VVAN27

Context: I voluntarily got out of the Army May 2018 after 11 years. I did tours to Iraq, Afghanistan, and Qatar, Korea as rotational. I got pretty jacked up mentally on my Afghanistan tour and I started having really bad symptoms, alcohol abuse, depression, violent tendencies, angry insubordinate outbursts etc etc I left because it was only a matter of time before I snapped on some mouthy, inexperienced 2LT. PTSD and a bunch of pills later I found myself a civilian again. I worked 9 miserable months as a manager of a car rental place. Man, was that ever a bad idea, I could not stand the twatwaffles that came through that door and the ones above me either. I started becoming hostile toward them too customers and employees alike. I stayed with that company but began being a car washer for another 8 months. It was the same as being a manager, just with more stupid. I will give them credit though, they gave me A LOT of reasonable accommodations as a disabled vet. They tolerated a lot from me where others would have been fired. I am grateful for that but, that was no life. That's when I decided I needed to do something different. I applied for VR&E and was approved. On 14 August 2019, I had a meeting with my VR&E Counselor. I was accepted to my dream school and we finalized my training plan. She said she would get me a computer, printer, books, and take care of the tuition payments. I was so excited I could barely wait to start school! I asked how to get the books I needed on the 15th of august, she replied on the evening of the 16th with the process. Since it was late Friday by the time I got the info I sent her the list of books required on the 18th. She did respond to my email so I assumed everything was good to go. By the 23rd of August, a full week since I had last heard from her and three days prior to class start I had hadn’t heard anything from her so I emailed asking for an update. I received no response, nor would I ever again. On 26 August 2019, school began, but I still had no computer, no books, and tuition had not been paid. I called, my wife called, and emailed her again…no return call, no autoreply email, nothing. Finally, it came to 29 August 2019. My VR&E counselor was still not responding to emails or phone calls. I was already late on assignments which would put me in a bad position to uphold my end of the contract and maintain satisfactory academic progress. I read several other stories online about VR&E counselors doing these kinds of things and shouldering student debt on veterans because the VR&E counselors failed to act. That was $8K in debt we could in no way afford. Based on this, I decided the only way to mitigate the damages the VR&E counselor was about to cause was to withdraw from school and I did. I was downright embarrassed to withdraw like that. All those people at a prominent school, my dream school, that put in so much effort to help me succeed and it was the one person that had an obligation to help me that destroyed me. Even if I can go back to school in the future, that withdraw will always be there on my transcript as a reminder of this ridiculous injustice. Can you blame me at all for feeling so betrayed? We went to the Veteran Service Office (VSO) in my town for guidance, but they were closed every day except Tuesday. I was lost. I’ve never, ever felt so cheated. I trusted her to keep her word, the word she put forth in what I perceived as a contractual since we had a formal agreement we both signed but, she hadn’t, I didn’t know what to do, but couldn’t afford the books or would have just got them myself. I could’ve borrowed my wifes computer, even though she still needed it for her own classes, but I couldn’t do the class work without the books. There was no way to take out a loan as I was already stretched to the breaking point financially after taking the pay cut at my last job for change changing positions. There was nobody I could borrow it from either since I don’t have friends and don’t speak with family. My wife took on more bills to give me a break when I switched roles at my work and she didn’t have the money either. Basically, I was hung out to dry in a hurricane kind of screwed over. I quit my job, albeit a crappy one, on her word that she would do as promised and I was counting on the stipend to make it through financially. Though that job sucked I did have income and they tolerated my issues. This meant my family stood to lose a lot, if not everything. I lost all self-control, I couldn’t bear that failure and shame. I called the veterans crisis line anonymously and they recommended I go in as a walk-in. I did that at my assigned clinic, hoping to maybe get my medications changed or updated, or some other manner of help stabilizing this destruction. My wife had an appointment there that day also and I was struggling bad with booze and substance abuse so she got me out of bed and dressed, then went together. They suggested inpatient treatment for substance abuse and PTSD. I believe they probably should have admitted me involuntarily at that very moment, but they let me go after I told them I had too much to live for and I would consider it and respond in a few days. I honestly left without anything much actually happening. I regret not being honest on the spot in hindsight because the depression just got way worse. After several days of never leaving the bed, I managed to start crawling out of my pit of depression only to fall right back into it. I spent several more days there again. I just didn’t want to be around for what was going to happen next, complete life collapse. I would lose everything and I had no damn idea how the hell to stop it. I think it was maybe the 9th of September, I woke up determined to get a damn answer for why the VR&E counselor failed me. My wife and I went down there together, unannounced. I took her with me because I was afraid of what I might do to that counselor if I went alone. The counselor was there. The person that greeted us went into the counselors office to tell her we were there. That took an unusually long period of time, as if someone knew they screwed up. When we went in to speak with her, she behaved as if nothing was wrong at all. After explaining everything to her, all she said was that she was out all that week and never got any emails or calls from either of us. Like her email, phone, and voicemail mystically stopped working and they did not check up on students? What about the damn week before that? She didn’t so much as offer a genuine apology! I apologized to her in my email when I absolutely should not have. I wanted to hop over that desk and decimate her. How does a VR&E counselor go on vacation during the peak return-to-school time of the year with no failsafe in place? No transfer of work, no email to their clients to give other points of contact no NOTHING! “Oh, I would have paid for the classes Mr. X,” she says to me. That’s fine, but I have zero cause to believe a single word that comes out of her mouth after that. Besides which, that’s a moot point when I can’t do a class without the books you signed your name promising to provide me with. When was I supposed to get those, half way through the semester? Over a month has passed. I finally let it all go, but I still can't find work, I am about to be out of money. I started selling off anything of value but it won't be enough to sustain my family much longer. Lesson learned is that if you do VR&E do not quit your job until you have books in hand prior to classes starting.