megtwils

I’m very humbled by your lengthy reply and insight/advice. I had a mental collapse last week and finally surrendered to the fact I can’t do this alone. I opened up to my husband and mother and they are helping me get additional counseling through the local Vet Center. I started the “intake” process and I’m putting my claim on hold for a bit while I get help. I wish everything was streamlined and I could go through this once and be done (and not have to likely reiterate and relive the details in my C & P exam), but I understand now that maybe that’s what needs to happen as part of opening this wound and facing it. This has taken me to some pretty dark, gnarly places and I have a strong support system and much to live for. I cannot imagine less fortunate vets and I’m so grateful for the support on forums like this. Thank you.

OEF female vet here just starting the process of my PTSD/MST and Tinnitus claims. I'm gonna be really honest here : For many years I didn't file anything because I felt guilty filing claims next to soldiers missing limbs and suffering from TBI and other horrors. At the urging of a fellow friend and vet, I've started the process and have quickly gone from feeling guilty to becoming a total trainwreck. I met with a VSO last week and have slowly started working on my statement and I feel like a giant hole has been ripped open and everything is spilling over. It's affecting my job, my family, everything. I am having panic attacks and crying uncontrollably off and on. I really am shocked at what is coming out. I thought the two years of private therapy immediately after my deployment was enough. Did anyone else feel the same way? Please tell me that putting myself/family through this and reliving these traumas, coupled with the tedious maze of claim do's and don'ts is truly worth it? I think I may need to start counseling again to get through this. Thanks.