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Killing Or Dying

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my3jcc

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Well I did what people wanted me to do. Now I am confused. It didn't help me any better. I feel worse. I can feel anger and to hurt someone. I stopped drinking a year ago. I usually have a drink now when I feel this way. the voices are coming around like before. Alot of anger. It's sunday over here and I can't get a hold of my psychiatrists and counselor. The message on the phone said in case of an emergency go to ER. But, I can't do that. People will know and put me inside. I can't do that. Hurting someone else or even killing always goes through my mind...that's why I want to kill myself instead. Has anybody else got this reaction after a c&p? I've gone through the national center for ptsd in menlo cali two years ago. Anxieties are rising and then I can't think. I'm hoping this helps.

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My3 my veteran friend, have been there and done that!! Spent so much time in jail over the years for going postal it is pathetic. Used alcohol to self medicate, it seemed to work until it got to the point where I was consuming so much alcohol I ended up at the ER with what I thought was a heart attack that turned out to be acute alcohol poisoning, spent 7 days in intensive care. Get some help NOW!!! Go to the ER NOW!!!! The VA psyc's have me on lorazepam and a host of other meds that really help but I had to get off the alcohol, you don't want to die that way!! I understand what you are feeling and what can happen as a result of those emotions. Ask your "Higher Power" for help, it will come if you keep asking sincerely!! One day we will all meet on the "great parade ground in the sky", then and only then will we be at peace and be together.

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My3 my veteran friend, have been there and done that!! Spent so much time in jail over the years for going postal it is pathetic. Used alcohol to self medicate, it seemed to work until it got to the point where I was consuming so much alcohol I ended up at the ER with what I thought was a heart attack that turned out to be acute alcohol poisoning, spent 7 days in intensive care. Get some help NOW!!! Go to the ER NOW!!!! The VA psyc's have me on lorazepam and a host of other meds that really help but I had to get off the alcohol, you don't want to die that way!! I understand what you are feeling and what can happen as a result of those emotions. Ask your "Higher Power" for help, it will come if you keep asking sincerely!! One day we will all meet on the "great parade ground in the sky", then and only then will we be at peace and be together.
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Thanks for all your advice and support. I am now inpatient for the second time "PTSD treatment program" in Cali. Checked in Feb 2010 and been here for the past 60 days. It has helped control my behavior I just have to keep my fingers crossed I can use the skills taught in the real world. I'll be discharged in two weeks...feeling alittle scared. Thank you again for your words of wisdom and guidance. You saved me from myself. XO

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Thanks for all your advice and support. I am now inpatient for the second time "PTSD treatment program" in Cali. Checked in Feb 2010 and been here for the past 60 days. It has helped control my behavior I just have to keep my fingers crossed I can use the skills taught in the real world. I'll be discharged in two weeks...feeling alittle scared. Thank you again for your words of wisdom and guidance. You saved me from myself. XO

It's so good to read that you went for treatment. Being scared about your discharge is to be expected. Just remember that you aren't alone and we'll be waiting to hear more from you.

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Thanks for all your advice and support. I am now inpatient for the second time "PTSD treatment program" in Cali. Checked in Feb 2010 and been here for the past 60 days. It has helped control my behavior I just have to keep my fingers crossed I can use the skills taught in the real world. I'll be discharged in two weeks...feeling alittle scared. Thank you again for your words of wisdom and guidance. You saved me from myself. XO

My3, good for you, in so many ways. Yeah, it's scary walking back out through that door, knowing that the rest of the world is waiting. But you'll be surprised at how the lessons & skills will pop into your head, just when you need them most.

good luck!

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