I have a C&P exam coming up that I’m stressing over. I have a lengthy history of contemplating suicide, sometimes with a plan and sometimes just wishing I’d die, before calling the veteran’s crisis hotline or talking to my HUDVASH caseworker. Does it matter that I don’t have records of those crisis line calls and rarely reported them to my va mh provider? My provider is well aware I use the crisis line, but I don’t report each of those specific calls to her. Also, I scratch and pick at my skin to create scabs I can further pick at and cause pain (face, legs, and arms mainly) which has caused too many scars to count (ongoing issue, so have current lesions as well as old scars). Besides these, I pull out my hair (eyebrows, legs, and arms) for the same effect/result. Would these be examples of self harm in the 100% category? Since I always wear makeup, pants, and long sleeves to hide these issues, should I make sure to show the examiner or is that just unnecessary and disgusting and I should just tell her?