ptsd Mst / Ptsd Question

[Cm Burns]

I was a victum of SExual harrasement several times while on active duty in the military. Once i basic, and 2 times while stationed in Ga. One resulted in my daughter. At the time I just took it and didnt really have a reaction good or bad. I was 18 and just manipulated. Never reported it. I am not getting treatment for the mst/ptsd because what I didnt realize my life and the way it has turned out was affected because of it. its all documented by my therapist. I am on anti anxiety med also due to my horrible distrust of people around me and in social situations. I have filed a claim for and depression and ptsd are on there. Here is the questions. Is it possible I will get awarded when at the time I did not realize the severity of the situation and that i was being manipulated and used adn allowed 2 of the 3 men to basically ruin my life. My trust, my self esteem I mean everything. My dr says I have been in depression since then and has it well documented in my va records. I have to see a phyciatrist. and phycologist on a weekly basis now. I just thougt I was ment to have bad things happen to me and my life was goinig to be horrible and full of hurt and pain. I never realized until my diagnosis that all that was happending was not just my tragedy and a result of depressoin that I had for over 10 years. Will this affect my being awarded you think. because there was sex will I not be awarded. I mean please give me your input. i hate thinking about it but i mean its all I think about lately because we are discussig these things in therapy weekly. My head is juts all messed up and most times I cannot function. I have no jon and am even homeless right now. I am at rock bottom. As stated I did not report it then though I kneww it was wrong. I just wanted thing to be ok and to be left along trying to make it. Now I see that I was just young and I guess not smart.

please give me any input you can offer.

thnx

[Cm Burns]

I SERVIED IN THE ARMY

I AM TRYING TO GET THE RECORDS THEY CLAIM THEY ARE LOST I REQUESTED THEM LAST AUGUST. I AM USING THE ADVISE GIVEN TO ME ON ANOTHER POST TO TRY TO GET THEM.

I AM IN TREATMENT FOR PTSD AND DEPRESSION. I HAVE BEEN DIAGNOSED WITH BOTH.

MY DR AGRESS THAT MY DIAGNOSIS IS FROM MY PTSD AND THE ISSUES I HAVE DISCUSSED HERE.

[airdale]

I posted here a few years back but can't find anything beyond 2010. Anyway, I am in need of assistance or direction with what now is my PTSD sexual assault appeal. The VA has been delaying any type of decision in my case. They have sent me to outsourced psychiatrists who have sided with my claim; they've sent me to a benefits psychiatrist for clarification, and countless doctors under the same reasoning. I was in the navy from 1974-78 and was stationed in Calfornia. I am a male who was sexually assaulted in New York in September 1976. The circumstances surrounding the assault were that I flew on military flights to NAS Lakehurst, which is or was also an airforce base. Two guys approached me, they were in dark-green fatigues with their names on them. They asked me if I wanted a ride because I was on my way to England and had to meet up with other squadron memebers to fly on a commercial flight from Kennedy airport the day after I arrived. Basically, they got me to an abandoned building in an area called the battery where they assaulted me and raped me -- it's still difficult to say that because men are not raped. Of course, I was embarassed, confused and in denial. However, I had injuries including severe bruising on my face and head as well as anal bleeding, which was not apparent. When I got to England, I was treated for my apparent injuries and I did not confide in anyone because it was just too horrible (I was married with child), but this event took everything from me -- there was this vacancy in me. I got back to my home base in California where I was treated but I have only one medical record dated April 1977, that simply says: "head injury." I had been to sickbay prior to that but no other records that I can find exist. I also because of fear, went to a free clinic to find out if I had a disease because I developed a serious rash in my private area. In May 1977 after confiding in my wife in September 1976, she left me. Of course, this sexual assault made me homophobic, and there was this guy about the same time, April 1977, who someone told me he was being discharged because he was gay. That guy said "what's the difference to me," referring to the fact that he was gay and I attempted to attack him. A YN1 stopped me. I explained some of what had happened to the YN1, and he told me not to tell anyone -- he would take care of it. Well, about a month later, a Naval Investigative Service investigator was at my squadron,and my supervisor told me they were investigating me to see if I was gay. Meanwhile, the YN1 calls me and asks me to meet him, which I did, and it turned out to be a gay bar. He told me I needed a sensitivity lesson so I don't go attacking anyone else. After about a month of grueling investigative questioning, NIS I suppose, determined I was not gay. I tried to forget it all. I received an honorable discharge in July 1978 and reported to the VA for an ongoing problem with what I thought was some sort of intestinal problem. The VA was just as maddening. I did file two cVA claims, one for a "hearing problem" and one for "stomach problems." This is what the interpretation of my medical problems were to the VA rep. I was shoved around the VA for about 3 mos, with no satisfaction. They denied my claims. I kept having recurent severe pain in my rectum, and since I had a job and insurance went to a regular doctor. I was treated for about a year with an inflamed spincter and ultimately hd to have an operation for an anal fistula, which was severe bruising caused by the SA. I tried to forget, and continued trying. I went to counseling in the 1980s because I couldn't, but there was no infrastructure for male SA. Again, in early 90s went to sexual addiction counseling -- I was acting out. I approached the VA and filed new more direct claims in 2000 when I was diagnosed with PTSD. To step back a little, in mid-80s began having unusual symptoms then from 1992-2000 lost lots of weight -- I was a skelton. I was diagnosed with AIDs in 2001. I had been sero-converting since about 1984, and never thought this could happen. My claim took on another inquisition and now is in appeal. VA psychiatrists have analyzed me and stuffed me with medications that make me a stump. Found out that my first wife died of AIDs in 2007, and the VA now says she gave it to me. The insanity builds but there is no recognition from the VA, instead they allude to me that it was my fault. I flied a supporting claim for HIV to support my PTSD claim, they told me it was necessary after they had denied the PTSD claim. I have been taking drugs and my HIV is no longer AIDS status -- so I am doing fine there, but I remain frustrated and tired of all the delays.