ptsd Working

[matt]

Hello everyone,

I am a member and have posted a few times. i am currently awaiting my c and p for PTSD. I am a forced retired National Guard Officer, that has deployed a few times over my 21 years. I filed back in april 08 and have had a cp for hearing and one last week for my back, however, i am still awaiting my c and p for PTSD. I have an appt with my regular Dr. this coming friday and want to discuss with him about how I go out on short and long term dis with my company benefits. unfortunately, at this point, i do not think i should be working as I am just wasting the companies money as I am having some pretty big hardships in concentration hallucinations etc...I called my VA shrink for a hurry up appt and the soonist is dec 19th. this is crazy...I need specialized care pretty much once a week or more. I don't know what too do. i can't lose the job, which I am pretty much in danger of doing and I can't quite do to needing the money to pay bills, feed the kids things of those nture. such a catch 22. My VSO told me until I am SC, he cannot submit paperwork for disability. any thougths would be appreciated.

Matt

[matt]

Carlie,

The VSo was just trying to help ,i asked him questions that I did not know the answers too. i was actually quite apprehensive about filing the claim. I simply was just trying to live with the pain and emotional circustance I was dealt. unfortunately, bottling it up for a few years and trying to drink myself to pain free/peace just isn't working anymore. I am coming to grips with reality.

The hallucinations I am having are more of a flash fo light in the corner of my eye, like an explosion or an artillary round coming out of the tube.(BTW, I am an 13A, Artillary Officer). So actually not a hallucination. Flashbacks I have are of a few pretty fearful times I had in Iraq with incoming. My claim is also for TBI, as I was 20 meters from a 120mm mortar exploding, how i did not get injured is beyond me.

I am having trouble with discussing this with my employer as i work in the finacial industry with a book of business and can't really afford to miss work, however, on the other hand i am spinning my wheels everyday not reall getting anything done. I can't think straight, say the wrong thing at the wrong time, not making sense, can't concentrate. it gets so bad, that I can read something and i can simply look away fro a split second and can't remember what i was doing 2 seconds ago. I don't even want to get into my problems with anger and how irritable I am. I am depessed all the time, sometimes i just feel like crying to let it all out. as you can see I am starting to come out of my shell.

I did call my employer benefits group today to find out how to go on STD/LTD. This friday when i see my family dr, i will discuss the options with him and let him make the call. If he says, i need a break from work then, i just need to file a claim via the phone, they will contact my dr and make a recommedation. All my vacation and sick days will be used prior to me going out on STD first. LTD will come 26 weeks after. on the 4th month of STD, a packet will be sent to me to fill out to move to LTD.

Matt

[purple]

matt-

the short term and/or long term disability thru your employer is a good idea...that is what i did thru my work. if you don't feel comfortable talking to your employer about your condition maybe you can have your doc write everything down, you can both go over it and you can give the letter to your boss. sometimes that is easier and kind of breaks the ice.

as far as the flashes of light you describe....you might want to get your eyes checked to make sure that you don't have any retinal damage. can't hurt to have it checked out...i have this problem from time to time and when i call the eye clinic and tell them what is going on they tell me to come in right away. just a thought.

best of luck

[JON]

Matt,

A word of caution about filing long and short time disability through your civilian employer. If your disability is service connected, your civilian employer's insurance carrier may deny benefits. The excuse they will use is that your disability was "service connected", not occuring on the civilian job. They can do this as they cite that the military has it's own disability system and you need to file there. It happened to me and the state retirement system has it documented that the employer's insurance is not liable. If you had broken your back or something like that at work, then your employer's long and short term disability woul cover it.

Check with your paymaster or human resource department.

Good luck.

[matt]

jon and Me,

Thanks for the advice. yeah i know i am walking a slippery slope with filing a PTSD disability claim with my civ employer for SC stuff, however, I can not afford to quite my job, not sure if SSD would kick in until 6 months after I stopped working I just do not have 6 months of bill money built up in cash in the bank. So, not sure what to do. god knows how long the rest of my c and p's will take to get done and finally make the determination. Just wish, i had a due over with getting off active duty and going thru the process while being paid for seeing the doctors. With everyone on this baord, i do not want to go homeless by trying to prove my point to the VA...that kind of defeats the purpose. i know filing was the best thing, so we shall see what my dr says on friday.

And I know this has been psoted several times before on this site, but do i need to stop working for 6 months prior to filing Disability with Feds? how long does it take to approve the file, what are the odds? Like I said all i have now is my claim in and VA notes stating the PTSD diagnosis. thanks

Matt

Hello everyone,

I am a member and have posted a few times. i am currently awaiting my c and p for PTSD. I am a forced retired National Guard Officer, that has deployed a few times over my 21 years. I filed back in april 08 and have had a cp for hearing and one last week for my back, however, i am still awaiting my c and p for PTSD. I have an appt with my regular Dr. this coming friday and want to discuss with him about how I go out on short and long term dis with my company benefits. unfortunately, at this point, i do not think i should be working as I am just wasting the companies money as I am having some pretty big hardships in concentration hallucinations etc...I called my VA shrink for a hurry up appt and the soonist is dec 19th. this is crazy...I need specialized care pretty much once a week or more. I don't know what too do. i can't lose the job, which I am pretty much in danger of doing and I can't quite do to needing the money to pay bills, feed the kids things of those nture. such a catch 22. My VSO told me until I am SC, he cannot submit paperwork for disability. any thougths would be appreciated.

Matt

[tagandbag]

Matt, just let your VA claim run its course and hopefully within a year you will be SCed. If you can still work, try to keep working till you can get SCed. If you cant work then apply for SSDI. It does take six mos. for the SSDI to kick in from the time you stopped working. Also look check out other avenues if your being forced to quit or retire from your job. I am sure you have heard of ACLU. There are certain laws pertaining to this, maybe talk to an attorney about that.

Matt also on your hallucination/flashes, to me what you are describing posible retinal/vitreous conditions. I telling you this because I have had a retinal detachment and lost most of the vision in that eye and am now having flashes in other eye. But I am on top of it and my opthamoligist is monitoring it. So my advice to you is get your eyes checked immediately. This is just advice I am no doctor. Hope this helps and good luck.

T&B

[matt]

Tag and Bag,

Thanks I should get my eyes checked out. the funny thing is 2 years ago I had a retina scan and everything looked good, but hey that was 2 years ago. I work of B of A, (hint second largest bank) and in this envirnment i am not tryingt o draw attention to myself, if they allow me to take STD and paid LTD I will. Maybe that will allow me the opportunity to get weekly if not daily help that i need. I have for so long brushed my problems under the rug and tried not to deal with them. unfortunately, the continue to bottle up and it is harder to sweep under the rug.

With waiting for VA to Sc me....lol wow, has anybody else had each of their C and P's at different times. this is crazy. i was actually hoping my general c and p last week was for all my physical issues( back, knees Gerd, things of those nature) but nope just for my back...very frustrating.

Matt