RedHeadStepChild

I apologize in advance, this is more than just the bare facts. I am sad today and need to get this off my shoulders. I have been out of the Army since the end of August 2007. I was on the TDRL list because at one point I was so depressed I told the SSG I reported to that I dreamed of crashing my car into a specific tree every day on the way to work.I had previously been diagnosed with Major Depressive Disorder at a previous duty station but because I had orders to Korea and my MOS, 15Q, would not allow me to take the needed medications my treatment fell by the wayside. By the time that I became severely depressed, where I had been a star performer I was now the black sheep. I ended up being hospitalized with suicidal ideations and attempts 3 time in 5 months. I also was in partial hospitalization several times and weekly therapy. All of this was in my service records I believe since they paid for everything. I was also hospitalized for something neurological, I had what I believed was a seizure but was aware. Because of my mental health diagnosis I never got a clear answer on what the final diagnosis was on that episode, although they did a spinal tap for MS but that came back inconclusive. Did I mention not one member of my chain of command came to see me on any of my hospitalization and the whole company knew my personal medical business because they passed down contacting the hospitals to someone as the same rank as me? I'm still bitter about how I was treated. Life was bad for me and honestly extremely fuzzy at that time. I went to a VA a couple hours away for my physical and waited on my determination. I got a letter about 3 or 4 months later saying that they lost my original mental exam and were scheduling me for another one. Over a year after I got out I started seeing a therapist at the local VA. She did not inform me but a day that I was having a good day is the day that she wrote up my formal exam. Mind you, I had already been determined to be disabled by the Social Security Administration and had a 30 percent rating by the Army. I didn't fight them because I did not have energy. When I received my rating from the VA it said that my original rating had been 50 percent, which is the minimum that they give you if your mental disorder is bad enough to warrant a discharge, but because of the way she wrote it up it was downgraded to 30 percent. I was not in my right mind to file an appeal and I didn't have anyone advocating for me. I ended up in the hospital with another suicide attempt sometime after I received that rating. I was very depressed, on a lot of medicines and under a boatload of stress so I could not adequately follow up. Under the rating system, with my inability to function and suicidal ideations, as well as my inability to keep personal relationships and my issues with impulse control I should have been awarded at the minimum a 70 percent disability and they had all the evidence to substantiate it because all of my records should have been included when they got the records from the Army. In these past 7 years I have been unable to hold a job for any length of time without being rehospitalized or on the verge of it. I've become a shell of the person that I was before I enlisted and I can't find her. I've been homeless and I've become irresponsible. Even though I am in treatment my life is still a mess and some days I just hate it and me. I say all this to say, is it possible that I may have a CUE due to the incompetence of the rater who gave me the 30 percent even though the evidence said I was eligible for more?