Andyman73

I know Dad was with tanks at Bad Hersfeld. For his second 12 of 24 years he was FDC for FA. He was with the 8" M109 Paladins...can't remember what unit he was with. I know one was the 17 FA, but whether or not that was Fort Sill, or Augsburg, or NTC Fort Irwin...I just don't remember. His final assignment was at NTC Ft Irwin, as acting brigage SgtMaj for then Col. Clark..the same who tried to run for pres. in 2004. Yeah,...baggage...good word.. yeah.

@MKAH If okay, may I ask where in Germany you were stationed? As an Army Brat, I lived in Bad Hersfeld in the mid late 70s, which is near the Fulda Gap. And then again in the mid late 80's in Augsburg. We dependents arrived in January of '86, just in time for Chernobyl. And Challenger. Came back stateside in May of '89, a few weeks before the Wall came down. I'm sorry you suffered MST... Andrew

@ArNG11, nah, joke was fine. My PTSD due to MST will finish long before that. He the psych eval for that last Wednesday. Doc said "definitely PTSD" said "more than enough evidence here and with my therapist's notes." So now we wait. Good to see you again, my friend. Andy

Self interest and interest in the hand that feeds it. Nearly 2 years ago I had DAV as my VSO of record. They told the VA to deny my claims, and in fact sent me a letter on official VA letterhead stating they recommend the VA deny my claims. Now here is the kicker, they had not seen the results of the C&P exams. They hadn't even made it to the VARO. I called the benefits counselor at my VAMC, he told me that the exam results hadn't been sent to the VARO by the date of the letter from the DAV!!! Their letter was dated 12/15/15, and the exam results weren't sent out till 12/21/15. It took nearly a year, 4-5 complaints via IRIS and 2 emails to the Sec. of VA before they were finally removed from record.

Tready lightly there...some are in if for themselves. But that was just my experience.

@Markg623 Welcome to Hadit. Glad you found it. I'm in a slightly similar boat...just yesterday I had an eval with an outside contractor.for PTSD due to MST. He did tell me that I do have PTSD. That was basically it. I hope and pray you get yours! I'm a few years younger, my MST took place in the fall of '94. Memories were suppressed until this past January. All the best to you, Mark. Andyman

@Onemanarmy I wish you all the best with this! I had an exam yesterday afternoon for my PTSD due to MST.

Oh my. That would be a good police report to have on hand. Glad he was court martialed! Hope they put him away for a really long time! Andy

I'm proud of you for talking about it. I don't know if I mentioned it to you, but there is an online survivor's community similar to Hadit.com. It's called Pandora's Aquarium. I would highly recommend you checking it out. There are tens of thousands of survivors on there from around the world. If you can imagine it, someone there has been through it. And more than a few have said that it is the only one they found where there is absolutely no victim shaming. And the age range is teen to senior citizen. This goes for you too @L. And since that community is strictly anonymous, it's much easier to talk about your experiences and everything. Do yourself a favor and check it out. Even if you chose not to join, check it out, okay? Andy

I am so proud of you for ordering a copy of that police report! A long time friend from H.S. was drugged and sodomized by his roommate...in a twisted and evil way he made out...the damage was quite extensive. He spent months in the hospital after many surgeries to repair the damage and save his life. He is P&T 100% due to ptsd and the physical damage. He was found unconscious and bleeding to death, no need to pretend to be gay/straight, and no systemic victimization. And the blood tox came back with the drugs his roomie had used on him. Again, well done Michigander! Semper Fi

Gastone, I have no clue. As for the male predator, he literally pulled chocks and disappeared under cover of darkness, once the law began sniffing around due to claims of him messing with teens/kids. And the drunk female sailor...no of course not. Man....I could not speak up about any of this. To speak up as a male Marine was to sign my own death warrant. After he threatened to kill me, and falsely out me as gay....I knew I wouldn't survive either way. I chose life over death...even though I tried to take it myself 7 times. IF the VA victimizes me again.....I will be gone...my mind and spirit will be shattered beyond repair.....

I wish you all the best, @Michigander @L, I wish I had police reports and such....but I don't. I couldn't, the risk to my life was far greater than the reward ever would have been.

Sorry it took a few days to get back to you. Ever since my memories have come back...my life has been a non-stop maelstrom. I have finally admitted to myself that on top of everything else, I am a victim of domestic violence, of 18 plus years from my wife. Okay, this is still relatively fresh in my mind. I used the PTSD form that states for personal trauma, I think. Or something like that. I have such a crappy memory. So, specifically you will file for ptsd due to MST. The specific effects, depression and anxiety will be documented during the C&P exam. If you are already being treated by a VA MH specialist, that will make it a little easier. The claim will ask you to write about an incident, or like for combat, a 2 month time frame that was the worst of it. And you don't have to give the gory details at that point, save that for the actual exam. But you will need to give enough info so they can tell it's legitimate. And if you have police reports and such, that makes it so easy to pin down. I didn't so I used a generalization of the times...like September 1994, since I was car shopping and that was very much a part of what happened to me. Do not give specific dates if there is no corroborating documentation!!! They will be suspicious otherwise. If you haven't, and you have an ebenifits account on VA.gov, you can file an intent to file, which will give you a one year window to finalize your initial claim paperwork, while locking in the earliest filing date, which will be the start date for compensation once you are granted SCD. AS for the MST marker on your file...these days its all digital, so your primary care dr may not see it at all. I just had an appointment with my primary, yesterday, and he didn't even mention it at all. Didn't say anything that made me think he even knew anything. And I have been seeing him since 2005. Please, if you want a little more privacy to talk about this, use the pm feature and send me a private message. I am more than willing and happy to talk about this with you. It's a very scary thing to go it alone. I am here for you, okay? Andy

I had 5-6 entries in my SMR in regards to that, between the medical and dental side. The VARO informed me that it was a symptom of stress, since there was no DX made while on active duty. So they will end up eating their own words on that one. But all I can do is hope.

Thanks, Buck. I do have my C-file up to June 2015. But it's the timeframe since then that I need. Nonetheless...forward progress must be maintained. I'd like to check out that FB, but wife forced me off years ago. And I'm not willing to risk her finding out I got back on. My current T at my VAMC is now aware of the MST and we've started dealing with that. So...we'll see where that takes me. Thanks again, Buck.

Michigander, I am so very sorry. The Police report is more than enough to get that ball rolling. File that claim. You can contact a VA MST coordinator, via the va.gov home page...there is a link or two to follow that gets you there. That's what I did. I'm only in the starting stages of my claim. I have no official reports or documentation. Being a man....well....cutting my own throat by reporting those 4 incidents...would have been career suicide. Never mind what ever else I would have gotten...victimized and criminalized by the UCMJ and the Marines to start... Andyman

Okay, got my heart stashed back in the dungeon, and my brain back out of the box. I requested my c-file 05/16...so...still waiting. I sent a few IRIS inquiry's and complaints about not getting it. I guess it's my fault, I just assumed the lawyers would be interested before being denied. Or in appeals...my fault. I will give Ms. Cantrell another chance. Thanks again.

@Buck52, @Gastone Thanks guys for both of your replies. I wish I had something useful to say. I wish I could show you inside my head. I wish I could show you my first sa at age 5. And how it took over 5 years for the physical pain to go away. Or how it triggered my mom into attempting to beat the flesh off my backside for 6 years, 3-4 times a week. Or the point of a switchblade in my throat at age 7. Or the final beating with a 36inch long switch that my brother and I had to cut off the tree in our backyard. Or any of the physical assaults in my teens, or sexual assaults. Or any of the 4 while in the Marines...or the 20 years of domestic violence at the hands of my wife. I wish I could show you what it's like to get caught attempting suicide at work, while in the Marines, to have that completely ignored and brushed off. Or what it was like to be groomed and sexually assaulted by a male predator...while in the Marines. Knowing that reporting it would get me labeled as gay and screwed by the machine. Or the drunken female sailor in Spain. Who tackled me and sexually assaulted me. Knowing full well that the sober male Marine would have been seen as the perpetrator and not the drunken female sailor. I wish I wish I wish....And I can only talk about the things that happened during my 6 year enlistment....otherwise I'd be out on my bum with no hope of ptsd due to mst claim at all. I wish....

@sunnyh Let me ask you this...what would we be feeling if we felt nothing at the same time??? Okay..dumb joke... Time...yeah...21 years since the last time it happened. My therapist seems to think what I'm going through is real enough. But we know that don't mean bupkis if the VARO says "F-you!" They been telling me that a lot.. It's okay if you talk in circles...dehumanized...yeah. Sounds about right. I do remember how I felt when I got caught trying to stop my pain, and got no help at all. Felt invisible, ignored, worthless... I've felt nothing for a long time. Now I feel hurt, angry, lost, depressed, anxious, like a dog gone emotional smoothie!

Buck, I've checked with 6 different Law firms...and NOVA...they all want to help...after I get denied...even in the appeals stage. As for Ms Cantrell....after a few tries...she must not be for me. And I'm okay with that. It's just easier that way Buck. I have to stop caring about this. It only hurts when I care. And I am so very very tired of hurting. Seems every time I make any forward progress, something comes up that sets me back 3-4 steps.

Gastone, I will do that. I know that I've got some serious memory issues, as tested by the neuro-psych team at my VAMC. And some other things...from what I recall the last time I checked the ratings, I'm a lock for 50%, and if they actually follow the letter of the law, a 70%. But I won't hope for anything. Then I won't be too disappointed if the VA does me like they have been. And if anything good comes, I'll be blown away. Semper Fi

Gastone...I figured that, but you didn't have to say it out loud! Lol. But let me ask you a question...I filed a claim for jaw pain, it came back from the VARO as denied...but...as a symptom of something else in MH arena. They said it could be granted as secondary to ....what ever, if and when "what ever" becomes SCD. So then, would that be one that would fly as secondary to the ptsd? Also if the sleep apnea was dx by private dr, would that still fly? As always, I appreciate your thoughts and opinions. Andy Semper Fi

Well Buck, That's all fine and dandy, I can get my sleep apnea and hypertension, and gastro all tied into that...if and only if they grant my mst/ptsd claim. Thank you for posting that link. I looked at it. I am at the verge of throwing it all in the trash. Only bright spot, went to rehab dr for my back, at the VAMC. Told him about what that pa did and wrote at my exam back in december, how she wrote degrees measured with out even using the goniometer. And that her opinion is being given more weight than the full blown dr who did the exam that got me the 40% for my back a few years ago. HE got out his goniometer, measured and said ain't no way! These measurements are are worse than the exam in 15, not better. Said he is going to write up in his notes an overview of all that we've done and worked through since that 15 exam. Andy

@sunnyh Well, if I lie and say I'm doing better, would you believe me? I appreciate you stopping by to say hi. At this point, not sure I want help, anymore. If the VA doesn't see it, why should I. Sorry, you didn't come over for that. I'm sorry.

Thanks, man. I appreciate it. I hope to survive with a scd granted instead of denial, tho. You know what I'm sayin?