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My claim was just sent to houstons Special Ops team on Monday. I am not sure what exactly that means either but I know that there is one. It is hard to keep my head up about this each day, I am the "why?" and the "what if" person. My therapy groups try teaching me to not think that way but I can't help it. I spiral so much that it is a normal part of my day and has been for years since my event occured, just now I have a name for it. I didn't know about ptsd or that anyone cared about victims of mst. I carry a lot of anger, frustration and resentment and I know getting even a very favorable rating will bring me the light at the end of the tunnel, but it's not a magic wand. I wish it were though. I wonder if we could sit down and talk to these rating people, could they figure things out a little faster. Right now, we are just pieces of paper, opinions from Dr's and such written down on paper. There is no humanity in trying to see us and who we are from a paper. I say we need more of a voice, we need a chance to talk in group or individually to these raters so they can know who the soldier, marine, sailors and airmen are.. If you are like me, then you have never left the service. You know.. you can take a person out of the military but you can't take the military out of the person. Something always remains whether it's good a/or bad.

Well... I have some frustrations that top off at about ready to explode! MST is not a easy thing in any way to live with. I didn't do this to myself! My claim has been sitting in the 'dead pile' for 14 or 15 of the 18 months it has been at the R/O. Frustrated.. you betcha! Each time I call that useless 1-800-827-1000 number I get the same retard answer... it's still just sitting there. Well now it's still just sitting there on somebody's desk. That sounds strangely familiar doesn't it?! Now.. lately since I have been calling once or twice a week, they have come up with a new discovery. A mandate of some sort has come down from the .. as they say "higher up if you know what I mean" that they Must complete all 2010, 2011 cases soon. I've heard soon before too and also "I don't know when they will get to your claim" most often. So, then they say as if it is REAL important information and I should be relieved especially since I have a claim that is taken 2x's the time it's supposed to in Houston... they say that the raters have to stop working on all 2012 and 2013 claims until ALL of the 2010 and 2011 claims are absolutely completed. Oh and get this, they have a task force now and they have status checkers which I just found out a month ago that they even have. I'd been calling regularly for my status and no one had ever even told me. I changed my Power of Attorney to Veterans Service Reps because they are supposed to be really good in getting your claims rated in a proper time frame. They don't know crap either. The status checkers tell me more information than they do and their both looking at the same information! I don't trust the VA anymore! Not in this department. I've been treated quite decently elsewhere but this... NO! In Houston at first they were saying it would take 12-14 months. I kept calling anyway and they kept telling me that it's sitting on someone desk. I filed in Dec. 2011... it is now May 2013. Now when I call.. they tell me, Oh claims in Houston are only taking 1 year to complete.. and I see that you are WELL over that. It looks like they have all the evidence they need, it's just waiting for review... aka sitting on someone's desk - still! ebenefits still says Gathering Evidence. According to the Veterans Service Rep., ebenefits sucks too! So how much faith does that give you in the so-called VA claim filing system? Did I mention that I have done my comp & penn which took only a few weeks for them to receive. That was a long long time ago. Did I fail to mention that the VA kept sending me a form asking me to further explain in detail what happened to me in MST. I was and still am a complete basket case, I'm on medication... I know I have been spiraling all day but it feels good to let off some steam and not have to be civil for things that are not civil to me! What does that do to a person when you ask them to go into detail about the same horrible thing 4 or 5 times! I had to go up there and practically cause a scene to get the guy to understand! I told him to Not send me anymore of them damn forms, I have no more information for them and I keep telling them that! I ended up sick, and in a really really bad way mentally because of the insensitivity of the raters toward my claim. Now they are telling me they should be done with my claim by June 18. She promised me that my file is on someone's desk (I think I told y'all that already) and so that must mean someone is working on it though she can't see who it is. Then she tells me to not call back until 1 July, if it still is not completed then I can speak to a supervisor! I have not heard of anyone speaking to a raters supervisor on any VA claims forum that I've visited so I am sure these people are blowing smoke at me again! I given up any trust I have had in the VA's ability to do their part in taking care of a soldier when they come home. Medical is fine for me, thank God but claims.... I hope that they will one day need to know some sort of information as we do and end up having to deal with someone like themselves. That would make this just about 'square'. Oh yeah, my friend got his SSI & Social Security almost 5x's faster than it's taken me to even get to the point I'm at now with my claim. The Federal Gov't is taking care of it's citizens but not its soldiers! Oh, and the R/O put down all the stuff I'm claiming on one claim. DO Not do this if you can help it. Let them work each claim individually because then you have a little bit better chance of getting one of them to at least be seen by someone. When I first saw the Veterans Service Rep she asked me if I am getting compensated for anything, I told her no and she seemed shocked. I don't know, maybe I'm about the only one who had a moron fill out the claim form. She started to do it separately and then changed her mind and did it all on one claim. If I knew then what I know now...