MentalHealth

Just got back from my new choice psychologist and I think It was interesting to say the least. He wants me to admit myself. I probably need to but can't get over going there over Christmas (three kids). I'm going to try and make it until then. I can manage the pain with cannabis until then.

It all started about 18 months ago. I started having severe mental conditions to include suicidal thoughts. I eventually took myself to the ER in Biloxi and they admitted me. Mind you I had told my healthcare professionals about my issues 20 times before and they never admitted me. In fact what set the whole thing off was that I got fed up and paid for a private psychiatrist. The private psychiatrist said she would'nt even consider talking to me in the condition I was in and said she could get me a bed in town to get stabilized.Fast forward to August 5 2015. I re injured my back at work which I am service connected for and I went in to see my PCM and he looked at me and said "how bout some tramadole and PT". I told him no PT and he suggested an MRI to see what's going on. It took 6weeks to get the MRI approximately and this is where it starts to get interesting. The tramadole hurt my stomach so I resorted to living with it until I met with my VA mental health counselor one day. I explained that I was having mental health problems again and felt I needed some help. She said " have you ever tried marijuana"? I replied "even if I have I don't want that in my medical records". Then she said "well hypothetically if you wanted to get some could you"? I replied back to her "well I'm sure I could". Then she said "well it may help you". I left there pondering the idea and thought I wonder if it would fix my problems. A week or two went by and I was extremely anxious and having a rough time and finally decided to smoke some. It was Extremely helpful. It helped with pain anxiety and helped me sleep. Things were good on the marijuana for a couple months or two as I awaited the MRI results to come back. At this point I didn't need it everyday, just for breakthrough issues. Then the MRI result came back and I had four crushed disc which I had two from the military and now it was way worse. I immediately set up an appointment with my VSO and awaited a call. I went in to file for an increase and asked her if she had heard from other vets about there healthcare professionals recommending marijuana. She was as shocked as I was and assured me she hadn't heard that, however she had heard about alternative methods of pain reduction being more available. The nurse called me and told me to come in for labs so that I could see the DOC, she said "the will be a drug screen," I simply replied "ok". I had an appointment the next week with my VA mental health counselor. I put the labs off until I saw my mental health counselor, enduring the pain at work the best I could and using marijuana at night to ease it. When I showed up to see her I asked her what I should do about the drug test and she said "well use someone else's piss and just make sure it's warm". I looked at her in an appalling way and said "are you serious". She then went on to tell me that people do it all the time and that she used to work in the judicial side and that criminals were really really good at it. So I left there pondering again what to do. Please understand that I also have a severe mental health condition that sometimes doesn't allow me to make good decisions as it is already.I'm ready for lab day and I picked up some product called quick fix from someone I knew and took it in to the lab, and sure enough it worked. i went in to see my PCM the next day and he asked me if I want Oxy and I replied "not really". He then said there wasn't a whole lot else he could do and to wait and see what the surgeon says. I then conceded. Mind you I have one friend in jail right now because of Oxy and another one who has a very serious problem with them. I asked him for enough to get me to the surgeon and let's see what he has to say. The surgeon said you need to go to pain managent, I asked him "for pills or for shots"? He replied "shots. I was happy about this because I don't want to be on pills long term.i took the pain medicine during the day and not at night because I didn't need it and it kept me awake. It allowed me to get to work. This is huge because I'm about out of leave and about to be on LWOP, which is crushing me. I'm low on money and have three kids and about to be out of work. Then I called in for a refill and the nurse said she would call me back and never did. The next day was Veterans Day and still no call back, then I called in on Thursday and said "what's up" the nurse told me since I waited until 1300 to call in I wouldn't get a refill today. I lost it, and drove over ther after she told me I needed to call my congressman or talk to the patient advocate. I went over there and talked to my mental health professional (the marijuana lady) and miracously a 7 day prescription showed up at the pharmacy for me. Im about out of meds again so I call in and don't get a call back until day's later. When the nurse called me back I asked who it was and she stated her name. I realized it was the same nurse that hadn't called me back over Veterans Day. I was in bed at the time hurting like hell and I told her to "go f herself" (bad decision). Days went by and I ran out of meds right around thanksgiving and had to suffer with some withdraws while my family spent the day worrying about me. I don't live next to family mind you. so I only see my mother and father once maybe twice a year. Moday rolls around and I am hurting like crazy and I had checked myhealthyvet to see what they had wrote up. I can't work so I finally just decided to go in there and tell the nurse everything that i just typed up. She acted surprised that my MHC would tell me that and noted that she's a professional and should know better. She insisted she would smooth things over and that i did the right thing. I went and talked to the nurse and she told me to go give a urinalysis and when it gets back they will help me. So I went home with nothing that day.Tuesday I woke up and was in severe pain, however I had to go to work. I made it in and hadn't slept in four nights. My wife said it had been more like 14 nights to a friend of mine. After lunch I couldn't take it anymore and went back over to the VA. I told the nurse that at my lunch I had went to a place down by the water to set and try to relax and instead of relaxing I started having suicidal thoughts about wanting to put a gun in my mouth and blow my head off. I then went back in to work and was in so much pain I couldn't get in and out of the truck. I then told my partner to drop me off at my car and I drove straight over to the VA. Then she called in the psychiatrist who asked me why I wanted to go inpatient. He explained that they don't like opiates either and they wouldn't help me. I then said well can I use my private insurance and go to the ER? He replied to me, "if you go to any other provider and they prescribe you meds, we will cut off ALL YOUR MEDS"! Then he told the nurse to go ask the PCM if he would even prescribe a pain killer since I tested positive for cannabis. Mind you that I had never SIGNED A PAIN CONTRACT.The nurse came back in the room and told me that he wouldn't prescribe me a pain medication other then this because of the cannabis. She handed me a script and it was for a ibeprofun alternative, I started crying my eyes out and she asked what it was that I wanted her to do. I had remembered that years ago I tried Lyrica and she looked it up and got the doctor to give me that. It's at the current dosage not effective enough. It took a 9 pain to a 6 which is not getting me back to work. Today I looked on myhealthy vet and noticed that the nurse had put all the stuff about the cannabis usage in my records, but put that I was referred to it by a TRUSTED INDIVIDUAL. I am absolutely pissed because now my records look like my wife or friend told me to use it, and not that MSM Susan Mkinish at the VA hospital at Eglin AFB FL said it.I am looking for a solution and a name of who to call or email to get help. I have to get my pain under control or I'm not going to keep on living. My wife called the nurse yesterday and they never called her back. My best friend came to my house yesterday and took all my firearms and drove me to a doctors appointment that I had under the choice program. The people around me are trying to help me but they can't do it. A friend of mine offered to give me some of his meds but I refused and told him that I would die before I do that. This is the VA's problem and they need to step up and help me and my family. Please help me if you can.

i guess, we'll find out in a couple weeks. Everyone being examined was given the test.

I talked to my coworker and he said the test was mmi2 something Minnesota. He was there for a PTSD reevaluation and I was there for a MDD increase and we were both given this test and also evaluated the exact same way. I found this to be strange. I still haven't got the report, however, I feel like something wasn't right.

I had my C&P today and it was very odd in my opinion. The first thing they did was make me fill out a 380? Questionerre. Then i had a quick set down and I was rushed out of the office I asked the doctor if he wanted to see my leave balance considering I have used over 300 hrs since the first of the year on my dissability at the order of VA physchologist, he simply replyed "no I believe you" then wisked me out. I don't have a good feeling about it. I have never felt so rushed during a c&p. Luck would have it that a fellow coworker was there and I called him after my exam and he felt the same way. He was there for a 5 year revaluation. I had to do a questionerre when I had a revaluation years ago however he and I were treated the same and I was there for and increase. Has anyone ever had to fill out a 380? for an increase c&p for mental health?

HOLY! Yeah John999. You and I need to talk off line. I am actually in the exact same position you used to be in. I need some advice brother. I am also a steward and have kept impecable records. I had a case go real bad back in June. Like as in National Office and U.S Senator getting involved stressful. I'm going to shoot you a P.M.

Just got out of the ward. This disease is a SOB. My Job causes me so much stress that it makes it 10X worse then it needs to be. I'm only 10% for MDD and let me tell you I think i'm getting F'ed. I was told this is a lifelong illness from the VA Doc and that I need to ensure that I take my medicine on time everyday. I have file for an increase so we'll see what happens. I guess you can't see the notes from the the Doc's when your inpatient on blue button either? I appreciate you guy's help thus far.

I know there was a topic about this issue in 2008. However, there really was no final synopsis as to how this affected the individuals rating. It took me seven months to finally put in for an increase (what a dumb ass) better late then never though, I guess. However, now the Physcologist thinks it's Bipolar II rather than MDD and he has changed it in the Medical Records. MY rating from the VA is 10% MDD. Which I can tell you is without a doubt going to be raised considering my life has litterly crashed and burned. I've been in and out of the ER on the Crisis LIne and essentially feel at times I'm loosing my mind. The one thing I have retained through this who oredeal is my ability to still write. I have no idea why but I find myself behind this keyboard Alot. Typing journal logs about my days for some reason it helps to ease the anxiety and help me focus on what it is that i need to be focused on. When it comes to C&P, how is this new diagnosis going to affect me? I went from having MDD as the diagnosis and symptoms for 6months straight to all the sudden having a diagnosis of Bipolar II. I appreciate all the advice ahead of time. Some of you on here are a wealth of information and I feel honored to obtain it from you. Thanks Again Mental