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Koalabiter

Seaman
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About Koalabiter

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  • Service Connected Disability
    60%

Koalabiter's Achievements

  1. Carlie, you're absolutely correct. I was awarded 100% for a combination of PTSD and Depression, but I want to reduce (or lose at this point) the rating because I don't want to quit working. Work keeps me moving and focused. Telling me to stay at home would essentially be a death sentence in my eyes. I plan on appealing, but don't want to have to quit work in the meantime. I teach in a small town, and dropping out during this part of the year (regardless of reason) would be a black mark on my teaching record from which I could never recover. It's sad to say this type of discrimination exists, but I'm not foolish enough to ignore it. Thoughts?
  2. WARNING, LONG POST I'll go ahead and clear the air here; I know this is going to upset a lot of Veterans that have been seeking a strong rating and have been denied. My apologies, I'm not trying to sound ungrateful here. Here's the situation: I am a full-time educator who has been working for several months (successfully). I was at a 50% PTSD rating for the the past four years, but recently went in for my re-evaluation. Terrified of the outcome and possible reduction, I went in prepared; I had my list of symptoms, I wrote down the worst days I've had recently, and I was open and honest with the evaluator. Today, I received notice that my rating for PTSD and depression has been raised to 100%. The money would be nice. I have a family and am expecting another child soon, but I still don't want this rating. I need to work. Structure and implied hierarchies rule my life. I have a routine that I daily and any deviation from this ruins the entire day. If they took my job away, I would genuinely lose it. . . Here are the reasons I want to lose this rating: 1. I'm terrified of losing my routine and know full well that a new one wouldn't be good for me. The paycheck from the VA would be more than I could make at my job (teachers have a salary ladder) until about five years from now. If I have this much money coming in, I'll get stuck in a rut that I will never break free from. 2. I'm terrified about coming to grips with my condition. Yes, I have some problems. No, I don't think they are severe enough to warrant this decision. I'm able to work. I need to work. If I don't contribute something to the world then I'm lost. I know Vets who cannot function in daily society, and I'm not one of them. I don't want to take away from the people who really need this benefit. 3. I'm worried what others think. Yes, I know it's shallow, but I spend the majority of my time analyzing others. One of my conditions is that I've lost the ability to respond well socially; I'm emotionally numb unless I'm chemically altered. With a 50% rating, my friends, family (and possibly employers) think I've got a "little baggage." With 100%, I doubt they could ever look at me the same. Those that love me will question whether I'm going to do something drastic, and those who don't will judge me and may think I'm faking. I'm grateful that the VA took the time and genuinely listened to me, but I think they're overdone it. Can anyone tell me how to rectify this situation? I don't want benefits I don't believe I'm entitled to. I don't want the VA to think I inflated my condition for profit, and I don't want to lose the one thing that keeps me from crawling into a hole (job). How long can i continue to work before they come after me? I'd at least like to finish up the school year. If I break contract (even though it would be for good reason) I would really destroy my chances of ever teaching again. It's a small town, who would hire me after that? Thanks for all the help.
  3. For some clarification: As I said before, this information is only from my DAV letter. I had my re-eval last Tuesday; it will be 90 days before I get my official VA letter. From the DAV: "This letter is not intended to serve as your official notification from the Department of Veterans Affairs (VA). You will receive an official decision from the VA upon completion of necessary administrative processes. The VA reserves the right to modify the decision prior to your official notification. The VA's letter will inform you of the current monetary monthly and retroactive benefits to which you are entitled." "The Disabled American Veterans (DAV) has reviewed the most recent VA decision concerning your claim for benefits. A combined evaluation of 100% has been assigned as a result of the following action(s): Evaluation of PTSD and depression, which is currently 50% disabling, is increased to 0100 percent effective January 17, 2012. If satisfied with this decision, no further action is necessary. If you disagree with any part of this decision, you may file what is called a Notice of Disagreement (NOD) to initiate an appeal." And so forth. Prior PTSD and depression rating: 50% Shoulder: 10% Lower back: 10% Total rating: 60%
  4. Thanks for all the wisdom that you shared with me before my re-evaluation. I went in prepared, created a list and told the doctor how I really was. Fortunately, I had a great examiner who seemed very interested in what I had to say; he even gave me some advice about counseling groups to speak with. Today I received a letter from my advocate (DAV) saying that they reviewed my case and has increased my rating from 50% to 100%. I understand that this isn't the final decision, but now I'm confused and a little nervous. I have a full-time job as a teacher. I thought that a 100% rating means that you are unable to work or hold a position that is considered "gainful employment." Is this a fact that is going to be reviewed by the VA and taken into account? Is there any risk to my job? Having a high rating would be great, but not at the risk of losing my job (I'm also a bit worried about unwanted attention from the VA. They used to call me once a week or so to try and involve me in new treatments). Work provides structure, routine and established hierarchies for me to follow; I need it right now. Yes, I know that the DAV might not have all the info, but I want to be prepared. Have any of you been in this situation before? Where you have a job and are still awarded 100%? Any advice?
  5. This is my first post, so forgive me if something similar has already been covered. I'm looking for some insight here about my up-and-coming PTSD re-evaluation. I'm wondering if there are some steps I should be taking to prepare for the evaluation and if I've managed to shoot myself in the foot already. I'm and OIF 2005-2007 Veteran with a 50% PTSD service connection. I'll admit, I became a little too comfortable with my rating and put it out of my mind. Now, receiving a re-eval letter in the mail, and finding out that I have another child on the way, I'm terrified. The money wasn't important before, but with a second child it will be. Since my original award, I've completed college, had a child, and become married. Will these accomplishments themselves prevent me from a renewal? I still have the same difficulties as before, but manage to work because of the need to feed my family. Problem #2. Frequent trips to the walk-in mental health clinic made me far too complacent. I used to mind my P's & Q's when I went to the clinic. I reminded them of my symptoms, asked for more help and attended therapy sessions. I've also tried 4 different medications for depression, anxiety disorders and insomnia. But after the turn-over of three different mental health providers, I became lazy. I quit explaining my symptoms and was even dumb enough to tell them I had gotten a bit better. Stupid? I know. Does the C&P examiner have access to the notes from my mental health sessions? I want the chance to tell them all the details and truths about my PTSD, but I'm worried they will look at my records and deem me a liar. I know this was lengthy, but I would appreciate any help from a Vet whose been there. Oh, and if you're only going to chastise me about worrying about the financial aspect, don't bother. Like I said, I use my VA benefits and I truly do have a condition. I'm a teacher and can't exactly switch positions at a whim because of contract restraints. If I lose my award, my family is in trouble. Extra details: 10% Lower back 10& Shoulder injury 50% PTSD Caused by IED explosions Several identified stressors and a CAB.
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