hypertension Got My C File Today!

[Cavtrooper088]

Hi gang,

Finally got my "C" file today. I'm currently rated as 70% PTSD and (90%) overall. I would appreciate your thoughts on where I go from here relative to filing for IU or trying to get to 100% PTSD. I understand the words written below, but not sure I understand the meaning of the words written by the examiner.

Here are the comments made from my C&P exam for PTSD. "on the Beck Depression Inventory, this veteran endorsed a number of symptoms yielding a score of 35, which indicates an extremely severe level of depression. He was also tested with the MMPI and the results were judged to be valid. Profile elevations are consistent with a diagnosis of PTSD. Of note are endorsements of items suggestive or persecutory ideas and social isolation. His score of 158 on the Mississippi is more than one standard deviation above the mean for the PTSD group.

Diagnoses:

AXIS 1. 309.81 post traumatic stress disorder

AXIS II. V7109 (I don't understand what this means--Cav)

AXIS III. Hypertension (same here Cav)

AXIS IV. Chronic severe emotional problems, phase of life concerns. (phase of life??--does he think I'm gonna to turn into a friggin butterfly??)

AXIS V. GAF 45

Summary and conclusions "Results of this examination are consistent with a diagnosis of PTSD chronic, severe. Veteran was decorated for valor seven times and his symptoms are directly attributable to his horrific and life threatening combat experiences in VN. His clinical presentation was consistent with the results of psychological testing. This veteran has structured his life in such a way that he can, at times, appear to have successfully staved off a complete exacerbation of his PTSD symptoms. However, his ability to do so effectively is currently being taxed. His difficult postwar adjustment, workaholic style and self reported symptoms are hallmark features of PTSD. I suspect that his mental health will continue to deteriorate such that he will no longer be able to function adequately either at home or in the work place. I strongly urge this veteran to seek treatment for this condition.

This Doc sure read my future correctly. This was written 20 Feb 07, and I was terminated for aggressive, hostile behavior in the work place two months ago. Again, thanks for your help. I would appreciate your thoughts. Please don't think I'm a mean person---I try real hard to control my anger--sometimes I can't. Cavtrooper088

[BoonDoc]

I quit shaving two days ago, ain't gonna take a bath for days, and dress really like I feel for my appointment at the VA. No eye contact (even though my father would whack me a good one for that) and I'm going to look like I feel...thanks for posting that Cav..you helped Me today.

Sorry for your BS with the VA, you deserve better thatn what you are getting!

BoonDoc

I am adding these comments to an old post so that you can see the original comments on my PTSD C&P, and compare these comments with the comments from my medical file.

To start out--I finally got my medical records today. As I read through the notes from the mental health dept I was dismayed. Finally, the light is slowing coming on in the thick skull I have, and I'm starting to realize why so many vets are bitter towards VA. I've spent many months talking with these folks--seeking help with my anger management, nightmares and memories of combat. I find out today that they're really more concerned with the fact that I "dress neatly, maintain good eye contact and and speaks with a clear voice. Completely minimizing the fact I have been in four physical altercations in the past two years (with a$$holes), been fire for fighting in the workplace and I just can't clear my mind of the men that were loss due to my mistakes.

I flew cobras in VN until I was wounded and evac in my 10th month. I was shot down twice, spent eight terrifying hours on the ground ( I ain't a grunt--didn't sign up to be a grunt didn't like being on the ground playing hide and go seek with strange little people trying to hurt me) until I was extracted. I was awarded three distinguished flying crosses, bronze star w/v device, Air Medal w/v device and a PH and some other stuff. My unit (TF Gerry Owens) lost 30% of the pilots (all but 4 were KIA's) over a 45 day period while fighting the battle of An Loc in 1972. Our unit, which was decimated, was awarded a Presidental Unit Citation and stood down following this fight and the survivors (me being one) were farmed out to other Cav units in county. Do they focus on this--no instead they compliment me on being neatly dress and maintain good eye contact. He--, my momma and Dad (God rest their souls) taught me to dress neatly and speak clearly, and maintain good eye contact---What's this got to do with the price of tea in china?

All these folks want to do is to show that I am making progress. They change my meds every six weeks, try to turn me into a walking zoombie, and ask me if I'm gonna kill myself or anyone else in the next few days while they log in how much better I am getting and pat themselves on the back. In fact my GAF has steadily risen from the 45 on my C&P exam to a consistent 50-55. Obviously due to their brilliant observations that I am "neatly dress, maintain good eye contact and speak with a clear voice. All this miracle curing has taking place while my life is rapidly spending out of control and I am going to hurt myself or somebody.

Thank you Jesus--VA has healed me. Now we will all go down to the altar and praise VA. Give me a ffriggin break.

(I'm Southern Baptist- so I probably just got in trouble for that last sentence--Gotta go to church for sure Sunday).

I'm sorry if I have offended anyone. I didn't mean to offend, but I am hurting right now. I thought these folks were listening to me and trying to help me. They don't care. I'm just another entry on the score card. Cavtrooper

[Cavtrooper088]

Ha--that what dumb cav guys are for--finding out how not to do something. Good luck with your next visit BoonDoc. Evidently, that is exactlly what ya need to do.

By the way I hope your own young Cavtrooper makes it back home in record time from the land of sand. God Bless him.

Thanks for making me laugh.

Cav

[Pete53]

Describing your appearance and demeanor is something that they all do. A forking game but after my first C&P where the idiot spent 1/3 rd of his evaluation discussing that I was dressed good wearing a leather jacket good eye contact and well groomed the light went off and I usually don't shave for a couple of days and even wear a dirty shirt but an I look at progress notes they still like to show that I am better than I was and their medicine is working.

The medicine you take is important cause even it it makes you better the VA has to consider what meds you are taking and how they affect your life.

Don't lie but know that you are in a battle and you have to play the game or never win. I really des[pise the VA for making us play this charade.

Sometimes I think these quacks who treat us at VA are even mnore delusional than the craziest Vets I know.

Boon Doc I think you got it.

CAV Trooper good luck from another CAV Trooper

[Cavtrooper088]

Thanks Pete53---I am not as angry now, and I'm starting to look (read study) at this thing as impartially as I can. I appreciate you and BoonDoc giving me your throughts on this. I hate going to these things baring your soul to a stranger---talking to them about your most painful thoughts and guilt that you've tried to bury for decades and all they're hearing is:

blah--blah--blah--hey this dude has nice shoes and he looks at me when he talks. Geeeez

I'm still A friggin new guy, but I recommend anyone just starting this PTSD journey take Pete's and Doc's advice.

Next time I go in there I'll be ready. Gonna buy a wig (growing this thinning hair won't work), sleep in my clothes for a week prior and I'm gonna look at their shoes for the whole d--n interview. :o

Scouts out Pete. Thanks Doc

Cav

[BoonDoc]

Cav

I hate going to these things baring your soul to a stranger---talking to them about your most painful thoughts and guilt that you've tried to bury for decades and all they're hearing is:

This brings up some problems with some of us going for treatment of MH disorders, we are taught to 'push through' not show anything bothering us, no emotions, then when we eventually realize that somethings gotta change, and go to try to get help, we can't even express how the hell we feel...that's all been turned off from a very young age, and the military pushed it deeper.

I think if they wanted too, they could use anyway that we look against us, but I'm betting that the dressed down normal weekday look will fare better, at least I won't be waisting my time with a dang shower, and brushing my teeth :o .

CAv, Thanks for asking about my boy, last I heard He was doing good with the 3rd CAV, 25th INF.

BoonDoc

p.s. get some 'Bubba' teeth for your next appt too LOL!

[Cavtrooper088]

LOL You're right Doc. I'll get me a set of those teeth, and I'll start working on a twitch :o If I remember right I think I might have had one at one time. :o

Cav