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Lagin02

Second Class Petty Officers
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About Lagin02

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    E-4 Petty Officer 3rd Class

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  1. That’s a pretty accurate depiction of this situation! I’m sure glad I listened to your “hectoring” or I would be watching everything I built burn like the Trojans did.
  2. I should have gone with my gut on attaining him in the first place. I had never dealt with this process so I figured I would let someone more competent guide me. However, through research I determined I needed three things: diagnosis, the stressor, and the nexus. When I handed him the memorandum and the PHAs with reported symptoms after the stressor, he told me they didn’t need it. I was confused and said “don’t you need to prove a stressor occurred and his symptoms started after?” If I knew more than him I should have gone with someone else. He is still listed as our representative and I haven’t heard from him since he called back in July (weeks after I called asking about expediting the claim). At that point, I had already figured out what needed to turned in and submitted it. Thankfully, this forum helped me get everything done myself. If I had counted on him, I would be tossing my stuff out right now.
  3. I got some clarity on this. Apparently even though it was flagged, they didn’t prioritize it as high as they should have. My understanding is that the VSO never turned in the paperwork for the children so even though the expedition request stated his children would be homeless and there was no resources for them, the information the VA had stated he didn’t have any dependents. Also, the VSO never turned in the memorandum that stated he was sent to combat stress in Iraq so they had to pull records of the incident which extended the time it took to make a decision.
  4. Thank you Berta!i appreciate all the prayers and support. As grateful as I am for the senators intervention, I am so angry that it took this much to get him the benefits he was entitled to so he could get the help he needs. How many veterans do not have someone to fight for them and are instead left to the mercy of a heartless agency like the VA? Especially those suffering from mental health conditions which can impede their ability to advocate for themselves? It’s not okay! Our veterans deserve better!!!!
  5. I am so sorry, I forgot to include you in my list of people to thank!! So many people came forward to help and I really appreciate each and every one of you!!! Thank you so much! I will most definitely keep everyone in the loop as we move forward. You are all absolutely amazing!
  6. What should I be watching out for? I get it now! “An almost archaic term” gave it away. Hector was portrayed as the ideal solider, son, and father. So it fits perfectly in my opinion! I wish, I’m more of a reader than a writer. I’m definitely going to look into this. After graduating I realized I should have gone to law school instead of getting a degree in social work. Our hands are often tied by laws and policies developed by bureaucracy that have never worked on the front lines of economic crisis faced by millions of lower income individuals and families. My former position involved connecting service members and veterans with community resources but I never worked with the VA. A good 90% of the clients who came to my office were in financial crisis. Some because of poor decision making and planning but others because of physical and mental health issues. Ultimately I referred them to the same resources I tried to use with no result. I hate that I was part of that frustrating cycle for so many of my clients. I guess I had to experience it myself to understand.
  7. I already filled out submitted both forms. I included the disability counseling letter form his guard unit I posted a while back. I also started the intake process with the program in Chicago so he can get in ASAP. I am hoping he gets better with this program and it doesn’t come to that. What do you think the chances are that he will get better? The C&P examiner didn’t seem very optimistic. He said with therapy it is possible that he could get back 30-60% of his old self but it’s hard to say. I don’t even know what it means but I assume encouraging me? Is this another southern word? I am so grateful for all the support I’ve gotten. I wish there were stronger words than thank you. I don’t know what I would have done if not for this forum and so many people who were willing to help. I truly value the time you spent responding and in your kind (not cranky) grandfatherly way. I already wrote him an email thanking them for assisting us and attached a picture of the kids so he could see the children he kept from going on the street. Turns out he is a veteran himself. Perhaps that's why he worked so hard and quickly to resolve this. Consider me buckled! I won’t give inch! I most definitely will! I wish I had this experience when I worked as a case manager in service member and veteran services. More needs to be done because there are too many holes in services and our veterans are falling through the cracks. When I am able to return to that field, this terrible experience will make me a better advocate for them. Thank you KIND & wise grandpa squid
  8. I got great news today! We won!!!!! The senators office let me know that my husband has been awarded a 70% rating but something called IU has been deferred because they need a form filled out which she sent to me (email below). His backpay for his rating has already been authorized and will be deposited in the next 5 business days. I don’t even think I have fully processed it yet. I can’t even adequately put into words how thankful I am for everyone’s help! I really want to give a shout out to @GeekySquid @shrekthetank1 @vetquest @kanewnutYou are all so amazing! Thank you for helping me navigate this insane system. You all can’t even know how much it means to me! Because you all took the time answer all my questions and guide me throughout this entire process, my husband can get the help he needs to get better and my babies will have a roof over their heads. I know you all took a lot of time out of your days to respond and give support. I have never experienced this much kindness in my entire life and I have never even met you guys. @GeekySquid I’m sorry to ruin your reputation of being “heartless” but that is just so untrue! @Buck52 I really appreciate the time you spent writing me about treatment opinions and @Berta for sharing your story. Everyone who provided information, answered my questions, or just sent some words of encouragement, I appreciate you all too! Thank you just doesn't feel like it’s enough but thank you all from the bottom of my heart!!!
  9. That is abundantly clear! I am amazed by the outpouring of support and concern the people on this thread have shown. Thank you so much!
  10. I am so sorry this happened to you! There should definitely be more resources for the family as everyone in the household is impacted by this disorder. In situations where violence is involved the safety of all people in the home should matter and I don’t think the VA sees it that way. I’ve pretty much barred my soul on this forum. I agree that it isn’t fair that it falls to us to deal with the collateral damage that the military causes. My family has been devastated by this but I include my husband in that. I don’t view myself as the victim or the one to blame. I blame the military. I blame them for ignoring his PHA when he came home where he marked off symptoms of PTSD and for providing zero support when he came home. He didn’t even have medical insurance 30 days after returning from a combat zone.
  11. Thank you so much! I do sincerely appreciate it! I think we all owe a great deal of gratitude to our Vietnam Vets. They endured hell and then came home to a ungrateful country. People can disagree all they want with the reasons a war is fought but that is a matter to take up with our politicians. The men and woman who fought, bled, and died for us did not get to choose the conflict.
  12. My best friend said that I can stay with her if it comes to it. I’m the oldest of my siblings and most functional of my family so I can’t really get support in that area. We rent and our landlady is older and relies on this rental income to pay her own bills. I guess technically I could stay until I was evicted but I could never do that to her. I’m not as heartless as the VA. That’s exactly what I have been telling my husband when he makes comments about ending his life so we can have his life insurance. Stuff can be replaced but my husband and my children’s father is irreplaceable. Fortunately, I don’t think it will come to that. His TSP will get us through another two months and I am pretty confident that his claim will be approved.
  13. Unfortunately he is mandated to attend therapy by his unit command. Not that they care to deal with the problems it’s caused. I haven’t heard anything from them since they put him in “disability counseling” and said he cannot attend any military training until he is cleared by a military doctor.
  14. Well when you put it like that... I didn’t make the connection between the stigma and the shame. You right that I have been allowing my concern over being humiliated drive many of my decisions. I never really stopped to think about why I felt embarrassed when it wasn’t something either he or I created. It’s not even the people closest to me that I’m worried about. My friends and family know what’s going on. He has driven away most of his own family and I am the oldest in my family and the most functional so we don’t have support there. It’s people I don’t even know I’m concerned about. I don’t want people to look at us as a charity case or see my husband and think he’s crazy or bad. He really is a good man who had some really terrible things happen to him. Why I let myself have any concern over what people who don’t even know me think is a bit irrational. I didn’t mean to make it sound like I wasn’t taking that seriously. I have been in therapy on and off throughout my adult life. I think the tools I learned is what has allowed me to handle this situation. I can handle bad things happening to me, it’s watching the ones I’m supposed to take care of be hurt and be helpless to make it better that causes me the most stress. I will more than likely be in counseling with my husband while he does the program and I know his therapist mentioned that I could also attend individual therapy at the VA. It’s just a matter of childcare right now and my son is still nursing so I can’t really leave him. Once this all gets sorted, I’ll figure out what I need to do to get that set up.
  15. Sorry! I can only speak to what I have seen . I absolutely will be posting a big name dropping detailed post with a nice donation from my husband’s backpay. I am so thankful for this forum! There oh go ruining your reputation again! I will be fine. If I can have the peace of mind that my kids will be okay and my husband can get the help he needs, 90% my stress will be gone. I feel like the last year has been a series of unfortunate events. Next year will be better and this will just be a bad memory. Thank you. Thank you! THANK YOU!!!!!
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