MSTANDFEDUP Posted August 22, 2009 Share Posted August 22, 2009 I will try to make this as straight to the point as possible without triggering. I have been patient and have waited over two years up until now without making a fus. I've HAD IT. My case should be very cut and dry as I have a pile a mile high of evidence to support my claim, however the VA denied. (Air Force) In 2004 I was sexually harassed by my supervisor. The Military Equal Opportunity office got involved and opened a case against him. After a one month investigation, he was CHARGED with 4 counts of sexual harassment and one count of discrimination. He was then DEMOTED in rank. I then seperated from the military. Honerable Discharge. Within 6 months, I went into severe mental stress, psychosis of the mind, due to trauma. I checked myself into a mental health hospital and was there for 2 weeks. I had stopped sleeping, had anxiety, flashbacks, was replaying the events again and again, the list goes on and on. Over the past 5 years, since the 2004 events, I've been homeless twice, I've been unable to acquire gainful employment, I've been in and out of mental health and have since finally in 2008!!!! received access to the VA for MST/PTSD mental health care (4 years too late). Here is the series of events, and I swear that once I am finished with my claim I will spend the rest of my life helping women and men who suffer from MST with their VA claims. I am so upset at this point, today I am triggering all over the place and I'm finally speaking up. From 2003-2004 in active duty I was repeatedly harassed, threatened, the list goes on and I don't want to get into personal details here about the assault by my supervisor. I discharged in 2004, honerable In 2005 I contacted the MEO office that held the MEO investigation into the harassment and requested my documents per the FOIA (Freedom of Information Act). I have a copy of this letter sent to them. In 2007 I received a letter back, stating the documents had been destroyed. This was two years too late. I requested in 2005!!!! The letter told me to contact the Secretary of Department of Defense and that under a 2 year clause the documents were to be destroyed. I have a copy of this letter and have sent it to my claim file with the VA in 2007. I also have a copy of the orginal claim statement from MEO during the investigation, I sent this to the VA in 2007. (made copies at the time of the investigation, which goes over the harassment in detail, times/dates/places, MEO investigated numerous other people who also confirmed the harassment before he was charged with the crimes and demoted). I sent a copy of the investigation paperwork into the VA when I opened my claim for PTSD/MST in 2007. I spent 2005 until today in and out of mental health hospitals, clinics, etc. all of this documentation has been sent to the va. THE VA DOCTORS AT THE LOCAL VA CLAIM I HAVE MST/PTSD and rate me at 48% GAF SCORE. Their own DOCTORS state that I have PTSD from MST. I opened my VA claim in 2007 and I'm now at 22 months in waiting. It was first denied, and I sent a notice of disagreement. It is now supposedly being "expedited" due to having ended up homeless again. While staying at the homeless shelter, I had a fax sent into the VA claims stating that I was homeless and in this shelter (letterhead from the shelter). This is when they said it would be expedited. This was the second time I ended up homeless. Now a few months have gone by and the VA telephone representatives say they have no record of an original EXPRESS MAILED DOCUMENT that I sent in 2007 which contained 1) the MEO investigation paperwork I had copies of 2) a letter from the acting commander at the time in which he talks about the incidents in the letter. They said they have no record of that from 2007. So I then RE-SENT in EXPRESS mail and registered mail AGAIN, copies of the same documents. I finally got up the nerve yesterday to call the base where the events happened. As soon as I called I triggered and began crying. I called the MEO office and asked about the case documents, again was told there is no record anymore that they were possibly destroyed in 2005. I expressed my feelings to this office and I'm now officially going to put in a written complaint to the base commander about how the entire case was handled back in 2004, how fast it was swept under the carpet, and how I should have immediately been placed into counseling/mental health treatment immediately after the incidents occured and immediately after the MEO investigation. The investigation into the harassment was as bad as the harassment itself. It was first turned on me, then after the month went by, I was given an apology from the Wing Commander about how this sort of thing would "never happen under his chain of command again". There is a zero tolerance policy alright, it's a zero tolerance policy for anyone who SPEAKS UP about harassment/rape. The VA says the claim is being expedited. They said they are now waiting for records from the National Personnel Archive and Federal Archieve. Well one more ounce of proof is if they pull the perpetrators personnel record to see he was DEMOTED. They can destroy records all day, but if I learned anything at all it was make copies of everything. I have the basic MEO investigation copies from the investigation, the commanders letter from official govt email address talking about the events, I guess I have to prove a stressor. What else could I have to prove, HE WAS CHARGED WITH FOUR COUNTS OF SEXUAL HARASSMENT AND ONE COUNT OF DISCRIMINATION. I suffered through the harassment for one years time, then had to suffer through the investigation for a month and come home in complete shambles. The VA mental health doctors claim I have PTSD from MST. Hello? The VA cannot possibly be this bad with their claims process. I'm at 22 months. I'm fed up and I'm ready to start speaking out and I can assure these people that the last thing they are going to want to be out in the news is information regarding how bad my case truly was, and to what extent it got to. There was a point in 2006 that I began prostituting myself to put food on the table. I gave up my life, my self esteem was gone, I stopped caring about myself, my life, I almost killed myself at one point, I was in psychosis of the mind, hiding out in a hotel room afraid to death of anyone in uniform. I was afraid to even go to the VA for help or anyone else at that point because I was so mentally stressed and afraid and replaying the events, that I thought someone in uniform would come hurt me again. HELLO VA, IF YOU'RE READING THIS, I'm at my limit and I'm close to posting up information for the world to see about how you, the armed services, and the DOD handles PTSD cases for women and men raped and abused in the service. I LOST MY LIFE FOR 5 YEARS!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MSTANDFEDUP Posted January 3, 2010 Author Share Posted January 3, 2010 I have so much understanding now for what other vets have been through I'm young you know? I never understood in my life, I'd see homeless men in my life and go "oh he should just clean up his act"...now I know what happens to people. It's horrible and sad and over the past years I've tried to help others as best as I can in my own mess ways. I would hoard and then donate and if I had extra money and I wasn't homeless I would give the money I had to people on the streets, I totally know what people are going through now and if I survive this I really want to open an Outreach for the homeless, mentally ill, veterans, prostitutes...I learned a lot on the streets in the aftermath that I never would have thought prior to joining the military what I know now. I picked up "street smarts" I guess, understanding of trying to survive, and I see life totally differently now. I was very smart prior to and now I have trouble with little things and lost a lot of my memory and focus. I was like this young pretty girl joining the military to help protect the country (probably naive to the world) with so much love and pride and then next thing I know I'm a societal drop out with mental health. never in my life would i have imagined this is what would happen to my life. If I can bounce out of this mess I'm dedicating the time I have on this earth to helping people with mental health problems and veterans as much as i possibly can. I guess like they say don't judge till you've walked a mile and now I've been there done that and it's not pretty what people have gone through at all. It's sad and I see the homeless population here growing daily and just wish that people didn't have to suffer so much. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MSTANDFEDUP Posted January 3, 2010 Author Share Posted January 3, 2010 One thing that really gets me is that if i had an anxiety order since 03 why following did no doctor ever give me anxiety meds? I remember a few years back a friend gave me a Xanax because all of my friends were telling me I was having panic attacks and I didn't really recognize because I was not all there mentally. After I took the Xanax I remember my friend said "wow you seem so much better"... and now I have to question why I was labeled BP disorder and never given anxiety meds...that is a bad misdiagnosis by a civilian doc who saw me for 20 mins and made the decision I was BP....which is not even the case at all The VA says I'm PTSD/mst and it's funny but the VA claims is making me prove I'm PTSD/Mst when the docs at the VA say I'm PTSD/Mst....so what is this just like a process to make u go even more crazy??? Why this doc years back misdiagnosed me probably ruined the later years a lot because I was just going with anxiety and going and going and going untreated What I've learned on the streets and stuff now is really good actually because the VA wants to know why the suicide rate is so high right now...I have some great answers to those questions....simple stuff... when every drug addict in town has anxiety meds and the Vets who actually need the anxiety meds can't get them....there is a real problem!!!!! I knew of people selling the drugs and I really tried to stay away from drugs because I was already a mess (coffee and smoking was my drug of choice- which I learn now that PTSD shouldn't be drinking lots of coffee or taking caffinee because it causes a rush added to like an anfedmines rush type of thing - there is a great article i found about vietnam vets who had PTSD and had the same kinda rushes).... but knowing what I know now, and knowing that all of these drug addicts got access to anxiety meds and knowing a ton of homeless Veterans now....why is it that people are being misdiagnosed? the minute the military is mentioned and someone seems "out of it" they should be immediately looking at PTSD.... I've learned a bunch of street smart types of things and maybe that information can help others as to why people are on the streets and things are as bad as they are I WAS absolutely suicidal with what i've gone through but honestly im too strong for that ...there were so many times i wanted to off myself after the mess but honestly i wouldn't and it's sad that so many people are dying and i think that there are some simple answers to problems that are happening right now...i've got a list of them i can think off the top of my head Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HadIt.com Elder Wings Posted January 3, 2010 HadIt.com Elder Share Posted January 3, 2010 x x x What were the "Reasons" the VA denied your claim? What is the status of your claim now: is your claim on "Appeal" to the VA Regional Office, or the BVA? ~Wings Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MSTANDFEDUP Posted January 3, 2010 Author Share Posted January 3, 2010 i'm pretty positive i have the comorbid post traumatic stress disorder, severe severe PTSD that went misdiagnosed for too long Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MSTANDFEDUP Posted January 3, 2010 Author Share Posted January 3, 2010 the reasons i was denied were a list originally one reason was something to the effect of "incidents happened on TDY" making it non-important or something (yet the incidents of harassment went on for 1 year at the base, the TDY incidents are a big part of it but the whole thing should be looked at as events/incidents not brushing it off like oh something bad happened on tdy so it doesnt matter the other reason was "sleep disturbance" the reasons for denial were incredible I'll scan it, im scanning documents right now for various people I have had some wonderful help from various agencies at this point that are looking at the documents and also a group in washington that is a legal group that takes over VA claims cases they have all of the documents and i found some more documents this week unhoarding stuff im trying to focus focus and get the stuff to where it needs to go in case i go off mentally again Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MSTANDFEDUP Posted January 3, 2010 Author Share Posted January 3, 2010 my GAF score is a 48 i think but i am pretty sure i am totally mentally imparied at this point once the dissociation happens your mind isnt the same anymore im happy im recognizing it for what it is now because for the longest i had no idea wht was happening to me but i space out big time Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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MSTANDFEDUP
I will try to make this as straight to the point as possible without triggering.
I have been patient and have waited over two years up until now without making a fus.
I've HAD IT. My case should be very cut and dry as I have a pile a mile high of evidence
to support my claim, however the VA denied.
(Air Force) In 2004 I was sexually harassed by my supervisor. The Military Equal Opportunity office
got involved and opened a case against him. After a one month investigation, he was
CHARGED with 4 counts of sexual harassment and one count of discrimination. He was then
DEMOTED in rank.
I then seperated from the military. Honerable Discharge.
Within 6 months, I went into severe mental stress, psychosis of the mind, due to trauma.
I checked myself into a mental health hospital and was there for 2 weeks. I had stopped
sleeping, had anxiety, flashbacks, was replaying the events again and again, the list goes
on and on.
Over the past 5 years, since the 2004 events, I've been homeless twice, I've been
unable to acquire gainful employment, I've been in and out of mental health and have
since finally in 2008!!!! received access to the VA for MST/PTSD mental health care (4 years
too late). Here is the series of events, and I swear that once I am finished with my claim
I will spend the rest of my life helping women and men who suffer from MST with their VA
claims. I am so upset at this point, today I am triggering all over the place and I'm finally
speaking up.
From 2003-2004 in active duty I was repeatedly harassed, threatened, the list goes on
and I don't want to get into personal details here about the assault by my supervisor.
I discharged in 2004, honerable
In 2005 I contacted the MEO office that held the MEO investigation into the harassment
and requested my documents per the FOIA (Freedom of Information Act). I have a copy
of this letter sent to them. In 2007 I received a letter back, stating the documents had been
destroyed. This was two years too late. I requested in 2005!!!! The letter told me to contact
the Secretary of Department of Defense and that under a 2 year clause the documents were to
be destroyed. I have a copy of this letter and have sent it to my claim file with the VA in 2007.
I also have a copy of the orginal claim statement from MEO during the investigation, I sent this
to the VA in 2007. (made copies at the time of the investigation, which goes over the harassment in detail,
times/dates/places, MEO investigated numerous other people who also confirmed the harassment before he was
charged with the crimes and demoted). I sent a copy of the investigation paperwork into
the VA when I opened my claim for PTSD/MST in 2007.
I spent 2005 until today in and out of mental health hospitals, clinics, etc. all of this documentation
has been sent to the va.
THE VA DOCTORS AT THE LOCAL VA CLAIM I HAVE MST/PTSD and rate me at 48% GAF SCORE.
Their own DOCTORS state that I have PTSD from MST.
I opened my VA claim in 2007 and I'm now at 22 months in waiting. It was first denied, and I sent
a notice of disagreement. It is now supposedly being "expedited" due to having ended up homeless
again. While staying at the homeless shelter, I had a fax sent into the VA claims stating that I was
homeless and in this shelter (letterhead from the shelter). This is when they said it would be expedited.
This was the second time I ended up homeless.
Now a few months have gone by and the VA telephone representatives say they have no record
of an original EXPRESS MAILED DOCUMENT that I sent in 2007 which contained 1) the MEO investigation
paperwork I had copies of 2) a letter from the acting commander at the time in which he talks about
the incidents in the letter. They said they have no record of that from 2007. So I then RE-SENT in
EXPRESS mail and registered mail AGAIN, copies of the same documents.
I finally got up the nerve yesterday to call the base where the events happened. As soon as I called
I triggered and began crying. I called the MEO office and asked about the case documents, again
was told there is no record anymore that they were possibly destroyed in 2005. I expressed my
feelings to this office and I'm now officially going to put in a written complaint to the base commander
about how the entire case was handled back in 2004, how fast it was swept under the carpet, and
how I should have immediately been placed into counseling/mental health treatment immediately
after the incidents occured and immediately after the MEO investigation. The investigation into the
harassment was as bad as the harassment itself. It was first turned on me, then after the month
went by, I was given an apology from the Wing Commander about how this sort of thing would
"never happen under his chain of command again". There is a zero tolerance policy alright, it's a zero
tolerance policy for anyone who SPEAKS UP about harassment/rape.
The VA says the claim is being expedited. They said they are now waiting for records from the
National Personnel Archive and Federal Archieve. Well one more ounce of proof is if they pull the
perpetrators personnel record to see he was DEMOTED.
They can destroy records all day, but if I learned anything at all it was make copies of everything.
I have the basic MEO investigation copies from the investigation, the commanders letter from official
govt email address talking about the events, I guess I have to prove a stressor. What else could
I have to prove, HE WAS CHARGED WITH FOUR COUNTS OF SEXUAL HARASSMENT AND ONE COUNT
OF DISCRIMINATION. I suffered through the harassment for one years time, then had to suffer
through the investigation for a month and come home in complete shambles. The VA mental health
doctors claim I have PTSD from MST.
Hello? The VA cannot possibly be this bad with their claims process. I'm at 22 months. I'm fed up
and I'm ready to start speaking out and I can assure these people that the last thing they are going
to want to be out in the news is information regarding how bad my case truly was, and to what extent
it got to. There was a point in 2006 that I began prostituting myself to put food on the table. I gave
up my life, my self esteem was gone, I stopped caring about myself, my life, I almost killed myself
at one point, I was in psychosis of the mind, hiding out in a hotel room afraid to death of anyone in
uniform. I was afraid to even go to the VA for help or anyone else at that point because I was so
mentally stressed and afraid and replaying the events, that I thought someone in uniform would come
hurt me again.
HELLO VA, IF YOU'RE READING THIS, I'm at my limit and I'm close to posting up information for the world
to see about how you, the armed services, and the DOD handles PTSD cases for women and men raped
and abused in the service.
I LOST MY LIFE FOR 5 YEARS!!!
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