Steppenwolf

I'm still having problems finding things. Maybe some of what I posted the last time I was here was discarded? It's also puzzling to me about where to post things: questions, information, or how to find things that might have already been answered. It's tempting to post here where it's most easy for me to find THIS post but something tells me that to do that is not a good idea. So, for instance, I thought I posted to Berta last time in a post the she talked about law ( I think??? ) I can't find that post and if it was removed, that's okay but how come I can't figure out where to post a question about laws and laws as they may or may not pertain the VA issues? I have a question about aide and attendance for me. My PCP quickly thinks I won't qualify while my shrink all too quickly wants me to take a competency exam because I MISTAKENLY took and over dose. Of all drugs to consciously take an over dose of; who would take an over dose of Lexepro? Plus, in the ER the nurse came in a said to me that she looked up Lexepro and my so called over dose was consider " a normal dose " by many. I also had a bone draft on Monday and was not given any antibiotics. With in 3 hours I had a fever. With-in 24 hours I had a fever of 105 and was delirious ( I live alone ) This is why I was asking about aid and attendance. So I posted my concerns here mostly because I can't seem to figure out this new site like I did the old one. Any feedback?

That's what I've been told by others and think that it's good advice. It's just too bad we can't get what our disability equates to. I don't understand SSDI. The friends I had that got it called it " crazy money ". Don't know what that means either I just never applied and perhaps it's too late for me.

I was using the manage followed content which left me thinking that I might have tagged on to someone else's post. Thanks for the help and suggestions...still haven't found what I thought that I posted....maybe it was in a dream <g>

I think I posted a question about VSO's having different answers to the same question and maybe went further asking about stirring things up by reopening ones case. How might I find it if I posted it?

I forget if there is a policy here not to link or mention other veteran organizations that are helping/posting But the one I found very interesting is one where the comments fill up very fast. Veteran's are reading ( including the one that you just posted ) and commenting to a point where " comments are closed " with-in a day. Not sure if there is a limit but I haven't had a chance to add my 2 cents yet. None-the-less, there are lots of interesting posts about the ongoing dirt that keeps piling up. If it's okay to post the site I will do that next time I'm here.

Somewhat different; maybe needs a new category. If I can make this comment to reflect what I'm thinking maybe one of the ADMIN people can move it to the most applicable category. So the point of the original post has to do with the issue of my disability rating with an important element about getting different answers to the same issue and question. After signing out of HADIT I ran into a few other issues unrelated to my rating or disability but very much related to this universal condition of UNDERSTANDING what to say, where to say it, how to say it and even why to say it. Maybe as I'm thinking about it now it should fall into " social chat " but how is it that what once seemed like a simple question now becomes difficult to figure out? Also what seems curious to me is how hundreds of news agencies report on the issue that I posted about the Durham VA's " scandal " and here on a site called " Hadit " there are only a few comments. One of the places that reported this story was on The DAV website and there are so many replies that the story was closed for further comments. Most of the comments included other veteran's experiences but one that jumped out at me was a story about the Director who was Director at another VA and she had a horrible trac-record there also yet she winds up with this 6 figure job here in NC making the same promises that she made at the last medical center. Maybe my point is multifaceted but basically asks: what is important enough to band together to endorse change in this screwed up system? One vet on the DAV site wondered out loud if the practices of the VAMC weren't possibly responsible for his illness's not getting better and in someways getting worse. Speaking for myself I can say that I often feel as if I am on a leash with appointments way in the future and almost always being hammered with medications. <-----This it self can be a whole discussion where we compare notes about how similar conditions are treated. Furthermore Prostate issues are RADICALLY different from one VA to the next. Should there be a common data base collecting this information on VAMC's? Just saying especially after being DX'd with prostate cancer and having the Durham VA taking a way to caviler approach to what to do. Should we have one discussion category for these men's issues and one for the female issues which are out there and does ANYONE know what the VA policy's are about them?

I've spoken with several different VSO's who have a different take about my disability. The one who told me to " leave well enough alone " has a familiar ring in other area's of my life but does it apply here. Similar recommendations warn about opening up things for a new look. One VSO asked what I am looking to gain? Maybe that is the question I need to ask here. If I'm considered unemployable is there any benefit in opening up a case and going through that rat race that I did for far more years than I even know. Thanks

Can you hear me now?

My PCP doc asked me if I had heard the saying: " If you've been to one VA then you've been to one VA." He told me that when I asked him how is it that the West Palm Beach VA gets many things done while the Durham VA seems to find ways to explain ( if one is lucky ) why they can't get things done. On Thursday the 2nd I hand delivered a letter of discontent to the directors office. One the 3rd while waiting for the UPS truck (ALL DAY MOST OF THE TIME ) I got a phone call from the PCP's nurse informing me that my medications were waiting at the Durham VA at the window. This nurse would allow me to get a word in edge wise and told me that there were only two choice: pick up my medication on Friday or get them UPS on Monday. I was out of medications and had to drive 42 miles to pick up the meds in mild withdrawals and I was shaking and enraged. I wrote a follow up letter to the director on the same day that this incident was happening. This medication non-sense has been happening for 8 years; always a mistake and a story. How is it that the news industry can't put one and one together and simply ask Veterans to submit their stories. Maybe an all out humiliation of the facility might get something done. The director is now answering questions about pictures of veterans on the floor and waiting for hours to be seen. Maybe if she fielded questions about every offensive practice the public would know and the representatives would know and the size of the problem might lead to change? Or am I dreaming?

You have to ask for it at check out and show your ID then they will give you 10% on all things not already discounted. It adds up especially if you're building or upgrading.

I wonder how many stories we will hear like yours and mine vs the others. They're all valid but fall under the old adage about everyone has an opinion. Since you work in that area of gearing real life calls they care more weight than mine which are opinions and hear-say. Thanks for reporting in! Do you hear the stories about foreign objects mysteriously finding their way into odd orifices? My medic buddies had many stories like that and used to wonder out loud: How did the rubber duck get in THERE? LOL

There are many questions going unanswered about health care issues. I've heard it said all too often: " The Question is Rhetorical " which has become a joke of late on SNL and many network comedies like Life in Pieces. I think what's happening to health care is also happening to the way that we communicate by always looking for the negative comment or commentary instead of looking for answers. So, on this subject I want to add my two cents: When the system has doctors, nurses, Emergency workers, police and fire fighters all spewing out the same flaw in the ointment by telling EVERYONE to " GO TO THE ER if...." If anything, if you have a hang nail or a splinter, a cold or a tummy ache then WE have what we have and the answer as to why the system is screwed up might start right there. Someone should publish a book of ER True Life Stories. ER doctors do not know YOU. You are a number or the next one up. They are taught to triage so if on the day that you are there because you ran out of meds and there is no one else to call; god help you if someone comes in after you bleeding, or throwing up, or complaining of chest pains ( " Chest Pains ALWAYS gets you to the front of the line ) Don't think that people haven't figured that out and use it. The get a quick EKG then ask about their REAL problem and the get handled. That hospitals and doctors haven't figured this out isn't surprising because the bottom line is if one says: " CHEST PAINS " they must be taken first. I've also spoken to some ER docs who HATE dealing with " snivelers " who come in to the ER for everything. Well think about it: that is what they are told to do without ever considering the consequences. The methodology is stupid and broken. Now consider the COST of an ER visit. Who pays for that? No one is EVER turned away so someone pays for it and it are the people with the best insurance. They pay for it in charges that they never look at because in their mind they think to themselves: " That is what I am paying for so who cares what a Tylenol costs? or an 15 second EKG. What in the world can a 15 second EKG show unless someone is having a MAJOR cardiac episode where when the trauma of the attack lingers in the P waves or the T waves? A 15 second ekg mostly shows nothing unless they just happen to be running the test when an event happens. Ask me and I can show you a 15 minute stress test that I was told looked as if I was a 35 YO athlete but 3 minutes into the cool down when one person was whipping down the treadmill and the other guy was doing his notes, I FELT what I always feel just before an attack happens...I KNEW I was going to have an event so I continued to watch the EKG that the attendants weren't watching. I see a slight fluctuation in one of the graphs and then it goes off the chart. Now I am not having a full blown heart attack but something called an SVT. During cool down my heart rate was down to 92 the shot up to 240 for about a minute. I called attention to the attendants who then jumped up and where trying to figure out what to do. I don't like that feeling but I certainty didn't panic because I KNOW that makes it worse. After the minute it went back to 107 and took a while before it was down to " normal " Now it's documented but I must have been to the ER a dozen or more times and they never saw anything; but I did get to the front of the line; not that I WANTED that, in fact I stopped saying " chest pains " and started saying what they really were: " sensations " but " chest " is the key word so they still move me to the front every time. My points are this: 1 It's the wrong way to treat health issues in the ER. 2 No one answers the question about what's wrong with health care because they tell you that the question is Rhetorical. and last but not least many ER workers work long hours and are tired of being disturbed at 3 AM when someone comes in with a cough. I'm sure there may be some health care workers in here who think I'm all wrong and maybe they are Florence Nightingale, or Mother Theresa reincarnate and they hate hearing my two cents. But if they are honest I think that they would have to admit that there are many doctors and nurses who get tired with the trivial stuff. 40 years ago no one went to the ER unless it was a real heart attack, a major car accident, a knife or bullet wound ( not many of those 40 years ago ) or a broken bone the was sticking throw the skin. Pregnant women didn't even go to the ER unless they couldn't reach their doctor and back in the day there was ALWAYS a cover doctor that would meet you at the hospital. It worked then why won't it work now?

Durham VA addresses viral Facebook post showing long wait in emergency department Zachery Eanes Zachery Eanes Mar 3, 2017 Updated Mar 3, 2017 Durham VA Director Responds To Allegations Of Neglect Caused By Viral Photos by Staff Writer 13 · Published March 3, 2017 A basic search brings up dozens of articles about this but the only way to comment is by joining the organization that is publishing the story. I understand the need for a modicum of accountability but who wants to JOIN all of these different news organizations to contribute to the story. Is it possible to comment here and have HADIT contribute a mailbag full of comments?

I'll attempt to reply to your great reply covering many of the bases. So: Nothing ever spilled. I purchased two logitech bluetooth keyboard one with an A/B/C option so it can be used for several devices. The gateway still seems to hicup. Gatway had me reinstall the drive for typing. Same problem/ The 10 upgrade was free and I figured it would fix all things 8. It didn't and I purchased a new Tosiba with 10 as the OS But at some point when I finally started the gatway I had a message that a time period had expired for me to go back to 8 I didn't get a disc with 8 and Gateway is now Asus or something else. The time it takes to figure out all of this craziness triggers a kind of anxiety that truly lead me to thinking about a dramatic end to this 400 dollar PC/ If I can find an 8 CD or DVD that will allow me to go back to the original OS I would try that but this sort of insanity is enough to drive a man to APPLE! Thanks for your feedback.!

Seeing that there was another Windows 8 question I thought about asking my own. If computer details are required it will take some time for me to get that because of 2 reasons at least: 1 8 was so odd compared to all that came before, plus my computer kept typing double " e " any and every time time I needed an " e " and 2 I was so frustrated with it and TRYING to get help; I purchased another new Tosiba Laptop from Best Buy for under $400.00 with windows 10.1 which needed to be returned the very next day because it would not connect to the INTERNET. The " GEEK SQUAD " insisted on trying " to fix it " after 3 hours and backing up the line of people waiting for help they gave me a new computer ( same make model ) but they checked it before leaving since it was a 52 miles round trip. In any event I'm typing on the Tosiba with 10.1 ( or so ) But I would like to use the Gateway that I purchased with 8. One major mistake I made with the Gateway was giving permission to Gateway to access my computer. Without asking the tech in a foreign land updated my laptop to 10 stating that it was much more stable. But I wanted to learn and fool around with 8 which I started to like ( not the double " e " ) Now I've been told that MS installed a time limiter so to speak and now I can not go back to 8 ( any version ) Is that true even if I buy an 8 DVD NEW? I do not recall the Gatway coming with a disc. So what are my options beside donating it.or using it for target practice ( It was purchased from TARGET ) Thanks, Step

Thanks Berta. i didn't realize that others get that strange emotional reaction. The other thing that happened was the filing with the US court for veterans claims. Two people mentioned to me that if i file i would get solicited by attorneys wanting to represent me. The day after i filed my mail box was full and my phone didn't stop ringing. ( another reason to turn the phone off ) Just when i thought i could put the paperwork away for a while the crap is pouring in from everywhere. i know it sounds unreal but my head hurt so much i seem to be losing my sight literally! In fact everything hurts.

Thanks to all for the congrats. A kinda strange thing happens with me when i get good news. To go into details here about what that is might tarnish the "success" board. But since you guys are my brothers and sisters i want to talk some about it in another board to see if i'm not only the Steppenwolf but also the Lone Wolf. Thanks again! Stepp

Over the years for whatever reason the VA envelope arrives just before a holiday. The news was always "DENIED" But maybe there's been a reversal of fortune. Friday i called the 1-800 number to ask about my hearing request and was told that there wouldn't be a hearing. My request for an increase was approved! Earlier in the week i spoke with a probono attorney in DC who had reviewed my other denied claims and he thinks the BVA made a mistake and his firm wants to represent me. Today i told him to file the appeal with the CAVC. July 4th has a whole new meaning for me. Thanks to the HADIT clan for tolerating my rants and helping me understand this strange process. BTW The letter has not arrived yet but i called the 800 # again today to see if there was any new info. The letter and a check went out today. It's Martini Time in NC!!!

If the fee issue help another veteran that's a good thing and i certainly don't mind that you picked it out to comment Sledge. That said you can see how quickly it spins off to being the subject. A similar thing happened in another post that i started about the instructions and meaning of said instructions in VA FORM 4597. The attorney yesterday commented on how ambibuous that form is even for attornies trained in VA Law. Perhaps that's why no one has a solid answer. A few others here have commented on how and why possibily the case is biased. i think that is what the DAV and attorny's see that the BVA "erred". But at this point, as i mentioned a few times the focus here should now be on the TDIU and roll the dice on the other two issues. But if there is a chance in hell that i can keep all of the balls in the air while waiting for my NOD hearing i think i have enough new and old evidence to win them too. If i had not had one experience with a VSO who really took the time to delve into the complexity of my case and watched over it while he gave me a list of things to do including a very important part which was to ask my doctors if they were willing to re-write their letters more than once with wordage suggestions; i would have never won my case. It wasn't that the evidence wasn't there, it was knowing the words that the VA wanted to see. That letter that the judge didn't like is a typical example of a well written letter that is missing the "MAY I" like the Simon Says game. i'll even give the judge credit for languaging what it was that she wanted to hear from the BVA and VARO. If there is anything that might help other veterans maybe i should copy her remand instructions and post them here. Thanks again for taking the time to comment!

When i mentioned >>>>" He also said that once the courts get my filing fee my records will be sent to them."<<<< it was mentioned only as a point of change concerning where my records would reside. ( if i can say it that way ) But in context of what was asked, the fee comment could have been left out completely. It occurs to me that this is in a way an example of how what gets contextualized becomes the point of focus whether a word or sentence is germane to the greater issue or question at hand is up for interpretation. i am very tough on myself for not saying things right, or saying too much or not saying enough. i always blame myself first. But i don't know where to learn how to speak at this stage in my life. i think that i take my time and answer questions that are asked and if i think my own questions have not been answered i try to rephrase them. i try to reduce it to the most basic words. But maybe i truly am delusional. Maybe i think i'm saying stop when in fact i'm saying go. Maybe all that is wrong with my case is me not saying the right words. So, for instance: these were the words that followed the "fee" sentence: "This if you recall is one of my fears. i told him that i have a hearing scheduled for a rating increase or TDIU." The "fear" has to do with my records being shipped away from where they are needed for a hearing. Prioritize Steppenwolf! If there is a chance to win a decision for an increase that will take me from 50% to 100% does it not make sense to advise Steppenwolf to focus on the TDIU and if you think that the other two issues have merit then put in a notice for reconsideration or maybe even to vacate. Since the 120 days " is cast in stone " according to the attorney that i spoke with yesterday, then let the time pass! If it IS NOT necessary to ask for reconsideration or to vacate the decision with-in 120 days FOR ANY REASON then get all the evidence ducks in a row and file AFTER the NOD hearing and decision. The possibility that my NOD request will be denied too then what will my choices be THEN if the court has my records? Back on the hamster wheel. This seems to be what makes the most sense to me. i think that i keep asking the same question: Must this appeal, must this request for reconsideration ( or to vacate <since i'm still not clear how or why i would ask that the decsion be vacated...what are the consequences? is this like starting from square one? will vacating result in another 40 years to review everything as if they have never seen it before? One attorney told me that that's what "vacate means"> ) That someone now thinks that the BVA has "erred" does not give me hope. It depresses me that after 40 years NOW someone thinks that the BVA made a mistake. What happened during all of those appeals over 40 years. Why couldn't anyone see the dots connected? Everything is already there and when i got an IMO that said what i have now is connected to what i had then the judge says there weren't enough arrows and pictures to help her see the connection. My "take as needed" medications are being taken a lot these days!

Berta: " Can you tell us what rationale the judge stated for the "not probative" remark?" Yes. She said that the doctor did not state what exactly in my records lead him to the conclusion that my current condition is/was related to my urinary/prostate problems in service. It occurs to me that the VA and BVA wants arrows point to and pictures illustrating any and all connections. As Phillip Rogers and others have said to me in the past: "old decisions seem to carry a considerable amount of weight". i sometimes wonder why the rating paper work that the VA sent me back in 1971 that says 0% for prostate disorder and prostatitis don't carry any weight? BTW Today there was an interesting letter in my mail from my VSOrganization telling me that it seems that the BVA may have erred in the March decision. They sent me case to an attorney who i just spoke with. He was confident that the court would either rule in my favor or remand it back to the BVA. He also said that once the courts get my filing fee my records will be sent to them. This if you recall is one of my fears. i told him that i have a hearing scheduled for a rating increase or TDIU. He asked me a few questions and agreed that there should have been enough to consider the higher rating from the beginning. He also suggested filing that TDIU form right away.

Berta, PS Notice the heading here is about managing my own finances if i get TDIU. i have three more doctors letters; tow are IMO's for TDIU or at least an increase to 70%. i also have a therapist who is willing to come to the hearing with me for direct cross examination. Of course if the hearing falls on her birthday or her sons wedding day i have a feeling which event she will chose.

Berta, You asked two things: What does the rep suggest as to the next step you should take? and Has your vet rep suggested that this is what you might need in order to succeed? ( referring to an IMO ) In a way both of these questions can be answered with the same answer: My VSO up until now has clearly misunderstood the state of my case; hence the letter from VARO to my senator stating that they made a mistake and at the time of the letter ( about a year ago ) 2 issues on appeal had NOT been ruled on yet and they were asking me if i had any more evidence. i did/do, but my VSO would not talk to me. They would not return calls. So the extended time that VARO gave to me was about to pass so i submitted several important pieces of evidence three days before the deadline and had it time stamped to prove that it was submitted with-in the time frame they extended to me. However, VARO didn't wait for the evidence. They sent the records back to BVA early. My hope had been that the new evidence would generate a new SSOC to give me more time to meet up with the doctor who gave me my exit exam who is now a medical doctor/teacher at a university. i wrote to him and he was willing to look at my evidence and some pictures from that duty station to refresh his memory ( it had been 40 years ) but the good news was that he was willing to consider writing the letter that would contradict the VA's main reason for denial: " The veterans exit exam does not mention prostatitis " Although the judge ruled against me, for the first time the VA has acknowledged that i did have prostatitis as early as the month of my discharge ( pun intended ). For the doctor to now say he erred in not stating it on my exit exam would remove the one thing that has been the foundation of the VA's denial. So back to my VSO. It is interesting that a local rep is willing to submit my reconsideration paper work. He wants every piece of new evidence that i have including the statement from the doctor. He did not mention an IMO. It should be noted that an IMO from a private urologist that the judged allowed as new and material evidence to reopen the case is, according to a private attorney that i contacted " benefit of the doubt " but the judge stated that the letter was not "probative". The attorney said benefit of the doubt in essence is one expert saying yes he does and another saying no you don't. The letter was accurate however, had the doctor reworded the last sentence or two to address the nature of this disorder and the subjectiveness of a prostate exam the IMO may have held up better. But i think with the right doctor the IMO can be rehabilitated if one can say that about an "opinion". Once again, the attorney said that the existence of that letter constitutes benefit of the doubt. An interestingly timed side note to this who thing is my visit yesterday with a VA PA-urologist who says " I've felt a lot of prostates but never one like yours. But I don't think you have prostatitis" "I think that you may have something else that is urological" HUH??? If this guy writes that down on my records that is not going to help. Plus he never offered to find out what it might be he just wants me to take three new drugs and come back in 6 months. Is it any wonder why I don't like going to VA doctors. My records are loaded with prostatitis DX; the judge even agreed that I have/had it. Bottom line: my VSO is willing to submit my evidence but i'm not sure that i should count on what he plans on saying as being what needs to be said. He never asked about the IMO letter and wasn't interested in hearing about it either.

Berta, i'm sorry if it seems like i keep asking the same question(s) Aren't the details of a case to some degree determinant to what one does to best serve the specifics of their case? i keep referring to that VA from 4597. On one hand it seems to not only list the things a veteran can do "to appeal" is what it says on the top of the form. But it also give examples of what circumstances might determine which choice the veteran makes. Also in those instructions i read that if CAVC puts it on it's docket then the BVA in essence must ask permission from CAVC to hear, consider, talk to, the veteran. Am i reading that incorrectly? And along those same lines it seems to me that all things VA related are subject to who has the records. Now: VARO has my records. I am waiting for a NOD hearing at VARO. If I send a letter to BVA informing them that i want my decision reconsidered, or vacated, or anything BVA then BVA will request my records be sent to DC and therefore delay my hearing. Moreover if CAVC takes charge VARO would have to send my records to them and then neither BVA nore VARO will have my records. In a very interesting letter from VARO to my senator who wrote to them on my behalf; VARO gives a very interesting explanation about "what the records are" by spending a lot of time telling the senator ( and me ) what they are not. In essence they say that my records are but one physical container. Only THAT is what counts. i also read in the 4597 that if i ask for reconsideration that there will be another 120 days to ask for a CAVC hearing AFTER the BVA considers my request. What it actually says could be one of those mysteries that no one know for sure. If you know, will you take my interpretation, put it in quotes and tell me what is wrong with it. The clock is ticking on the first 120 days. From all that i've read, heard, and think maybe it would be best to let the 120 pass.

Is there an answer to this question? i sometimes don't know if people get defensive or maybe they really do not know the answer to the question, or maybe it's me....i remember that from my days in the military: someone doesn't like what you say or how you say it, they project that you're being argumentative or something....whatever it is they chose to not reply. If there is something that i said wrong here or didn't ask right, then please point it out. i want to know what these options mean on the VA Form 4597. After reading it ten plus times it seems to say that the 120 days only concerns the CAVC filing. i also think, this is just me thinking that: not understanding the consequence of my actions and choices is what got me into this fine mess anyway. i have far too many letters from the VA saying: You did not reply in the time allowed so we have ruled: Go back directly to jail, do not pass go, do not collect $200.00.