First Time Visitor, Going To C&p On Monday

[H4nds0l0]

I was discharged from the Air Force back in May 2009. General under Honorable Conditions for Minor Discplinary Infractions, but the first statement in my discharge paperwork was about my Adjustment Disorder as well as Axis 2 Personality traits. This past year I've been battling through some really dark times in my head, and I finally got the courage to go to the VA at the beginning of the month. All I wanted was information on my benefits, and who I could talk to try and appeal my discharge, but the guy put me in for a disability claim. I don't even know what's going on anymore, things are moving so fast. I have to be at this doctors appointment on Monday for whatever the case. I've tried googling information about all of this but I have no idea what to expect.

In my last couple of months in the service I started having sleep problems after I came back from Iraq. Came to work late a couple times. Cried a lot. Had suicidal thoughts. Went to life skills, was prescribed Celexa and Ambien and Paxil, but it just kept getting worse. Kept making mistakes on the job, screwing up paperwork, getting 'abrasive' with the NCOs in my unit. I didn't mean to. I was just in such a dark place, you know? It's funny, you can go from super troop at one end of the year, coming out of basic with honor graduate and loads upon loads of letters of appreciation for volunteer activites I kept up on, to going to Iraq, and coming back and just falling off the world.

Anyway, enough with my rant. What should I expect on monday? I really have no idea.

[H4nds0l0]

I went through about 5 jobs after getting discharged in May of 2009. Now I've been able to hold a job down at a hospital working in the emergency room for the past 5 months, but I still have trouble remembering co-workers names and where supplies are. Working here has been a godsend - I was totally upfront with my boss and co-workers about what is going on and they know I'm a hard worker. I bust my butt and do my best to stay active and contribute, but it's still hard when someone asks me to get a plastic tray and I forget where the plastic trays are.

I'm definately going with a lawyer because I feel cheated. I want this done right and I don't want the work around. I'm 23 years old and I need to get to college so I have some hope for the future. I don't want to live with my parents forever, constantly being a nuisance to them because of my problems. I want to rise up and have a good career and have my own family some day and live in a nice neighborhood. I refuse to be homeless and live on the streets...but it's so hard.

[H4nds0l0]

Also, I don't care about percentages or money or anything. I know I was wronged by the military. They treated me like shit and made me feel like i was a scum bag when I was suffering and threw me out the door. I worked so hard in Iraq. Not only did I do my normal duty activities, I volunteered with Honor Guard out there. Did a Funeral Service. Volunteered for base security. Graduated Basic Training with Honors. Home base I actively volunteered too. Was an usher for a few promotion and retirement ceremonies. Volunteered for Airman Against Drunk Driving. Helped police a stretch of highway for a local clean up effort. Assisted the SERE squadron for SERE outdoor exercises, lugging around my medical bag. I was Santa for the Children's Christmas party. I don't care if I got 10%, 0%, or 50%, or 100%. I just want to know that i'm not a shit head and that I did the best I could for my country. I hate people looking at my DDR214 and shaking their head, thinking i'm a trouble maker when for 9 months I sat in my dorm room crying, not being able to sleep, haunted by nightmares, and not being able to properly focus on the job. They just threw me to the curb...

And now I have nothing here. I just want to go to college and maybe have some chance of becoming a somebody instead of wasting away to a nobody. I don't want to be a nobody, I want to succeed and help more people.