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Through the looking glass

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Through the looking glass last won the day on December 16 2018

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About Through the looking glass

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    E-3 Seaman

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    Reading, spending time with my kids, watching anything with sports, and board games.

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  1. i just wanted to add to this conversation. I recently had the same thing, my retro was split into multiple payments, and even showed up that way on payment history one ebenefits and in my letter explaing my benefits and retro. I have no idea why the VA did it this way this time, but it all worked out in the end. I hope you find some answers in your case that will help put your mind at ease.
  2. @treysnonnathank you for the input. I am currently starting a new medicine and my rheumatologist and spine doctor want to wait and see if it helps at all before a stimulator. I will keep you posted on how things go.
  3. Hi all, I won my BVA a few months back and was granted SMC-l for aid and attendance. I feel things went smoothly, but I guess having a lawyer who knows what they are doing can make that happen. Life has been tough medically for me the past few years, and this win was just what I needed to lift my spirits. I’ve struggled with my AS (Ankylosing Spondylitis) becoming super aggressive and really interfering with my quality of life. My PTSD/Anxiety/depression/OCD has been very bad in the past year as well, and I recently put in an increase for that, so I am still waiting on that development. My husband and I are contemplating applying for the caregiver program, but I’m not sure I’m ready (emotionally) to admit I would need a program like that. I’m pretty stubborn and would rather suffer than admit my body is failing me . Anyway, I love this group and I am so glad to have a community to go to when I need help. side Note: my retro came in multiple chunks, like 10 different amounts . When I went to look at my bank account, it took me a few seconds to figure out what had happened.
  4. Just wanted to update you all. I called the White House hotline and received a call from the va hospital today. So because there is a small outpatient clinic here in my town (primary care and mental health services only, they don’t even have a pharmacy). I am not eligiblie for choice, but I do qualify for community based care. So now triwest will cover my specialty care. The person I talked to said it can take up to a month tor get everything in order. I am super happy that it all worked out. The White House hotline is a lifesaver.
  5. Buck, . “most of us are in denial with it as it is....or at least I was for years and years and its likely as to why I am having a hard time with it which rings true for many Veterans” this is so true! I was in major denial for the longest time. It wasn’t until I found a great psychiatrist that really put things into perspective for me that I realized that what I was going through was PTSD. I honestly went through life thinking I was crazy, with the paranoia, nightmares and anxiety. Luckily, I now have a support system that helps me. I’m still young (36), but I hope that I can find some healing, so that going out with my kids isn’t such a big ordeal, or so that I can finally sleep at night. I do have days that I feel good, but they are rare, most days I feel like a train that’s lost control of its brakes and barely makes it through sketchy turns alive. I was also in denial, because I’d rather pretend I’m okay than deal with the trauma. PTSD is such a giant monster for any individual to deal with. Having groups like the people on Hadit. And anyone willing to listen without judgement is huge! I hope that one day we can have a solution for PTSD, until then I feel like each day is just about survival, if I survive than I did well.
  6. I am rated with PTSD and Major Depressive disorder as secondary to PTSD. I’m sorry you’re struggling with therapy. Years ago I decided to try the VA mental health clinic that’s local to me and had an awful experience. After that I refused to receive MH care through the VA. I see an outside psychiatrist and therapist now and have done so for years. My current therapist is doing EMDR with me, which can be rough, but has helped me in so many ways. Best or luck and try not to worry too much (easier said than done right!). Keep us updated on how things go.
  7. By the time I got out I was so severely traumatized that I wanted nothing to do with my time in the Navy, even filing a claim with the VA was a no go for me, I wanted to distance myself from that experience as much as possible. It took 3-4 years after I got out before my husband convinced me to file a claim. When I did it was very hard on me emotionally. It opened up wounds that I wasn’t ready to deal with and really halted any progress I had made in therapy. I honestly do not know how I survived the last year and a half of my service, it literally was hell, and had I not had my son I know I would have ended my life. That said, I completely understand. One thing I’ve learned is that not all disabilities are as visible as others and that doesn’t make the less visible ones any less serious. Do not cut yourself short. If the military caused you injury, whether physical or mental, than recieving VA disability is your right. I really hope that your case will move smoothly, but I recommend being ready to battle. I wasn’t when I first filed, and I almost walked away after my first denial, but then I met another vet at a concealed carry class, and for reasons I can’t explain I let everything out. He directed me to a VA rep who helped him and after that things started rolling. My claims are not done however, as I have a review of my mental health (50%) still in the process and I’m still waiting for my RO to implement my SMC-L A&A rating recently granted by the BVA. Hang in there. It Will be worth it in the end, and you have this amazing support group here to help you along the journey.
  8. Geeky squad, I will seriously consider this. I am finally working through this incident with my therapist and will bring this up at my next appointment.
  9. Geeky squad, thank you for your support it means a lot. In my situation there is evidence of my assault while serving, as I was hospitalized after. I don’t talk about it much, because I was drugged and have no memory of the actual event. Everything that occurred after was horrific though, as my command did nothing. I never pursued it in a claim because I hate having to talk to a stranger about it. I’ve gotten to a point in my life (I have a daughter) where I realize that I have to be brave and step forward with my experience. I feel it will help others who have or will experience something similar be brave and seek help before it’s too late. So even if this claim turns into a nightmare, I’m showing my daughter that I will not let this experience defeat me.
  10. Wow! I currently have a MST/PTSD claim in. In my last mental health review the examiner told me that the previous examiner had suggested an increase in my current percent (50%), due to my MST, and the VA did nothing( he was confused why nothing was done and why I was even at the exam). With that information in hand I filed a CUE for the first exam and my claim has gone from every stage back to gathering evidence on E-Benefits twice now. I really hope this does change things. Luckily, I have a representative now who has jumped on all this and has gotten the ball rolling for me. I feel like even though I have my victories here and there, there always seems to be a battle.
  11. Yup, I found out a few years after a C&P that my examiner suggested 70% for PTSD and the VA did nothing. I now have a CUE in after reading that C&P exam and seeing so many errors. I also never go to VA mental health. I had one therapist that completely retraumatized me and I never went back, I pay out of pocket for someone outside the VA (I don’t think I’ll ever do mental health through the VA again).
  12. Thanks guys. I am taking this for Ankylosing Spondylitis(AS). I have been in a battle with medication to stop the progression of this disease for years now. Unfortunately, every biologic medication I’ve taken before this either didn’t work, stopped working or put me in the hospital. The one I was on before this worked for 2-3 years and then stopped. After many tests my doctor and I have found that my disease has been progressing and in a very aggressive manner. This new medication, even though hard core, is one of my last resorts. I have been pumped full of steroids to get me through until I start this new medication, and have felt awful. I hate steroids. I have been in and out of the hospitals for so many things connected to AS as it has attacked my liver, heart, eyes, GI system, and lungs. The damage and pain I suffer make this medication worth the risk. (And the fact that I’ve already been on all the alternatives). Again, thank you for your input. If there is anyone else that has taken this medication or had a loved one take it, I would still love to hear about your experience.
  13. Hi, I’m going to be starting a new medication called RENFLEXIS (biosimilar to remicade). I’ve been on multiple biologics up until this point so I am familiar with how TNF blockers work. The part that makes me nervous is the medication is administered through an infusion and the complications appear to be more than the other meds I’ve taken. I wanted to see if anyone on here is on this, or has been on it, that can share their experience? I feel positive that it will help me, just nervous having to switch things up yet again.
  14. Thank you everyone for your advice! I have a lot to think about. I’ll keep you up to date on things.
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