I'm so upset right now, I can scream. I want to run, cry, shout, and then curl up and bed and sleep a few weeks. If I sound distressed, I am. The sad part is I feel like I'm being violated all over again. It's been approx 20 years since my stressor occurred. I was assaulted while asleep in the barracks. Let me first state that I was in the Army Reserve, and on annual training when this happen. I didn't know the guy, nor had I ever seen him before. I do know that the MP's apprehended him the same night. Apparently I was taken to the hospital, I have no memory of what happen after the incident. The next thing I remember was taking a polygraph. I'm sure of the results, but I do know I was threatened verbally and physically by military personnel. While I've tried to maintain a normal life, this incident has haunted every aspect of my life. For you see, I never knew if this guy was prosecuted. I do know that I was never contacted for a court hearing. I was too afraid to ask "did you all prosecute this assaulter?" My self worth suffered some many years, in so many ways. I finally filed for compensation, and while my CMP examiner agreed with the diagnosis from my doctor, I was denied. I received a call a few days ago, the examiner informed me that they coudn't find my orders for this duty station. I didn't have them after all this time, this was the reason for my denial. Do anyone have any suggestions how I could go about getting my orders from so long ago. I requested all of my military records. and no orders are there. A military comrade has a copy of those orders, but she refuse to give me a copy. Please tell me what can I do?