Papawolfie

Im sorry Pete. I just wanted to come back on here and say that. Take care brother blood. Again I am sorry for offending you in any way that I had. Take care all.

This was more said that was mean BYE

You know what I said a lot of shit a few min ago. all I got to say is how dare you judge me. Period. I have 5 years of documentation of my suffering wanting to kill myself acutally screw this I needed help and your giving terrible help just alone in your judgemental persona. Have a good life. BYE.

I wanted to answer earlier on my phone but i didn't have the patience, almost felt claustrophobic. Rodger that Chief, but its so difficult to get to see my primary care provider i caught him eating one day at the food court and i mustered up all the courage and set my anxiety aside and bothered him. (when i was a boy i was throwing up and in incredible pain and was crying. My mom had to work the next day and it was 6 am when my mom had to wake up to go work she came in and saw puke everywhere cause i couldn't get up out of bed. She rushed me to the hospital and asked why i didn't wake her up i told her i didn't wana bother her, i ended up having meningitis of the viral type. i was told i almost died) that's how much i hate bothering people Chief, i still have that same mentality today. I asked him a simple question, "when would i be able to ever make another appointment with him" he said next month November time and that 160 day out thing to start my claims yeah idk. Im not trying to make excuses Chief. Not in the least. I most deffinately will get my records! Haha not laughing at you just been hearing that non stop the last 3 days haha but its so true. Yea i understand theres not guarantee... would be a wonderful blessing though I mean yea yay free moneys. But that way i can chase my dream of being a dog trainer as a side job to keep me busy and as a therapy too. Dogs really make me happy and when my dads dog is with me i feel such a weight off my shoulders. Would you think that would be a violation of the no working thing? I detest lying and i feel me working even though its a therapy for dog training could possibly be illegal. Its not good money in the least i hear. It is more of a passion type of ordeal. But if would be illegal than nevermind ill drop that though post haste. So in addition to the VA disability i can file for SSDI? And that incompetency thing you stated, what would they do? Just write my apts and such checks themselves to the business'? I wana thank you for your time to helping me understand everything. It really is wonderful of you.

Hello, Andy! I actually have something called "Soldiers for Life." Lame name but i believe its the same concept? Good friend of mine is a Marine believe he spoke about it briefly as he is getting out too. Ok! I know this is a very hard question to answer but do you know how long it usually takes to request your records from the hospital? That would be a wonderful blessing Mr. Andy! And would take alot of anxiety off of me pressing down on my chest...so hard to breath sometimes. Oh, wow so... i may be speaking absolute nonsense here. But does the Army give you something and the va give you something as well? And yes!!! I really do truely feel blessed for finding this site and having such wonderful people being so sweet to me, total strangers, i actually dont feel like im being judged by yall. It feels wonderful... And thank you for your service Andy very very much. You may hear that a lot or may not like being thanked.. I know I don't. But from a soon to be Vet to a Vet. I greatly appreciate it. Hello Bluevet, Yea, I had done that cought syrup thing got into ASAP, it helped with that. Then about a year later I had gotten a DUI before deployment. I was "such an asset" for the tank mechanic community in my battalion, and I was blessed by God to have been given such a great team leader who stuck his neck out for me. I was allowed a second chance (3 medals later) Im being begged to stay in still. BUT that enough boasting haha.... :/ ANYwho but yea... are you sure? I was asked by my "quack" if I felt that it contributed to the hallucinations and auditory hallucinations I have.... I don't lie... I told him I don't know... asked if I smoked weed before the army... told him I did only once and that I didn't like it because it made me feel lazy. By Gods grace I don't drink anymore, or do anything silly like cough syrup, I only smoke cigarettes still. I saw him writing stuff down.. now I feel like I should have lied..... im sacred they will look at it and be like no you are denied service connection. However I did lie.... I told them that I didn't have these issues before the army... I mean I didn't have the hallucinations and such but I did have the depression HOWEVER I didn't have anxiety and its terrible I hate this thing its hard to bare with anywho! Yes I shall keep that advice to heart. I wont hold to their diagnosis'. I was actually looking at that the other day! I feel bad for this but I feel like I deserve the 100% but I also feel like the one right below that fits me too. People think im being (forgive me language) an xxxxxxx when I speak to them. But the truth is I get nervous and scared to speak to them... im really sweet and gentle but idk im just very timid now and I did know it till the other day, the lady though I was "...being an xxxxxxx." I was offended I mustered up, "I just have social anxiety." And after that she was very motherly and sweet. I had no idea I seemed mean. And now im nervous some guy one day will think im being a jerk and try to pick a fight with me because of that, and I will have to send him to the hospital for a misunderstanding... How do they determine GAFs? When I was a child I saw a man get killed by an elephant in August of '94 at a circus in Hawaii by "Tyke the Elephant" on youtube if yall wana see it. Ive never seen combat I was just sent to Kuwait for deployment and worked 17 hour days in the hot blistering sun and slept 4-5 hours a night with an hour to shower and relax. Sunday my team and I slept all day. BUT i feel like a wimp saying this but that was traumatizing in itself... Why i LOVE working now. I get depressed otherwise and im con leave for my surgery and im going crazy. haha Thank you Bluevet really take your wish of luck to heart :) Hello Madam Berta! :) I shall not leave the Army without my records i promise! I am i belive pebbed out... if that's the same as getting out on ETS date... not very good with lingo... never really was ever.... all these slang terms my generation and these kids use now-a-days so confusing haha Yeah, it will take me a while to be able to do that... my father came to visit because he was worried about me, i slept at his hotel and it was different and strange and i felt like cameras were watching me all night so i couldn't get a wink of sleep... i don't do well with change in the least... i get sick to my tummy. Yea, i didn't know that is considered PTSD. When my councilor told me he believes i have a form of PTSD i was shocked. Idk if i already asked this or not... would you know how they rate GAF scores? Hello Navy04, Thank you for saying that Chief.... really is nice to hear im not the only one... Ive relied on the Army for 5 years of my life, before the Army i was a good hearted kid. But i was a loser who was going no where in life. Now i feel i have something to contribute to the world. If it be as a "big brother" for the big brother big sisters of America, or even as a mechanic. the only issue is my MH holding me back from everything and also increasing my anxiety for getting out. But from the bottom of my heart again as i have said for everyone else on here. it TRUELY means more than you know to hear that strangers even care about how im feeling. I feel blessed to of found this forum.

Yes, Sir. I understand im new as im sure you know trying to understand anything thank you.

Thank you very much Andy for your willingness to help me. Yes, Sir thank you.

Hey everyone. Ive been in the army for 5 years and im getting out in 197 days exactly and im just down right terrified. I wana cry at night cause im scared but my body wont let me shed one tear. Im here partly to get help to understand what i should do to get va disability, personal stories and partly for emotional support. Im going to behavior health for suicidal ideation, depression and anxiety currently. Ive been speaking to my ex girlfriend shes studying to be a shrink and she thinks i have paranoid schizophrenia and i was speaking to my mother the other day she said my sister has said for the last 4 years that she thought i have it as well, they both have never met in their life. However i did abuse cough syrup a few times. And im afraid they might blame the schizophrenia on that. But i was seeing behavior health before that even. Military found out. Never got introuble for it. Dark history in my life, but i have overcome that thanks to my asap class. Thank you God. I just got a psychiatric evaluation done, but im still waiting on the tests to come back to know whats really happening i dont even know who i am and worst of all for service connection, i have no clue at all what to make of this. I just had surgery for my shoulder impingement syndrome 2 weeks ago, they removed a bursa, did clavicular excision, and bicep tenesis. And ive healed well but still have a limited range of motion. (That much is all i know of va disability) I was told i have occipital nuralgia which causes me not only to have emence neck pain but to have incredible migranges daily i just walk around the motorpool acting like im busy but the pain is so bad i massage my neck and scalp to ease the pain and take naproxen like crazy, and when im off work not only do i stay home for fear of social interaction, i stay to nurse my headaches. I drink caffeine to help it and take more pain medication. I have lower back problems that came out of no where. 4 years ago my chiropractor said its facet syndrome but i stopped going to him for the last few years cause it wasnt helping and i went to see my primary care provider again for it he said its para spinal myalgia. Gave me some muscle relaxers and said have a good day after I asked for a referal back to the chiropractor. He just blew me off i feel. But i have social anxiety im scared to be a bother..... And i know im just screwing myself over but i cant help how i am. And i have to schedule appointments for anything and hes always a month backed up. Idk what to do about anything ladies and gentleman. Im begging for your help here. Im bugging my family so much about my anxieties they are ignoring my phone calls even... I want 100% disability not because it gets me out of work. I LOVE WORKING. It makes me feel accomplished and like I deserve to live and breath Gods air. But mentally im not right in the head.... If you all ask i can even show you all a text i sent to my mother when i was having a really bad episode, and even that doesnt cover all of me. (You all dont know me so i feel a ok sharing this if it helps the advice i would be given.) i mean its 0308. My mind is just racing itself i cant sleep at all!! PLEASE HELP.

Hey everyone. Ive been in the army for 5 years and im getting out in 197 days exactly and im just down right terrified. I wana cry at night cause im scared but my body wont let me shed one tear. Im here partly to get help to understand what i should do to get va disability, personal stories and partly for emotional support. Im going to behavior health for suicidal ideation, depression and anxiety currently. Ive been speaking to my ex girlfriend shes studying to be a shrink and she thinks i have paranoid schizophrenia and i was speaking to my mother the other day she said my sister has said for the last 4 years that she thought i have it as well, they both have never met in their life. However i did abuse cough syrup a few times. And im afraid they might blame the schizophrenia on that. But i was seeing behavior health before that even. Military found out. Never got introuble for it. Dark history in my life, but i have overcome that thanks to my asap class. Thank you God. I just got a psychiatric evaluation done, but im still waiting on the tests to come back to know whats really happening i dont even know who i am and worst of all for service connection, i have no clue at all what to make of this. I just had surgery for my shoulder impingement syndrome 2 weeks ago, they removed a bursa, did clavicular excision, and bicep tenesis. And ive healed well but still have a limited range of motion. (That much is all i know of va disability) I was told i have occipital nuralgia which causes me not only to have emence neck pain but to have incredible migranges daily i just walk around the motorpool acting like im busy but the pain is so bad i massage my neck and scalp to ease the pain and take naproxen like crazy, and when im off work not only do i stay home for fear of social interaction, i stay to nurse my headaches. I drink caffeine to help it and take more pain medication. I have lower back problems that came out of no where. 4 years ago my chiropractor said its facet syndrome but i stopped going to him for the last few years cause it wasnt helping and i went to see my primary care provider again for it he said its para spinal myalgia. Gave me some muscle relaxers and said have a good day after I asked for a referal back to the chiropractor. He just blew me off i feel. But i have social anxiety im scared to be a bother..... And i know im just screwing myself over but i cant help how i am. And i have to schedule appointments for anything and hes always a month backed up. Idk what to do about anything ladies and gentleman. Im begging for your help here. Im bugging my family so much about my anxieties they are ignoring my phone calls even... I want 100% disability not because it gets me out of work. I LOVE WORKING. It makes me feel accomplished and like I deserve to live and breath Gods air. But mentally im not right in the head.... If you all ask i can even show you all a text i sent to my mother when i was having a really bad episode, and even that doesnt cover all of me. (You all dont know me so i feel a ok sharing this if it helps the advice i would be given.) i mean its 0308. My mind is just racing itself i cant sleep at all!! PLEASE HELP.