Charlie D.

I just received notification I have been rated 40%. 10% for migraines and 30% for PTSD/MST. I did not find this forum until after I had filed my claim and completed my C&P Exam. Unfortunately, I was not really prepared for my C&P. It took me 27 years to come forward with MST so speaking about things is very difficult. During my C&P I was about the incidents but I was not asked much about my current mental state or about employment at all. Had I been I would have explained that I have rarely earned above the poverty level in the past 15 years. I did have a good Federal job from 7/2013 to 3/2015. It was during that time that I began counseling for MST. My boss knew the situation and really tried to work with me. It was too much to handle all at once. He had to talk me into actually taking the job. In March 2014 I gave notice because I was having panic attacks and horrible anxiety. I went to my GP who told me " You are a mess. What is going on?" I broke down and told her I thought I needed counseling because I was having nightmares and had just quit my Federal job. She prescribed meds to help me sleep, gave me information for the VA MH unit, and suggested I see if I could "un-quit" to at least try and get straightened out before giving up such a good job. I started counseling at the VA. It was very helpful but after 6 months my therapist started emergency medical leave and never came back. My marriage of 26 years nearly ended multiple times (my husband worked with the same people I did in the military and it has been hard for him to come to terms with as well). I really tried to keep working and did my best. I missed a lot of work and did use some LWOP as well. It was just too much to handle so my husband and I decided it would be best if I quit for good. 1) I am certain my boss would write a letter about my difficulties, how much time I missed from work and that it was due to MST. Is this something that would warrant a NOD? If so, do you have suggestions on information my ex-boss should or should not included to improve my chances of increasing my compensation / possible IU? I would love any suggestions. This is my last punt as my marriage and mental peace of mind are more important right now and I'm exhausted. Also, should I include my past earnings as the are mostly below the poverty level (SSA records below)? Wages from 1997 to 2012 I was self-employed trying to contribute something to our family. I have more and more difficulty completing jobs (I'm a self-taught web designer). It is taking a few months to complete a job that should take 2 weeks because of my lack of concentration. 1984 - 1,015 1985 - 7,401 1986 - 8,145 1987 - 5,156 1988 - 5,217 1989 - 8,770 1990 - 7,373 1991 - 724 1992 - 7,470 1993 - 21,813 1994 - 22,473 1995 - 25,156 1996 - 29,425 1997 - 16,570 1998 - 0 1999 - 0 2000 - 24,485 2001 - 0 2002 - 12,805 2003 - 11,276 2004 - 0 2005 - 3,517 2006 - 1,998 2007 - 0 2008 - 0 2009 - 0 2010 - 5,058 2011 - 1,915 2012 - 0 2013 - 16,491 2014 - 39,296 2) After my counselor started medical leave 10/2014 I did ask for a new counselor. The VA did not get me another appointment until June, 2015. At that point my marriage was at its lowest point. My husband had gotten a second job without telling me and was looking for a place to live. This was after quitting my Federal job and I had no way of supporting myself. I was as close to homeless as I'd ever want to be. I knew he was really suffering from all those years of not knowing what happened. Because of that, I told the VA counselor I did not think we could take the added stress of starting therapy again at that time. We have been meeting with our congregation elders to work on our marriage instead. Should I explain that as the C&P exam said I had declined further therapy because I didn't feel I needed it. 3) I have difficulty with outside employment because of my need to control my own situation as much as possible. The elders in our congregation have cautioned against isolating myself (I agree) and suggested doing volunteer work with my congregation. I have been doing 3-15 hours a week. The time I spend is up to me. Is that something I should bring up? Thank you for any suggestions. I was raised on a farm and have worked hard my entire life. Even though I may not mentally be able to hold a regular job I have tried to contribute to my family and home all these years. I don't understand why this illness is tied to employment. It feels like a discouragement to getting better and a question regarding my integrity. I am thankful and surprised to have received any compensation but as I said, I would like to set this straight and be done with it. Thanks for any suggestions.