airborne29

thank you for your replies. im glad to know at least im not alone in my pain. ill start on the process,

I have no where else to turn to guys. Since 2003 I've been struggling with PTSD to the point where I can't even spend a day with out seeing people and talking to them. Im rated 70% ptsd, 10 tinnitus, 10% wrist fracture. Total 80%. Well, 2 years ago I herniated a disk in my back, the va did back surgery "laminectomy" and did a horrible job. They let a resudent work on me. i didnt put in for a claim becasue the doc said my injury wasnt due to the military. this February I was getting out of my jeep and I had the worse back pain in the world, fell to the ground and couldnt move for two hours. The wife rushed me to the ER at the VA and the doctor gave me morphine and said I was faking my injury for pain pills and didnt know what she could do for me and she said I didn't need an MRI becasue I could still fell my legs so it wasnt an emergency. Two days later, I went to the best neurosureon in my state and paid for a MRI out of my pocket. He said I had a disk disease, two severly herniated disk pressing against my nerve, and the VA did a horrible job on fiixing my first herniated disk. I needed a surgery asap I called the VA but they said they couldn't see me until another 4 months becuase they were all booked up. I paid the neursurgeon 140k to do a back fusion on me last week. This came out of my pocket. I am ony 28 years old and he said there is no way this was not casued by road marches, air asault missions and so on from the military. So, now Im on the couch, taking over 20 pain pills a day and can't walk, work, or even use the bathroom from squinting causing pain. I may never work again. I want 100% rating, I want IU. Since I havent worked since 2003 due to my ptsd, Ill never be able to qualify for SSD or SSI, Its hard to explain but they use some sort of formula that goes by age and time worked. Ive been unemployed for too long and my last iu in 2006 was denied. The doc that did my exam said i was on the wrong meds so it wasnt warranted. Since then I've collected every bottle of meds they hve given me. I have 486 bottles of all sorts of crap that doesnt work that I plan on dragging in with me on my next c&p. How will I ever support my family if I cant get 100% rating. The VA wont even see me. My only hope is my phychatrist wrote me a letter telling the VA he thinks I shoulld be granted IU. Should I get any other letters from anyone? I cant even walk guys. Ive never been this depressed and I dont even know how Im going to pay my bills anymore. i hate to say it but I wish I could take it all back and never had joined. Im so tired of being sick, injured, and feeling like Im just a number that no one cares about.