Jump to content

Ads

  • Search

  • 0
my3jcc

Killing Or Dying

Question

Well I did what people wanted me to do. Now I am confused. It didn't help me any better. I feel worse. I can feel anger and to hurt someone. I stopped drinking a year ago. I usually have a drink now when I feel this way. the voices are coming around like before. Alot of anger. It's sunday over here and I can't get a hold of my psychiatrists and counselor. The message on the phone said in case of an emergency go to ER. But, I can't do that. People will know and put me inside. I can't do that. Hurting someone else or even killing always goes through my mind...that's why I want to kill myself instead. Has anybody else got this reaction after a c&p? I've gone through the national center for ptsd in menlo cali two years ago. Anxieties are rising and then I can't think. I'm hoping this helps.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Recommended Posts

My3 my friend. A lot of us have the same feelings. They are very dangerous and sometimes the only help comes from an in-house stay for a couple of weeks. Don't worry about the exam as all will come out well. Your number one priority at this point is to get medical attantion.

If possible sit back and review your feelings. Ask yourself would hurting someone else really help? Would doing harm to yourself really help? When I ask myself these questions and really put some thought into the answers I realize that the answer is no. Hurting someone else or myself will only bring sadness to our loved ones and deep down we do not want to cause this. Hang on my friend and please go to the ER NOW.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Ad


you are not alone, feel good about where you are now. C&Ps are the worse. I have had 3 in the past 2 years for my PTSD, those were the worse days. It will take a bit but you will recover, like always. You are strong, and that is why you are still here.

Good luck.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
My3 my friend. A lot of us have the same feelings. They are very dangerous and sometimes the only help comes from an in-house stay for a couple of weeks. Don't worry about the exam as all will come out well. Your number one priority at this point is to get medical attantion.

If possible sit back and review your feelings. Ask yourself would hurting someone else really help? Would doing harm to yourself really help? When I ask myself these questions and really put some thought into the answers I realize that the answer is no. Hurting someone else or myself will only bring sadness to our loved ones and deep down we do not want to cause this. Hang on my friend and please go to the ER NOW.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Thanks for replying. I've been trying to ground..but I'm so angry I feel like destroying whatever is around me including this computer. I just need time. All of this compensation and c&p really makes me even madder...due to the fact I've been living with this and my alcohol for over 20 years and now I feel helpless without a drink to get drunk. sometimes the alcohol would give me the strength to follow through. All I want is to make someone hurt who deserves it. There I go again. I'm scared of myself because I really do feel I have the capabilities now, even without alcohol, to follow through. I know this sounds pathetic.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Thanks for replying. I've been trying to ground..but I'm so angry I feel like destroying whatever is around me including this computer. I just need time. All of this compensation and c&p really makes me even madder...due to the fact I've been living with this and my alcohol for over 20 years and now I feel helpless without a drink to get drunk. sometimes the alcohol would give me the strength to follow through. All I want is to make someone hurt who deserves it. There I go again. I'm scared of myself because I really do feel I have the capabilities now, even without alcohol, to follow through. I know this sounds pathetic.

No sir, not pathetic - simply realistic for a veteran. The alcohol will simply allow you to be someone that you are not so drinking and committing such an act will not accomplish anything as it will not really be you committing the act! If it is the claims process that has you wrapped up just think of it as a game. A game of combat where you are sitting quitely waiting for the enemy to make a mistake and then you make your move - the kill will be the granting of your claim. It will take time so you will have to be patient----------HOWEVER, remember, it is hard to win a battle alone so you will have to have help and that help is only a skip and a hop away at the ER. There you will find the help and relief you need to make it through this battle my friend. I am sorry you are suffering this way and it breaks my heart to read your words and not be able to reach out and touch you. We vets are a special group one that loves each other and feels the pain that our vet family during such times. Hang on and give in and seek the relief your truly want and deserve. Go ahead and go to the ER and in a couple of weeks we will be posting on how to kick butt with your claim.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now


  • Advertisemnt


  • Most Common VA Disabilities Claimed for Compensation:   

    tinnitus-005.pngptsd-005.pnglumbosacral-005.pngscars-005.pnglimitation-flexion-knee-005.pngdiabetes-005.pnglimitation-motion-ankle-005.pngparalysis-005.pngdegenerative-arthitis-spine-005.pngtbi-traumatic-brain-injury-005.png

  • Latest News
  • Our picks

    • If you are a Veteran, represented by MOPH, you need to know that MOPH is closing down its offices.  This can have a drastic effect on your claim, and it wont be good for you.  You likely need to get a new representative.  

      This station confirms MOPH is closing its doors:

      http://www.kwtx.com/content/news/Waco--Purple-Heart-veterans-service-center-to-close-its-doors-480422933.html

       
      • 0 replies
    • Retroactive Back Pay.
      Retroactive Back Pay - #1Viewed Post Week of March 19. 2018

      My claim is scheduled to close tomorrow for my backpay.
      Does anyone know if it does close how long till the backpay hits the bank?
      Also does information only get updated on our claims whenever the site is down?
      • 44 replies
    • Examining your service medical records...
      * First thing I do after receiving a service medical record is number each page when I get to the end I go back and add 1 of 100 and so on.

      * Second I then make a copy of my service medical records on a different color paper, yellow or buff something easy to read, but it will distinguish it from the original.

      * I then put my original away and work off the copy.

      * Now if you know the specific date it's fairly easy to find. 

      * If on the other hand you don't know specifically or you had symptoms leading up to it. Well this may take some detective work and so Watson the game is afoot.

      * Let's say it's Irritable Syndrome 

      * I would start page by page from page 1, if the first thing I run across an entry that supports my claim for IBS, I number it #1, I Bracket it in Red, and then on a separate piece of paper I start to compile my medical evidence log. So I would write Page 10 #1 and a brief summary of the evidence, do this has you go through all the your medical records and when you are finished you will have an index and easy way to find your evidence. 

      Study your diagnosis symptoms look them up. Check common medications for your IBS and look for the symptoms noted in your evidence that seem to point to IBS, if your doctor prescribes meds for IBS, but doesn't call it that make those a reference also.
      • 9 replies
    • How to get your questions answered on the forum
      Do not post your question in someone else's thread. If you are reading a topic that sounds similar to your question, start a new topic and post your question. When you add your question to a topic someone else started both your questions get lost in the thread. So best to start your own thread so you can follow your question and the other member can follow theirs.

      All VA Claims questions should be posted on our forums. Read the forums without registering, to post you must register it’s free. Register for a free account.

      Tips on posting on the forums.

      Post a clear title like ‘Need help preparing PTSD claim’ or “VA med center won’t schedule my surgery” instead of ‘I have a question’.


      Knowledgable people who don’t have time to read all posts may skip yours if your need isn’t clear in the title. I don’t read all posts every login and will gravitate towards those I have more info on.


      Use paragraphs instead of one huge, rambling introduction or story. Again – You want to make it easy for others to help. If your question is buried in a monster paragraph there are fewer who will investigate to dig it out.



      Leading to:

      Post clear questions and then give background info on them.



      Examples:

      A. I was previously denied for apnea – Should I refile a claim?



      I was diagnosed with apnea in service and received a CPAP machine but claim was denied in 2008. Should I refile?




      B. I may have PTSD- how can I be sure?


      I was involved in traumatic incident on base in 1974 and have had nightmares ever since, but I did not go to mental health while enlisted. How can I get help?





      This gives members a starting point to ask clarifying questions like “Can you post the Reasons for Denial from your claim?” etc.

      Note:

      Your firsts posts on the board may be delayed before they show up, as they are reviewed, this process does not take long and the review requirement will be removed usually by the 6th post, though we reserve the right to keep anyone on moderator preview.

      This process allows us to remove spam and other junk posts before they hit the board. We want to keep the focus on VA Claims and this helps us do that.
      • 2 replies
    • I have a 30% hearing loss and 10% Tinnitus rating since 5/17.  I have Meniere's Syndrome which was diagnosed by a VA facility in 2010 yet I never thought to include this in my quest for a rating.  Meniere's is very debilitating for me, but I have not made any noise about it because I could lose my license to drive.  I am thinking of applying for additional compensation as I am unable to work at any meaningful employment as I cannot communicate effectively because of my hearing and comprehension difficulties.  I don't know whether to file for a TDUI, or just ask for additional compensation.  My county Veterans service contact who helped me get my current rating has been totally useless on this when I asked her for help.  Does anyone know which forms I should use?  There are so many different directions to proceed on this that I am confused.  Any help would be appreciated.  Vietnam Vet 64-67. 

Ads



How to get your questions answered.

All VA Claims questions should be posted on our forums. Read the forums without registering, to post you must register it’s free. Register for a free account.

Tips on posting on the forums.

  1. Post a clear title like ‘Need help preparing PTSD claim’ ...
  2. Knowledgable people who don’t have time to read all posts may skip yours if your need isn’t clear in the title ... 
  3. Use paragraphs instead of one huge, rambling introduction or story. Again – You want to make it easy for others to help ...
Continue Reading


  • Advertisemnt

  • Advertisemnt

  • Ads

  • 14 Questions about VA Disability Compensation Benefits Claims

    questions-001@3x.png

    When a Veteran starts considering whether or not to file a VA Disability Claim, there are a lot of questions that he or she tends to ask. Over the last 10 years, the following are the 14 most common basic questions I am asked about ...
    Continue Reading
     
  • Can a 100 percent Disabled Veteran Work and Earn an Income?

    employment 2.jpeg

    You’ve just been rated 100% disabled by the Veterans Affairs. After the excitement of finally having the rating you deserve wears off, you start asking questions. One of the first questions that you might ask is this: It’s a legitimate question – rare is the Veteran that finds themselves sitting on the couch eating bon-bons … Continue reading

×

Important Information

{terms] and Guidelines