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ptsd PTSD old/new
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Aquabear
Saw DAV at Northport VA to help with my claim. Gave them my DD214 and showed them my 911 reactivion papers that I never showed anyone or filed to put on my DD214. Hard to type this, I pause after a bit.
Filing for PTSD (never filed) and increase in physical stuff low back, nerve pain, etc.. I've had it (anxiety attacks, sleeplessness) from my Persian Gulf in 96-97 but never followed thru except for what I thought were asthma attacks that put me in medical and in the ER. Then PTSD went full blown after I did Rescue and Recovery for 911 at Groudn Zero/World Trade Center. A VA therapist told me those earlier asthma attacks were Anxiety attacks not asthma. Almost daily Uncontrollable Nightmares, sleeplessness, avoidance, lost all my friends, avoided public stuff, avoided family stuff, public speaking, dropped out of college, couldn't work, went on SSD, Anxiety attacks were happening weekly almost daily until I came in to get help. God am I really really depressed but trying to talk myslef out of it???
Now going thru a divorce, fighting for custody too as I have been the stay at home parent for 6 years now to our 10 year old daughter, she's the love of my life.
Not easy to talk about.
I've suffered for years, only a handful know about this. I've been getting help at the VA PTSD clinic since summer of last year after I knew I hit rock bottom and the thoughts going thru my head were scarying me.
I would not have made it this far if it wasn't for them. I've been in 3 different group therapies (self esteem, depression, Combat related trauma PTSD) and also one on one with my counselor. It's so hard to type this, I keep pausing after every sentence.
I have medicine I get from them, Xanax; to help with the PTSD and anxiety attacks that I get.
Still hard, difficult super diffcult sometimes but the meds, mindfulness, yoga, meditation, eating better, resting, more confidence in myself.
Sorry if I'm all over the place. Haven't posted here in a while and only recently started opening up about my PTSD.
Thank you.
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