I joined in November 2005. I was given a slew of vaccines in Basic. When I got to my first unit, I received my "pre-deployment" vaccines which included smallpox. I had a terrible reaction to the smallpox, resulting in MULTIPLE peritonsillar abscesses and tonsillar surgical intervention. Whole body ached, joints, everything. Anthrax vaccine was, at this point, "voluntary." Deployed 2006-2007.
Deployed again in Iraq 2008, "Anthrax" vaccine was now made by the DoD to be "MANDATORY" (y'know, 'cause of all the anthrax related deaths over the years) and I was threatened by my leadership, after I refused to take it, with the usual "general order #1, you're our property. If you don't take this, you'll just go to jail." Which in hindsight, would've been a much better alternative. A few years in jail or a lifetime of disability? Mid-tour, I develop chronic inflammation. Wrists won't work to do pushups, costochondritis in my chest so bad that I could hardly use my left arm and literally felt my ribs grinding on my sternum.
Late 2008 deployment, we get a new "SNIFFABLE" flu-shot. I refused again. I get told the same "get stuck or go to jail" shpeel. I am less than 1 year from getting out, so I take it. I develop whole-body stiffness and tension. I have never before felt such pain and agony in my body. I could hardly put my boots on my feet I had such intense pain. This lasted for about 8-9 days, gradually lessening in intensity, however, I am never the same physically. Before this deployment, I never had an ache or pain in my body. I never knew what "knee pain" was or would wake up every morning with my arms numb and tingling.
After I got out, I made so many excuses for my failing health. I was only 22, so of course, I thought I could "get better" by listening to my doctors and doing things that would help me. I had knee pain, wrist pain, shoulder pain, hip pain.. feet were so tender I simply cannot walk more than 2 minutes on my bare feet. Physical therapy didn't work. The more I did, the more tired I would become. I would work on my car, lets say, replacing a starter.. only to be left completely debilitated for the next 2-3 days.. couldn't use my hands properly because they were so "sore" and "weak". I constantly had to tell my young wife that I couldn't do things because I was tired, sore, and weak. The weakness is the absolute worst I think. Pain sucks, but being physically unable to hold a wrench without my hand "giving out" or being able to lift something because my muscles just won't work right is a huge huge problem for me. Mowing the lawn cripples me. I just turned 30 last month.
I am close to being 100%, but the closer I get, the more "real" being disabled becomes. I am 30. I still have dreams of what I want to be "when I grow up" y'know? But really, my life is symptom management. I probably will never be able to own a boat or go on a family vacation to Hawaii and go surf with my boys on such a low fixed-income. It doesn't matter that it's tax free and all that garbage. I never wanted to be on benefits, and I still don't. I would much rather be PHYSICALLY ABLE. What good is money if you can't enjoy it? Even if I had 300 million, it wouldn't change my damaged physiology. I wanted to be a role model for my children and family, not living a cursed life.