garlicBreath

I feel like they are trying to drove me into a darker place. Well, congrats. I am so depressed I haven't stopped crying. I feel so stupid, my family is the ones who are suffering the most. I don't ever want to go back. I don't want to do anything.

First off I'm extremely enraged, so my thoughts may not be organized. I asked my dr to fill out a temp disability form for the state of CA. He looked at me and said He doesn't know what disabilities I am referring to, I've been seeing him since 2004. He then asked me why I think I'm disabled and why I quit my last job. I was dumb founded but answered none the less. Back and depression(short version-less tears). He said that when I saw him in October it was for fatigue, yeah fatigue from poor sleep from BACK PAIN. But there was no note of back pain from my visit, WTF. Anyways he than asks if I'm ok with being 35 and being on disability for the rest of my life. Tears began to flood out of my face. I told him that this is the last thing I want; but my request was for a temp disability. Fast forward to Friday, paper work not done, today I called and he is on vacation until next Monday. I feel completely betrayed and humiliated. I don't know what to do. He is simply a Pill pushing jerk off. You know, the dr who got all C's in college. I know I've dug my own hole by quitting my job, but I also believe that he has let me down. I now received a letter from the state telling me I only have until the 20th to turn in my docs, PCP is off til the 21st. I got ahold of his nurse and he said the form is still blank, even though Dr said he would fill it out. I want to choke this M$;&:"r F$;&:@/:r out!!! I'm in the middle of a claim for an increase and the last thing I need is this stress, he lied right to my face, how can I trust him or the system he represents. My resentment is beginning to fester fantasies of harming that puke. Does anyone out there have any suggestions. Thanks in advance Ck

What about the antidepressants/sleep pills?

I missed my very first appointment and they killed my claim. I didn't even know I had an appointment as I was basically transient at the time.

Dav, I know exactly what you mean about pain and moodiness. I feel like a piece of crap because I'm always snapping at them. It doesn't help that the pain meds make me sick. My choices are take pills and Puke all day, or don't take them and be a pr1ck.

I only take NSAIDs. I can barely take sudafed. Do I have to take these meds to keep my rating?

Best wishes sir

I would rather suffer with back pain than take these f-ing pills. They make me so suck and barely help. And they wonder why I'm so depressed. I can't get relief without resorting to MJ, what do I do?

I guess it went ok, dr asked why I didn't call for refill. What ever though. The MH people were awesome, they knew exactly what I was going through. She even expRessed that my rating should be higher and I probably won't be able to work. The one down side was walking out with four bottles of pills.

Objective, not subjective, I always confuse the two!!!

The SMR was in 99

I do have several MRI's dating back to my SMRs at NAS Jax. I had one in 04/5 and another in 2009. The most recent shows a narrowing lateral recess with broad based collapse of L4-l5. It also says no "significant" stenosis seen. I also did a nerve conduction study and it also showed the nerve damage. Both highly objective evidence, not taken into consideration.

I ask because mine acts like my back flares up a little now and then. When I told him I plan to apply for disability, he said there is nothing in my file to support that. Really? Does the VrO not share info with the dr, or is it my responsibility to let him know EVERYTHING. I just don't get it. Anyway, I'll be at his walk in tomorrow. Should I bring all my files with me? I even found my PEB/MEB notices from 1999...

Thank you guys, I last saw my PCP in October. Made an appointment the other day, Fresno VA can get me in on the 21st. Keep you posted.

This is my 3rd job in 5 years. I'm pretty sure my mental disorder is 50, not the thirty that I'm rated at. My voc councilor changed 6 times and I'm pretty sure none of them took into account my depression. I failed to make any social connections during four years of school, nor did I when working. I tried on several attempts to contact my VRE councilor and open a dialogue about my work issues. He always sent back generic emails. I kind of deep overlooked. I just applied for SSDI and that brought me to tears, I'm only 35 but my back has been shot since I was 20. I'm always sad and now confused. Any advice would help. Peace Ck