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About Jaymega1

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    E-2 Recruit

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  1. Hi. New here. I found this site while looking up some info regarding my recent exam. I have a few questions I would like to ask of anyone who cares to read. I just had my C&P. Almost missed it since my car took a dump on me. Thank god since now I know it is basically mandatory. I took the test for Tinnitus among others but i am mainly concerned with PTSD. I don't have any paperwork I can show and I am curious how long I must wait until i can get a copy of what the psychologist typed down? It's been like 2 days now. Regarding the exam, I have an issue where I tend to just get used to things and feel like it is normal. Example... 90% of my dreams involve someone trying to kill me. I just got used to it and when i wake up sweating, i am just like "Cool, I'm not dead." It's been about 3 years since I left service and I never bothered to even think about compensation because I felt as though it was pointless. The reason I say this is because that mindset influenced how I dealt with the reviewer. Not gonna lie, i sugar coated a lot of my responses. Even still, I look back after reading some of these other folks C&P posts and I see that my responses were still rather saddening. I didn't even really think about how bad I was. And remember, these are the sugar coated responses. Here is a random selection of my answers. I don't recall the exact questions. I never had a relationship actually last longer than 30 days. I got upset at my sister who I am very close with and stopped communicating for what i felt was a month. She says it was 3 months in reality. Just last week I found myself thinking that if things got real bad I can just off myself. I quickly had to correct my thinking. I told myself that if I ever decide to I will at least call my sis and give 30 minutes notice first so she can respond. I find myself getting a little depressed and I tend to not have the energy to even follow through with an appointment. I always say I'll do it later or reschedule. I don't have any friends in the state really. I am friends with my vet buds and we talk on facebook from time to time. I stay inside. I write or play games. No I don't think of military stuff. I purposely put an effort to think of other things. Now that I look back I see a rather sad picture. I feel "fine" but that is apparently only due to the fact that I am so used to feeling like I do. My sister is very worried about me and doesn't even want me to get a gun because she feels I will kill myself. I want to say no, but when I get depressed and worried, it gets REALLY bad. My question here is what do you think about the general vibe of my responses? The reviewer seemed very interested and we were actually running out of time since I apparently wasted time trying to put a positive spin and explain crap like a moron. I feel she saw through my positive spin on things (thankfully). I just don't feel comfortable admitting I am suffering. i feel like I am cheating or I am some kind of scumbag. I mean, several of my friends are dead so what right do I have to complain right? Anyways, About that. I know I should get some rating at least. I am just not sure how much. I have been deployed 4 times and I am 28 years old now. That's life in the 101 (lol). She stopped me after my second tour when i was explaining my experiences. After I explained the first major incident where I saw what was left of someone I was just speaking to, she probably had heard enough. Plus the many MANY IED blasts I have been in (too close) proximity of. I am just wondering, How does that affect my claim? Would I be able to use future experiences in the other two deployments if I want to try for a higher rating? If anyone is curious. I really cool NCO I rather liked was killed by an IED and it was very bad. I learned that day that the dark spots on the side of the HMMWV's were a mix of dirt and blood...My buddy that got out before me has a 100% rating and I am 100% sure his PTSD stems from the same incident since he was my gunner. Another thing I am curious of is how college affects my possible rating. I don't work. I did have a job for like 2 weeks but I just stopped going to work one day. I lied and said I was never employed like a moron because I was being stupid and worrying about faking issues to try and get a high rating. Seriously, what is wrong with me? Anyways, I go to school and it is the beginning of my third year. I explained that my GPA was a 3.68 but after this last year it is now a 2.2. I just lost steam and I barely feel like getting out of bed most days. I am shocked I managed to pull off some C's. Like I said, my buddy has a 100% rating and I was with him during some bad times. Then i went on to experience more bad times, carrying body bags and placing what was left of poor guys in orange plastic baggies. Again, not trying to make people like "poor you". I was lucky so in my book I owe those guys for their sacrifice. So that's about it. I also have a Tinnitus claim from mortars too. I will post whatever the psychologist wrote down when I get it. For now I kinda want a rough guesstimate from others who have been through this. i am flying blind here so for all I know I could get nothing except a prescription for Ibuprofen (you guys know where I'm coming from ) or I could get 100%. Oh, I need to start seeing my therapist again (VA appointed). talking really helped me out. She (and others) say that I have Anxiety and PTSD but since I handle it well they will not prescribe meds unless i ask. I am thinking of asking for sleep aids for my insomnia. Something you can't OD on.
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