ptsd Would the VA be so cruel?

[anxiousinMD]

Hi all, I haven't checked in for awhile trying to preserve my sanity...but here I am again and absolutely sick. My claim just jumped from Gathering of Evidence to Pending Decision Approval on Monday, Dec. 21st, with estimated completion date of Dec 26-Jan 1. Background: I filed for an increase in PTSD and IU at the same time back in May 2015, and was awarded a partial decision with an increase in my PTSD from 30% to 70% in October, which was based on hospital admission notes only according to the decision letter. The letter claimed they never received my medical records from the VA outpatient clinic I go to regularly for treatment and that I never showed up for a C&P (the VA rep I called noted that in the system it had been requested of the contractor but it was never scheduled and I was never notified). I also had an IMO from an independent doc stating I am unemployable and recommended I receive at least 100% or TDIU, but the VA put in their decision letter for the increase that the hospital admission shows more weight. The holidays are usually a very tough time for me and having this to stress and worry about right now is not ok...and my birthday is the first week of Jan as well...which has always been a horrible time of year. I just don't need to hear a negative outcome right now with my house in foreclosure and no options, I've exhausted everything. I haven't been working for over a year and was placed on FMLA by my employer for disability (related to my SC conditions). I've also sent the VA the documentation and the notes from the docs indicating I'd require extensive absences and time for treatment, and that I cannot work when undergoing treatment, which has been ongoing since 2012. I've been doing all I can to prepare for the worst, but the moment my status changed to Pending Decision Approval, I lost it and can't sleep or do anything else but obsess. I was denied for SSDI already and currently in reconsideration phase, which was a huge blow as well.

Would the VA be so cruel to deny me right now?? I don't expect special treatment for holidays and not everyone celebrates or cares, but I recognize there are human beings on the other side of these claims...maybe I could manage the bad news in Feb or March, at the minimum why not just defer me for a denial until after the new year, it's known that the holidays aren't the best times for mental illnesses...at least I can have a thread to hope on for the next couple weeks. It's literally an every day effort to find a reason to keep going...I just can't do worse right now.

Please excuse my rambling, this is the only outlet I have and I've been driving myself even more nuts.

[Berta]

I know how you feel. Christmas was always rough on my husband due to Hanoi Hannahs threat in Vietnam to his unit -Dec 24th 1965- but they didnt get overrun as she promised, just a bullet into their tent post.

Dec 24th 1988 was different...he got a VA proposal to reduce and the fully decorated Christmas Tree went flying out the front  door. They reversed on the NOD I wrote.

We cannot control what VA will or wont do....or when

"The letter claimed they never received my medical records from the VA outpatient clinic I go to regularly for treatment and that I never showed up for a C&P (the VA rep I called noted that in the system it had been requested of the contractor but it was never scheduled and I was never notified). I also had an IMO from an independent doc stating I am unemployable and recommended I receive at least 100% or TDIU, but the VA put in their decision letter for the increase that the hospital admission shows more weight."

What do they mean as to more weight from the hospital admission?

Did they ignore the IMO?

 

 

[anxiousinMD]

I'm so sorry if this came off as entitled and insensitive to anyone who also had their claims denied any time of year and waited much longer than me...I know there's folks much worse off with no end in sight. Just venting...no other place to go.

[anxiousinMD]

@Berta thank you for replying...I suppose that answers my question. I'm just hoping I'm not a file to get off someone's desk before they go out on leave for the holidays.

The decision letter didn't ignore the IMO, if acknowledging receiving it counts. It was from a licensed psychologist that even does independent C&Ps for the VA. The person I see regularly at the VA outpatient clinic is a PRNP, so I thought having a higher credentialed supporting opinion would help. But I was volunHELD after a visit to a VA emergency room in the psych ward (they told me it was voluntary but if I didn't volunteer, they would probably keep me anyways, so I guess it's an administrative question). I stayed for 3 days but I tried my best to cooperate with everything so I could get out of there ASAP...I was terrified and sick but told them I was fine and tried to appear fine so I could leave. So my admission notes say things like "veteran was pleasant and cooperative" and the other generic notes from the staff that are put in the records that are probably the same for everybody unless I throw a fit or throw myself off the walls. They put that I decorated a tshirt and other activities that I did not participate in, so like I said I'm assuming they just copy and paste notes for everyone.

[Berta]

Oh NO don't apologize-----and I sure didn't mean it to appear that way in my post.

You have every right to be stressed out by any pending decision.

And dear veteran -you are entitled to whatever compensation your evidence shows you should have,....

We do understand your vent...I have vented like Hell here many times.

The system is a runaway train.......and the backlog is VA's fault not ours.

 

 

 

 

 

[Buck52]

anxiousinMD

just know that a lot of us understand how you feel and its an awful feeling to have to feel this way.

Just hang in there and fight them tooth and nail for your benefits.

if you have to or when it happens as for as losing your home, keep up your fight with the VA   b/c you will prevail and when you do it will be worth your fight...not sure how much retro you will get  when you reach the 100% P&T but I bet you get there.

if you win your claim in 2017  theirs a good chance you will be able to either re-buy your home or get a bigger better nicer home  with these low interest rates.   a veteran can refinance or buy a bigger home...remember 100% veterans  are exempt from property tax  and that gets the mortgage payment way down, and no PMI

I want you to know there will be better days ahead for you my friend,  just hang in there and get your well deserved benefits.

My spouse and I have started over twice in our 44 year marriage  we were homeless one time with no where to go,  lucky my spouse had a sister we stayed with until we got on our feet but now were both to old/disabled to be moving anywhere.

 but I'd love to try Sunny Southern California , Bakersfield  or Palm Springs  in the dry desert.  eh!

but were stuck here in Tx with the high humidity/high temp in the summer  & Bone chilling wet cold that just kills our bones, and an old cranky neighbor no one can get along with eh!

btw, all my family siblings live in California...Imagine that.

Hang in there buddy!!!!

[broncovet]

I lost my home in 2004...waiting on VA.  However, I finally got my benefits in 2009..effective date 06.  Now, I have a lawyer who is fighting VA to pay me from 2002-2006 (when I first applied.)

Things are pretty good, now.  Im no longer without a home.  But I still want my back benefits.  My lawyer believes enough in me that she is advancing $500 of her own money to pay for a Voc rehab evaluation, which she says I need.  

The good news is I got a JMR (Remand) from the Court of Veterans claims, so the lawyer is getting paid by the EAJA about 6000.  That means that I have a lawyer, on my side, that is mostly or totally paid by EAJA fees.  (At least the first 6000 is paid by EAJA).  

I have been fighting VA for 14 years.  Alex fought them for 19 years and finally got a six figure retro...something like a half million.  

If you get denied think of it as a forced savings account, that you have to fight to keep.  Hang in there, many of us have been there, I certainly have.  

My Christmas will be white, but not green.  I am making most of the Christmas gifts.  I got a lathe for 40 dollars at a yard sale, and made at least 10 pens on the lathe for friends and family.  

I suggest you keep your self occupied with a hobby.  I make Christmas presents on a lathe.  You do something you like that keeps your mind off VA.  Go fishing.  Go to antique stores.  Spend time with grandkids.  Do what you like and what makes you happy.