I apologise for the length of this post, I've never been good at condensing information. A little information about myself first. My name is Joshua I'm 31 years old I'm an OEF/OIF Veteran I was honorably discharged from active duty Army in 2005 I have a PTSD and depression diagnosis by civilian doctor after a suicide attempt earlier this year. I'm now alcohol and drug free after years of abuse and self medication. I have many physical and mental problems which I attribute to military service. I Started my VA Claim 2 years ago yet it's somehow still in the gathering of information stage. I recently received a letter from the VA stating that they can't find my medical records. Because the VA couldn't find them they told me that I should do it. I at first laughed and thought to myself, if the Military can't find my Military Records, how am I supposed to do it? This was insanity, but I tried anyway. I've called my last duty station and they don't have them. They don't know where my records went nor do they care. I've called The National Archives and sent them letters in St. Louis, they don't have them and don't give a damn. I've applied to receive my records online, they sent me dental records and an apology. I went in person to the records keeping of my last duty station and was politely asked to leave. Because my records are lost, they have asked for the following information which doesn't exist or is impossible for me to get: Buddy letters: It's been 7 damn years, all of my military friends are LONG gone I've had no contact with any of my old friends from the military. I do not have Buddy letters and I honestly have no means to get them, I've tried everything I can to get in contact with anyone that knew me in the service for many years. People move on, they leave the military, they PCS, they die, they disappear, this is a fact of life that the VA doesn't understand apparently. civilian medical records for the last 7 years: I have none, They do not exist. I was living under a bridge, I had no income, I was eating garbage out of dumpsters, going to a doctor was the least of my worries. Only recently this year (April) did I become registered in the VA medical system. (They haven't yet provided me with a PCM so I can't make non-mental health appointments), I've tried to make appointments and I get the same answer every time, NO. The only records I have are already in the VA medical system. Statements from military medical staff, I have none. If they exist they would be in my somehow non-existent records. State or local accident and police reports: None exist. Employment physical examinations: I don't have these because I've been unemployed since military service. Any jobs I've applied for haven't gone past the interview stage. (What is your address? Employment rejected) Letters written during service: The few I did write were destroyed by an angry ex-wife Photographs taken during service: None Pharmacy prescription records: please refer to the first point in this list. Insurance examinations: yeah, right... I went to a VSO to help me with my claim which proptly closed it's doors, shut down and destroyed all records and paperwork within a month of me signing over a power of attorney. The VA won't talk to me, they don't have my records, they won't let me see a VA provider, they won't send me any information about my claim. I've been scheduled 3 appointments with the VA in the last 3 months. EVERY SINGLE APPOINTMENT has been an intake class for people new to the VA system. These appointments have also been scheduled in a city 40 miles away from where I am, even though there is a VA clinic 2 blocks from my apartment. I've taken the same class and filled out the same paperwork 3 times. Yesterday I got a notice advising me of a new appointment. Guess what it's for? New patient intake... What the hell is the VA doing here? Am I going insane? Who is running this rag-tag system? What do I do here? Should I just give up? I'm running out of time here. I can't live in this apartment forever. They are starting to tape notices to my door asking for money I don't have. I'm about to head back under my bridge and say the hell with it. What a disaster.