUSBAND had kidnapped my son with the help of the NAVY!!!!  That also most killed me!!!  I had to have a congressman call the base commander to get me off that island.  It took me over 70 days to find my son.  They ordered my husband back right away but he went to Illinois and hid our son.  So he returned to Iceland without our child.  This trauma has had a life time affect on the level of love I have been able to give to my children.  I didn't realize that is what had happened until I had my 2nd child and then my 3rd.  My 2nd and 3rd child are 7 years apart.  There was no way I could have anymore after the 3rd child and I realized this PTSD would forever affect the level of love I have for all the children in my life.  That I will live forever knowing I will never again experience or feel that innocent, wholesome and untainted love I had for my son, before he was kidnapped by his father in Iceland with the help of the US NAVY!!!   

I am not sure what the VA us gong to say about this claim, if they will in fact even considered it.  But if it is rejected I will Appeal it as many times as it takes..  And if I have to take it to a Federal court then so be it.  Because this claim above all others for PTSD isn't just about me,  it's about my children too. 

And if I had known previously to 2014 that the Navy was now taking responsibility for some of the Psychological Damage they have caused in the lives of American's that gave them so many years of their life serving their county.  I most definitely would have filed back then!!  And even as I write this (Please excuse me for sounding so angry) my heart breaks and I cry knowing what I lost for my kids and wondering if it affected them as they grew up. 

[Andyman73]

Oh my goodness, ADodge, my heart breaks for you!!! I had a foster baby go back after 14 months, and we felt like he died.  But I cant imagine your hurt and pain of having your baby stolen from you by misdirection of your employer and spouse!

I will pray for you for complete restoration and healing between you and your kids.

Semper Fi.

Andyman

[pumibel]

Well, ADodge, as a mom, I can say that what happened to you is right up there along with death of a child when it comes to a parent's worst nightmare. I feel for you, and I wish you the best.  I don't know how old your children are now, but I think it would be beneficial for all of you to have counselling. At least have a talk with them to explain how that experience affected your relationship with them. It may seem like it is too late or too little, but you would be validating their feelings and it is never too late to love your kids with all of your heart. It is important that the children know that the reason why you held back. It is important for you to feel free to heal and to help them heal.  

[ADodge]

I think it was around 1989 when I realized that I was extremely depressed, this was after I had finally found my son and gotten him back.  And after my divorce and the birth of my second child.  But once I realized I was severely depressed or that there was something wrong I got help.. I began treatment and therapy.  And haven't stop receiving both since that time.  As my children grew they also received therapy.  And over those years there were times when some neighbor called the child social services on me and a social worker came and investigated my home.  She also went and interviewed each one of the therapist that my children were seeing.  And eventually the investigation was filed as unsupported claim of abuse and neglect.  (living in a small town in Massachusetts can be dangerous for a single mum who pisses off some wealth ass hole by rejecting his gross advances toward her!! LMFAO)  But years later I got a copy of that file and read the investigation and the interviews with the 3 therapist.  And each one of those therapist told that social worker that I parented my children intellectually.  That the only time that style of parenting was normally seen was in parents that had previously had experienced the death of a child or in cases such as mine when a child is kidnapped and missing for some time.  But because I parented my children intellectually it would seem unlikely for me to either abuse or neglect them in anyway.  When I read that report I cried because it was so true.  That was how I parented my children.  And I knew why.  And It broke my heart to realize that no matter how much counselling I had received, nothing had changed the fact that there was this Wall that was never going to be broken through!!   And to this day I know this.  I have talked to my children and the oldest two have children of their own and they said they understand,  And my youngest is 20 and she is very emphatic and I know she understands too. But for me it just doesn't make it any better or hurt any less!!!!  And maybe it's because of how hard I fought to be a parent or maybe its a lot of other things but it really doesn't matter now does it!!!  I still receive therapy every week and that is what works for me at this point in time.    

[Andyman73]

Some things take a lifetime to overcome, and some never do.  I'll continue praying for you and your family.