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peacecindia

Second Class Petty Officers
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Everything posted by peacecindia

  1. Hi Carlie, Thank you for sorting things out. Reading my own crap isn't easy. Someday, I'll learn to shutup and not talk about it. My VA counselor is a phd and the c&p examiner is a phd. Both are VA psychologists. I think my VA therapist's opinion should trump the c&p examiner's opinion since he saw me one week after my c&p and I went to him because of the c&p exam. [He was my regular therapist for a long time before I decided drugs and counseling won't make anything go away. So I stopped going to counseling.] Anyway, he initiated the conversation about the c&p examiner checking the wrong box in the occupational & social functioning area on the c&p report. If the VA guy had not critiqued the c&p examiner's choices, I'd have to be ok with the c&p evaluation. It's just coincidence that I made an appointment to deal with how I was feeling after the c&p and he created my current conflict about my rating. *Edit: Truthfully, I was not happy with a 50% rating and took my Statement of the Case to my appointment, so I don't know if the therapist agrees I should get a higher rating or if I should really have been rated higher. *Second Edit: Self-blame isn't productive and I just wanted to say that the Statement of the Case letter arrived on t he same day of my appointment. It sucks not knowing if I'm manipulating someone or if they are manipulating me or if I deserve more VA money and more VA benefits. I don't feel entitled and instead feel 'eligible'. Dealing with guilt is not my forte. #1 I'm not on meds, because I deal with my problems by being agoraphobic and never going anywhere. #2 I told the c&p examiner I have a sleeping problem and don't go to bed until 5am sometimes. She said, 'Well, you do go to sleep'. I can't argue with the fact that I sleep, but it's tough dealing with not being able to go to sleep until I'm exhausted and feeling like I didn't get enough sleep. #3 I'm complacent about my life and the people in it. #4 I have no hope and no counseling and no money can change that. What I'm left with is a sense of no hope and a conflict about not being evaluated properly. I need sleep right now and I'm sure my emotions are screwed up because of it. So, please forgive me for that. *My upstairs neighbors were recently arrested for burglary at knifepoint and using stolen credit cards AND the male 'accidentally' walked in my backdoor when someone left the door unlocked. A week before, someone was turning my backdoor knob when I was home alone and I turned into something like an animal...felt strangely calm and prepared. If I could just sleep I'd be so happy. I'll also be happy when the rating conflict is resolved.
  2. Printed out form http://www.va.gov/vaforms/form_detail.asp?FormNo=24-0296 and filled it out and mailed it last night. My direct deposit is also messed up, because I closed my old account which VA had info for and opened another checking account.
  3. Pete: 50% is a good start and like you say, 'my foot is in the door' and I'm thankful for that. I requested that my lawyer add COPD as secondary to PTSD and VA sent a letter to me recently saying I have a new claim, so I'm assuming the lawyer started a new claim on my behalf. 71m10: The C&P examiner said she had to follow a form on her computer. Was it a DBQ? It possibly was. If I didn't have a contract with a lawyer agreeing not to contact VA directly myself, I'd request a new C&P exam and ask if my SSDI is being taken into consideration. I have to have faith that the lawyer knows more about VA regulations than I do and will do what he has to do. He said he'd have to get back to me after I sent him 3 emails as I reacted to my service connection letter and my VA therapist telling me the c&p examiner checked the wrong box. The lawyer responded by asking me what the VA therapist said. Medical copays have been a bane for me and I truly resented VA garnishing my SSDI check for $50.00 each month. It was pretty cool to get $40.00 in travel reimbursement from VA when I had to go to the C&P exam. My daughter was a dependent while she was in school in 2006-2008 and could have qualified for educational benefits then and hopefully will get some benefits if I can get 100% service connection. Berta & John: I will get an IMO (independent medical opinion) if it's necessary. Spending the money for an IMO would be an investment I agree. My Timeline Filed for VA compensation March 7, 2006 Awarded SSDI for PTSD May 30, 2008 (connected back to 2005) I had the c&p exam on Dec 26, 2012 My SSDI check stopped being garnished on Jan. 3, 2013 I got the service connection letter on Jan 17, 2013
  4. I apologize for dramatizing. I'm lying if I say I want to kill the guy who lives with me. In reality, I just wish he'd move out or get his own place and leave me alone. It's an economic decision to live together, but he was homeless not me and yes, we do have some sick dynamics going on. I'm agoraphobic. He uses my vehicle. He lives in my house. He gets his mail here. He has tantrums. He stonewalls emotionally. He makes that look on his face when it comes down to who is 'crazy'. The man has never laid a hand on me. He gaslights instead.
  5. Bronco those are words of wisdom and I said, 'I'm stressed' when the c&p examiner asked me how I am. I don't even wanna think about when I have to ask for an increase and go back to a c&p exam. I'm service connected at 50% according to the letter that came a few days ago. It's a coincidence that I had a mental health appt on the same day as receiving the letter. I took it with me to show the counselor. The VA psychologist looked at the connection letter and also read the c&p report on his computer. He said the c&p examiner got it wrong under the occupational & social area. He said she should have checked another box. So now what do I do? Request another c&p exam? My attorney hasn't received a copy of the c&p exam or the service connection letter. All this happened very fast like within a week and a half. If I get another c&p exam, I will go into detail about my worst days. Thank you Bronco for reading the message through and commenting. It does seem like maybe I want an increase and I guess I do...I'd like to get an increase before VA closes my case like they said they are.
  6. My actual Occupational & Social Functioning: >I did not tell the c&p examiner that I was psycho about my daughter bringing a guy into my house in the night and I felt the only recourse I had was to remove my daughter's bed from her room and put it behind the garage, because she had the attitude she could do whatever she wants to do... >I didn't tell the c&p examiner that I really need sleeping pills, because I live with a guy I don't like so I go to bed at 4-5 am to avoid him and only go to bed when I can't stay awake. >I didn't tell the examiner I hate my neighbors for having a rooster that crows when I'm getting ready for bed and about the camp fires the neighbors have when they smoke their weed outside. The smell of skunk and trash smoke comes in my house and it makes me want to cook the rooster and set fire to my neighbors house. > I don't answer the phone and make sure the doors are locked and windows are too, I'd say I'm pretty damn hypervigilant. Hypervigilance exhausts me. The c&p conversation never went here. >If I told the examiner I feel homicidal when this guy who lives with me sneaks around and puts his arms around my waist as if we are a happy couple and nothing's wrong...I'd probably get a conditional VA check with a fidiciuary. So, the c&p examiner determined that I'm occupationally and socially impaired at the 50% level. My gaf was 46 I think. My VA therapist disagrees with the c&p examiner's determination. It's hard to try to be sane and not seem too suicidal or too homicidal and still avoid someone mistaking you as a troublemaker or a faker at a c&p exam. Now comes the hard part of knowing what to do next...how is my lawyer going to handle my VA therapist saying that the c&p examiner got it wrong.
  7. Thanks Carlie & John for responding and yes both of you are right and on track... My VA therapist I saw today told me the C&P examiner should have checked another box instead of the one she did. (He went through the C&P exam I had in Dec. on his screen and also had my copy of the SSOC I got today in front of him.) Occupational area of functioning was the category. One of the boxes were checked and the therapist told me it was the wrong one. Hopefully, my lawyer will request another DRO review and I'll possibly get a chance to see the VA psychiatrist next time for the next C&P exam. *VA is connecting me back to March 2006. Also, 'Thank you' Hadit members for being here for all these years! I read many other veteran's stories here and knew I wasn't alone in the PTSD boat.
  8. 7 years of fighting VA for mst/ptsd comp and they rated me at 50% even though I get SSDI for chronic ptsd and have for the past 8 years. I'm glad to be service connected, but cannot understand why I'm only at 50%? My gaf was 46 according to the c&p examiner.
  9. I used to use VA care a couple of years ago. They attached my SSDI check and take the money out to repay themselves each month. I think some of the meds I took were covered and some were not. Not sure how $8. copays could add up to $800. VA sends me a letter every month reminding me they are taking $50. from my check.
  10. I had no idea I'd be paying VA $50. each month whether I want to or not.
  11. I'm sure someone will come and answer your questions usafs, but I wanted to say I hope you get a new liver ASAP and of course your VA comp fast.
  12. I never thought about that. I could have PTSD because my brother almost drowned when he was 9 years old... Sounds like something a rater might conclude.
  13. >had second thoughts about this post after seeing it on google.
  14. edited after I saw post on Google and decided the info was too specific to my claim.
  15. :D I don't plan to miss the C&P, coz I waited too long for it.
  16. Hi all, I haven't visited Hadit in years. A SSOC denying my condition/s arrived last week and a C&P exam appoinment letter arrived the following day...
  17. Bronco didn't say that ALL veterans could not get an exam unless they were service connected. He said veterans could not get an exam unless they were already service connected. Hurray for veterans who were service connected in the 1980's and asked for increases and automatically got C&P exams. Sorry for veterans who were turned away for not meeting the requirements of a well-grounded claim in the 80's. My perception is that if you don't get a C&P exam in 2006-2009, it's an early sign your claim has already been denied by VA . Pilgrim is dealing with this issue possibly. I know I am. Just because I haven't had a C&P exam doesn't mean I won't ever have a C&P exam. Even if I sent a print out of the VCAA to VA, there's not a rat's chance that VA decision makers will offer me a C&P exam. Nope something else is in motion that prevents my claim from being developed and properly adjudicated. I have a lawyer to deal with it. Carlie did not say why she disagreed with Bronco. She provided text to read. Text is text. It's black & white and someone wrote it. Does it apply? I don't know. It never answered Pilgrim's question that I waited for an answer to since his question applied to me. Tolerance of viewpoints and enhancing knowledge is so much more friendly.
  18. Gender standards in our society are useless. Males should be respected too. The he-she preyed on you and that's sexual assault. Trust your feelings and instincts! File your PTSD claim. >When I was lost in a dissociative state, some members failed to understand me when I talked about my fear of alligators. I was expressing some trauma fears from a psychological weapon my abusive husband used to control me. Some members surely judged my claim as frivolous. Stockholm Syndrome is real. I'd rather have had a busted lip and black eyes than long term fears. I'm supportive of you filing a PTSD claim with VA for personal assault. Be sure to use the PTSD secondary to personal assault form.
  19. Yay, you finally won in spite of the obstacle courses that lackadaisical reps and overzealous raters placed either overtly or covertly in your path. You have honored Rod's last wishes, but also validated his sacrifices for the USA during the Vietnam war. What are you going to do with yourself now?
  20. Yay, you finally won in spite of the obstacle courses that lackadaisical reps and overzealous raters placed either overtly or covertly in your path. You have honored Rod's last wishes and validated his sacrifices for the USA during the Vietnam war. What are you going to do with yourself now?
  21. LR, Social Security has something called 'concurrent receipt' when a person is eligible for both SSDI & SSI, but a person eventually gets only one. SSDI is based on disability and length of time working and having enough credits for your age. My credits for age 45 was 20 I think. SSI is not based on working or jobs in the past or credits. It's for disabled people with no income and does not depend on previous income from working. I get SSDI with Medicare, but prefer SSI. My SSDI is $5.00 over the SSI amount. I cannot afford to pay the copays or deductible on Medicare. If I had Medicaid that comes with SSI, I could go to a doctor regularly. And Social Security sends food stamps automatically to some people on SSI. My brother gets SSI and a small VA death pension check. He also has Medicaid and gets some food stamps. He's doing better than I am. If I had your 40% VA comp...and having SSDI instead of SSI makes me eligible for the extra income, I could afford to go to a doctor. I have to go to the emergency room when there's a problem and I see a VA doctor once a year. My VA psychologist runs interference in helping me keep my prescriptions refilled at VA. I'm glad VA does not charge me a copay for medications, coz I'd have to go without otherwise. HUD pays 66% of my rent. Even if I was getting VA comp and SSDI, I'd possibly be eligible for housing assistance depending on the number of people living in the household and their income. In my happy fairy world, I could pay the rent myself and hold my head up when paying my copay at the doctor's office. HUD, FOOD STAMPS & SSI & VA Pension are all based on low income. Only VA Pension is based on wartime military service. It sucks living on any government program. Things could get worse. There are women and children and men and entire families living in motel rooms and tent cities and cars.
  22. Homelessness vs. HUD HUD budgets according to family composition and total income. They do consider outstanding medical bills that you have to pay. Also, sometimes they send a separate amount to supplement for your utilities if your income is very, very low. I started out on HUD with just me and my children. They grew up and now my brother and a friend live here and their incomes or lack of income are budgeted into my HUD. My special needs brother was homeless in Texas until one of my other brothers brought him here to my house. I used to pay $23.00 a month and now pay $245.00. Our composition is 3 people. We could get a 3 bedroom, but I have a problem budgeting for 3 people in a 2 bedroom when my utility company budget is $300. a month. HUD does not take the utility co. budget amount into consideration. Times are tough and you gotta do what you gotta do especially for your family. HUD prevents homelessness! If I'd known about Section 8 years ago, me and my kids would have never been homeless. We lived in my car and with anyone willing to let us stay with them.
  23. The fact that your claim triggered a C&P exam is a really good sign. I think that it means there's something in your Cfile that is considered evidence of your stressors. A C&P doctor can make the nexxus between your stressors and current disabilities. >My claim is 3 years old and I'm at square 1 with unverified stressors and no trigger at VA for a C&P exam. Cindy
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