ptsd Mst / Ptsd Covered Up - 2 Years Into Claims Process

[MSTANDFEDUP]

I will try to make this as straight to the point as possible without triggering.

I have been patient and have waited over two years up until now without making a fus.

I've HAD IT. My case should be very cut and dry as I have a pile a mile high of evidence

to support my claim, however the VA denied.

(Air Force) In 2004 I was sexually harassed by my supervisor. The Military Equal Opportunity office

got involved and opened a case against him. After a one month investigation, he was

CHARGED with 4 counts of sexual harassment and one count of discrimination. He was then

DEMOTED in rank.

I then seperated from the military. Honerable Discharge.

Within 6 months, I went into severe mental stress, psychosis of the mind, due to trauma.

I checked myself into a mental health hospital and was there for 2 weeks. I had stopped

sleeping, had anxiety, flashbacks, was replaying the events again and again, the list goes

on and on.

Over the past 5 years, since the 2004 events, I've been homeless twice, I've been

unable to acquire gainful employment, I've been in and out of mental health and have

since finally in 2008!!!! received access to the VA for MST/PTSD mental health care (4 years

too late). Here is the series of events, and I swear that once I am finished with my claim

I will spend the rest of my life helping women and men who suffer from MST with their VA

claims. I am so upset at this point, today I am triggering all over the place and I'm finally

speaking up.

From 2003-2004 in active duty I was repeatedly harassed, threatened, the list goes on

and I don't want to get into personal details here about the assault by my supervisor.

I discharged in 2004, honerable

In 2005 I contacted the MEO office that held the MEO investigation into the harassment

and requested my documents per the FOIA (Freedom of Information Act). I have a copy

of this letter sent to them. In 2007 I received a letter back, stating the documents had been

destroyed. This was two years too late. I requested in 2005!!!! The letter told me to contact

the Secretary of Department of Defense and that under a 2 year clause the documents were to

be destroyed. I have a copy of this letter and have sent it to my claim file with the VA in 2007.

I also have a copy of the orginal claim statement from MEO during the investigation, I sent this

to the VA in 2007. (made copies at the time of the investigation, which goes over the harassment in detail,

times/dates/places, MEO investigated numerous other people who also confirmed the harassment before he was

charged with the crimes and demoted). I sent a copy of the investigation paperwork into

the VA when I opened my claim for PTSD/MST in 2007.

I spent 2005 until today in and out of mental health hospitals, clinics, etc. all of this documentation

has been sent to the va.

THE VA DOCTORS AT THE LOCAL VA CLAIM I HAVE MST/PTSD and rate me at 48% GAF SCORE.

Their own DOCTORS state that I have PTSD from MST.

I opened my VA claim in 2007 and I'm now at 22 months in waiting. It was first denied, and I sent

a notice of disagreement. It is now supposedly being "expedited" due to having ended up homeless

again. While staying at the homeless shelter, I had a fax sent into the VA claims stating that I was

homeless and in this shelter (letterhead from the shelter). This is when they said it would be expedited.

This was the second time I ended up homeless.

Now a few months have gone by and the VA telephone representatives say they have no record

of an original EXPRESS MAILED DOCUMENT that I sent in 2007 which contained 1) the MEO investigation

paperwork I had copies of 2) a letter from the acting commander at the time in which he talks about

the incidents in the letter. They said they have no record of that from 2007. So I then RE-SENT in

EXPRESS mail and registered mail AGAIN, copies of the same documents.

I finally got up the nerve yesterday to call the base where the events happened. As soon as I called

I triggered and began crying. I called the MEO office and asked about the case documents, again

was told there is no record anymore that they were possibly destroyed in 2005. I expressed my

feelings to this office and I'm now officially going to put in a written complaint to the base commander

about how the entire case was handled back in 2004, how fast it was swept under the carpet, and

how I should have immediately been placed into counseling/mental health treatment immediately

after the incidents occured and immediately after the MEO investigation. The investigation into the

harassment was as bad as the harassment itself. It was first turned on me, then after the month

went by, I was given an apology from the Wing Commander about how this sort of thing would

"never happen under his chain of command again". There is a zero tolerance policy alright, it's a zero

tolerance policy for anyone who SPEAKS UP about harassment/rape.

The VA says the claim is being expedited. They said they are now waiting for records from the

National Personnel Archive and Federal Archieve. Well one more ounce of proof is if they pull the

perpetrators personnel record to see he was DEMOTED.

They can destroy records all day, but if I learned anything at all it was make copies of everything.

I have the basic MEO investigation copies from the investigation, the commanders letter from official

govt email address talking about the events, I guess I have to prove a stressor. What else could

I have to prove, HE WAS CHARGED WITH FOUR COUNTS OF SEXUAL HARASSMENT AND ONE COUNT

OF DISCRIMINATION. I suffered through the harassment for one years time, then had to suffer

through the investigation for a month and come home in complete shambles. The VA mental health

doctors claim I have PTSD from MST.

Hello? The VA cannot possibly be this bad with their claims process. I'm at 22 months. I'm fed up

and I'm ready to start speaking out and I can assure these people that the last thing they are going

to want to be out in the news is information regarding how bad my case truly was, and to what extent

it got to. There was a point in 2006 that I began prostituting myself to put food on the table. I gave

up my life, my self esteem was gone, I stopped caring about myself, my life, I almost killed myself

at one point, I was in psychosis of the mind, hiding out in a hotel room afraid to death of anyone in

uniform. I was afraid to even go to the VA for help or anyone else at that point because I was so

mentally stressed and afraid and replaying the events, that I thought someone in uniform would come

hurt me again.

HELLO VA, IF YOU'RE READING THIS, I'm at my limit and I'm close to posting up information for the world

to see about how you, the armed services, and the DOD handles PTSD cases for women and men raped

and abused in the service.

I LOST MY LIFE FOR 5 YEARS!!!

[MSTANDFEDUP]

i was on facebook recently and i think im in a bad episode now or something because im really flashing back or something but

i had someone on my friend list who was one of the guys that lived in the same dorm

that i was semi-friends with at the time when i started having this

episode this past month ive been all over the place, i wouldn't say he was really a friend but we knew each other from the dorms, anyway...

he deleted himself from my friend list the other day so i dunno but i think he removed himself

because i started flashing back he either knows something i dont or he didnt want to be around

if i started remembering tings

i remember a little from that time frame and i remember that i heard

he was telling

people in the dorms that he slept with me but it wasnt true and he knows

he was lying back then...when i heard that gossip from someone i remember being

mad that he was saying some bullshit to make himself look cool or whatever

because i def. never slept with him and i wasnt sure at the time why he was telling people that

but i think it was to make himself sound cool or something cuz i def. didnt sleep with him

i did sleep with my sons father about a year into the stuff that was going on,

i loved and got engaged to him but looking back i think that i clung to him for safety or something during a bad time in my life

after everything that happened with my supervisor at work i really think i wanted some

stability at the time and my sons father was a good guy we talked about getting married

at the time and i know in my heart he really loved me but after all the mess i totally spiralled

out of control mentally so our relationship was destroyed (by me once i went ptsd i stopped making sense so i think shortly after my PTSD set in it messed up our relationship because i spiralled and i remember being angry with him afterwards)

but i think

mad guys were trying to make up lies and shit about me.. i dont remember fully

what happened anymore

but it was def weird how this guy just deleted himself from my friend list the other day

he prob. didnt wanna be around

if i started flashing back or some shit... it was just weird how all of a sudden he was

gone from my list

i think i was a pretty girl or whatever and like mad

guys would look at me a certain way no matter how smart i was guys or how hard i worked

it didnt matter like at work i would work so hard at my job and my supervisor would just

keep making jokes and it got worse and worse and id work harder i had various duties and i was dedicated to my job so i tried to keep going through it and thought maybe he would leave me alone

then i remember the TDY a little it was a few guys from my job and me we went to work

at another base and were staying at a hotel

and i remember my supervisor coming to my door and i he said i needed to go with the guys over the boarder to mexico because they wanted to go drink and party and i didnt want to go so i said i wasnt going and i remember he threatened me and said that if i didnt go no one was going

i remember the guys making jokes and shit that i wasnt a team player because we had gone to a restaurant and there was a SGT with us from the other base and i remember he was asking me if i was ok ..i remember him asking if i was ok with what was being said and i think the MEO office contacted him later im not sure

he was really nice and i think he cared about me looking back now but i dont know what happened anymore its all a mess mentally i cant like put it all together its all scattered around

i remember calling my sons father we werent engaged yet we were just friends then and he was mad and i remember he was going to drive to the base it was like 5 hrs away from where we were stationed but my supervisor threatened me and said he couldnt come there but my sons father i think wanted to kill my supervsir at the time i remember he was on the phone and going to drive to the base i feel really sick i