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Marinesniper

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Everything posted by Marinesniper

  1. Thanks a lot Chu Lai! I just hope to GOD I'm not back here in about 6 months crying my eyes out and beating myself up because I made the wrong decision..but sometimes you have to grab life by the balls and just make a decision..which is what I did...anyways...I've jumped in the water, now it's time to work on keeping my head above it..:)
  2. Yep...you were right Pete! I think the counselor is talking about going with the Independent Living Program..which still allows me to go to school to earn my degree..either way, you were right and everything works out...it's just too bad I looked like an ass before I found all this out..oh well...I've done that more than once in life, as I'm sure most of you could tell..Either way...it's done now and over..so we can move on..:) Thanks for your advice and help Pete..:)
  3. Yep, I agree with ya totally Chu Lai...I was just letting everyone know what I decided to do.. I am now at ease with my decision, but I wanted to let everyone know what Comp & Pension, not Vocational Rehabilitation said just in case anyone else might be wondering what the VA's official stance is concerning the situation. I already apologized profusely for my earlier outburst, and I think I have made it a point to abundantly thank everyone here for taking time out of their day to answer my questions and share their experiences with me..By the way..I wasn't looking for the answer the "I" wanted..what's with that response? I took the information that everyone gave me, checked up on it, processed it and made my decision...isn't that what an informed person is supposed to do? Since when is acting on information looking for the right answer that I want? Not sure what I did to ruffle your feathers, but lighten up, Francis ok? lol...Anyways...whatever happens now is my doing or undoing..and I am at peace with that decision and will deal with whatever happens..
  4. Hello Everyone, I just thought those of you who were following my case would like to receive a little update as to what I have found out. In light of all the information I have been receiving from various sources over the past few days I decided to go straight to the horses mouth and contacted a representative at 1-800-827-1000 (VA HOT-LINE) and spoke with a representative in the Compensation & Pension department. I spoke with Harmony, who examined my service records and informed me that she could see nothing to indicate that there would be any negative repercussions from me applying for or attending Vocational Rehabilitation. According to her, the only way that I could have my benefits reduced/revoked would be if a doctor put in my medical records that he felt my medical condition had improved, and he felt that I needed to have my condition reviewed for re-evaluation. She further stated that the only way a doctor would enter something in my records would be if a date had been set for my condition to be re-evaluated, which there was no date currently set for a re-evaluation. She stated to me that in her opinion, and she stated that she has seen literally HUNDREDS OF THOUSANDS of veterans take advantage of this program and attend Vocational Rehabilitation under circumstances similar to mine, that she feels I have no reason to worry about my benefits being re-evaluated or lowered for any reason based simply on my attending vocational rehabilitation. In other words, attending vocational rehabilitation alone is not grounds for anyone to bring actions against me to try to re-evaluate my disability ratings. She also stated that as long as my Vocational Rehabilitation counselor felt that I was ready and able to attend the program that there should be no reason that I should not be able to attend, and that there should be no reason that my disability ratings should be negatively impacted because of that either. Having Checked in to all that, I feel pretty comfortable now proceeding with my application for Vocational Rehabilitation. I spoke with my counselor today, who encouraged me to apply and told me that he felt very strongly that I had a good chance of being accepted and that he would like to have me attend courses this fall for one semester on a trial basis to see how I do. He said the the ultimate goal is NOT employment for me, but to improve my quality of life by training me in an area that would allow me to be able to do something that is as a hobby that is therapeutic and would allow me to be productive and even earn a little income on a part-time basis. He said it is his belief that this goal does NOT violate my P&T disability status and therefore should not put my disability rating in danger. My counselor, although very cautious, seems very optimistic that I could benefit from this program. He tells me that as long as my doctors agree that I am ready that he is willing to give me the opportunity to attend the program! Now..having said all this..Can any of you think of anything that could be a hidden zinger here? Are there any hidden dangers I'm not thinking of or any areas I haven't covered here? I want to thank everyone again for all your responses, and I want to apologize for being so defensive. There is no excuse for my being so defensive, and I will do my best not do be that way again in the future. Your comments and suggestions are always welcome, even if I don't agree with them! I think I've typed enough at this point. If you can think of anything to add that might help me please feel free to let me know! Sincerely, Marinesniper
  5. Thanks Philip, I know what everyone is saying, and I do really appreciate ALL your comments...even if I sounded a bit ungrateful and defensive. One thing I failed to mention is that my kids have a lot of medical problems and in one year alone I had to cover the costs of THREE surgeries. Now, we all know that CHAMPVA helps cover some of that cost, but I still ended up with a LARGE amount of medical bills that I am still paying on, including one for my daughters stay in the ICU which totaled over $40k. It's not a matter of going to thrift shops instead of name brand stores, my wife MAKES my kids clothing to save us money, and we purchase the majority of our food through a church food program that provides us with a fairly large amount of food at a fairly reasonable price. I think we've cut about as many ends as we can, and I for one know that my undergarments and socks are probably holier than the pope's.. I agree that it is important to stretch your money when times are tough, but things can only stretch so far before they break in two! Anyways, point well taken and thank you everyone for your suggestions. Based on what I read from everyone over the weekend I sent an email to my counselor this morning asking him to withdraw my request for training unless he could guarantee that I would not lose my P&T status by participating in it. It's just not worth losing all of the benefits that I have just to feel "productive" and make a few extra bucks. I was wondering though...Is it possible to apply for Vocational Rehabilitation AFTER my 20 years of being on P&T disability has passed? If yes, then I could be assured that my benefits would remain in place while I received the training that I need to pursue my dreams....Maybe one of you knowledgeable people can answer that question for me?? Carlie: Thanks for your suggestions, and thanks for your kind and appropriate response. I'm sorry I was so defensive, but I had a hard day after finding out that my actions might result in my losing my benefits...I was in the middle of a major anxiety attack, and I guess I took it out on you..Anyways, I hope you accept my apology..
  6. Hello Philip, No, the kids don't have cell phones, they don't have an xbox 360 or a playstation 3, they don't have any of the fancy "toys" that other kids have. We don't take "exotic" vacations, don't have a bunch of extras around the house, about the only "extra" we have is cable television and the internet. We aren't living "high of the hog", which is what everyone seems to think. Is there ANYONE here that is raising MULTIPLE children that can relate to the expenses of raising FOUR children in today's society? It ain't cheap folks. Clothing, Schooling, sports, study materials, toys, all the incidentals that go along with raising a child...It all adds up pretty quickly. Heck...a mortgage alone is around $900-$1000 a month, then you add in a car payment of around $550 for a mini-van for someone who doesn't have stellar credit..then there is the cost of FOOD for four growing kids, three of whom are boys who eat anything that isn't alive and breathing...averaging about 3 gallons of milk a week minimum...THAT'S at least another $500+ a month...then there is GAS for running around to all the baseball games, medical appointments (to the VA for me..a few times a week sometimes)..That's ANOTHER $200-$250 a month...SO..so far are at around $2300 a month..Now, that doesn't include all the OTHER bills that come with owning a home...Utilities such as Electric...which runs around $300 a month even with the cost saving measures we are taking in our home AND keeping the thermostat up around 77 degrees all the time..Water...garbage...PHONE (Cell for the wife and I, and internet), cable..all the other expenses and savings...in the end we only have a few hundred dollars, IF we are lucky for savings and any "extras" we might want to spend on like getting the oil changed and such..About the only thing we could cut out would be our cell phones, which would be ridiculous because my anxiety levels would go through the Roof not being able to be in touch with my wife, and cutting the internet, which would be crazy because I depend on it so much for researching things like this...SO ANYONE WHO IS JUDGING THE WAY I SPEND MY MONEY...there you have it..I'm not running out and spending money like it's water...it just costs a LOT to have a family now days.. ALSO..don't worry, I've taken all your advice to heed...I'm contacting my VA rep tomorrow and telling him to withdraw my request..I can only hope that the VA GODS don't come down and take away from me everything I worked so hard to get all these years..Of course, if they take me in for an evaluation they will see that I am still totally unable to deal with society on a "normal" basis...But I digress...Shame on me for trying to better myself..I'll just sit back and suck the resources from our government and quit trying to do something silly like be productive and responsible.. Hello Philip, No, the kids don't have cell phones, they don't have an xbox 360 or a playstation 3, they don't have any of the fancy "toys" that other kids have. We don't take "exotic" vacations, don't have a bunch of extras around the house, about the only "extra" we have is cable television and the internet. We aren't living "high of the hog", which is what everyone seems to think. Is there ANYONE here that is raising MULTIPLE children that can relate to the expenses of raising FOUR children in today's society? It ain't cheap folks. Clothing, Schooling, sports, study materials, toys, all the incidentals that go along with raising a child...It all adds up pretty quickly. Heck...a mortgage alone is around $900-$1000 a month, then you add in a car payment of around $550 for a mini-van for someone who doesn't have stellar credit..then there is the cost of FOOD for four growing kids, three of whom are boys who eat anything that isn't alive and breathing...averaging about 3 gallons of milk a week minimum...THAT'S at least another $500+ a month...then there is GAS for running around to all the baseball games, medical appointments (to the VA for me..a few times a week sometimes)..That's ANOTHER $200-$250 a month...SO..so far are at around $2300 a month..Now, that doesn't include all the OTHER bills that come with owning a home...Utilities such as Electric...which runs around $300 a month even with the cost saving measures we are taking in our home AND keeping the thermostat up around 77 degrees all the time..Water...garbage...PHONE (Cell for the wife and I, and internet), cable..all the other expenses and savings...in the end we only have a few hundred dollars, IF we are lucky for savings and any "extras" we might want to spend on like getting the oil changed and such..About the only thing we could cut out would be our cell phones, which would be ridiculous because my anxiety levels would go through the Roof not being able to be in touch with my wife, and cutting the internet, which would be crazy because I depend on it so much for researching things like this...SO ANYONE WHO IS JUDGING THE WAY I SPEND MY MONEY...there you have it..I'm not running out and spending money like it's water...it just costs a LOT to have a family now days.. ALSO..don't worry, I've taken all your advice to heed...I'm contacting my VA rep tomorrow and telling him to withdraw my request..I can only hope that the VA GODS don't come down and take away from me everything I worked so hard to get all these years..Of course, if they take me in for an evaluation they will see that I am still totally unable to deal with society on a "normal" basis...But I digress...Shame on me for trying to better myself..I'll just sit back and suck the resources from our government and quit trying to do something silly like be productive and responsible..
  7. Thank you for your suggestions. However, I take offense to your comment about re-evaluating my financial priorities. You have NO idea what my current or past financial situation is or was. I am the SOLE provider for my family, minus a meager income that my wife brings in from her PART-TIME job. While you may seem to think that $4000/mo. is a COMFORTABLE level of living, I wonder if you currently have FOUR children that you are caring for in today's economy. The MEDIAN family income in my county is currently around $57,000 a year, which is about a THOUSAND dollars more than I make a month, so I wouldn't say that I am WELL OFF by any means. I don't know what your assumptions are, but I can tell you that I am NOT sipping champagne, eating caviar or smoking Cuban cigars while complaining about how I don't have enough money to raise my kids. ALSO..your explanation about about total impairment..that's ME to a tee...As I stated before, I am very LIMITED in what I can do, I am just trying to do what I CAN. It was my psychiatrist who told me that I could try to seek part-time work at some point, not the voices in my head. However, I have taken what you all have said in to consideration and I am going to withdraw my request for voc rehab assistance and sit every night now praying that I haven't called down the VA GODS onto my head to take away everything I have worked so hard to get up to this point. That should do my paranoia and hyper vigilance some good.. Guess it's off to the VA for some anxiety meds next week...So much for trying to be a productive member of society..
  8. Hi Guys, Sorry about the long post...I will tone it down in the future with more breaks. Let me start by answering the specific questions I was asked: Charlie asked the following questions: 1. For clarification, are you SC'd for mental health at a scheduler 100 percent plus additional SC'd disabilities? answer: I am 100% P & T Schedular for PTSD PLUS additional SC'd disabilities at around 60%. 2. Have you ever considered doing some volunteer work in an environment that would be suitable to your disabilities? answer: I do volunteer work at my church on Sundays doing various things that I am able to do with the disabilities that I have. Philip Rogers also asked the following: 1. Is your "need" an artistic one or a financial one??? answer: While I do receive both SSDI and my 100% + SMC from the VA I am raising 4 children and my wife is only able to work a few hours a day due to the nature of her employment and the fact that we only have one car. We are able to get by, but money is tight and we could use more of it to do a little more "thriving" and a little less "surviving"... 2. Anyway, good luck!!! Personally, I wouldn't risk losing my VA comp, which you could be doing. answer: THIS is why I am here...I'm trying to find out what I need to do to best protect myself from losing my P&T status. Keep in mind that my VA Psychiatrist has written in my medical records that it is her opinion that I will NEVER be able to work full-time EVER again due to the nature of my PTSD/Anxiety disorder and Major Depression. She has further stated that I would be able to pursue part-time work at some time, but that successful completion of such work should NOT be construed as an indication that my PTSD has been cured or lessened. She stated that just because I am doing good in one particular area does NOT mean that my PTSD has improved or changed in any way for the better. I am hoping that these kinds of entries in my medical records would offer me some kind of protection from revocation of my P&T status. My biggest question I guess is whether or not I should just wait to apply for Voc Rehab until my 20 years has passed. As much as it would KILL me to wait that long, I would be willing to do it if it is the only way to protect my status. I just can't believe that the VA would rather have me sit around and do nothing while they pay me rather than try to work at least part-time and be a productive member of society. Keep in mind that I could NEVER work a "Normal" job. The only way I could work at all is if it was a job that was either out of my home, or done in an environment where I was by myself or around only a few people at a time! Anyways, thanks for your help...There are so many extenuating circumstances to my situation, and I managed to read quite a few articles last night regarding how my specific case SHOULD be protected from revocation of benefits in any way...But in the end I guess it is just a crap shoot isn't it? Thanks again for your time, and I look forward to hearing from you all in the very near future! Sincerely,, Jeff Crockett
  9. Hello Everyone, First of all I would like to thank EVERYONE who has taken the time to respond to my numerous questions in the past. I have had nothing but very informative and caring responses from the users on this board, and your comments have always helped me work through whatever issue it is I was dealing with at the time. Having said that I have a new question that I would like to present to the Hadit community. I am currently rated as 100% P&T for Major Depressive Disorder w/Anxiety Attacks AND PTSD, as well as SMC for other disabilities totaling approximately 60% (Sleep Apnea @ 50%, Tinnitus @ 10%, other disabilities at approx 10%). I was initially granted an award of 10% back in 1999 when I initially separated from the USMC, and I was attending Nursing School through the Vocational Rehabilitation program from around 2002-2004 when I had to drop out due to medical reasons. Shortly thereafter (approx 2005) my rating was increased to 100% P&T for PTSD and SMC was added for the additional 50%+. I did not return to my Nursing School due to the fact that I could not continue my clinical rotations while on narcotic pain meds that I am still taking today due to degenerative disc disease in my spine. I would like to add that the increase in my disability in 2005 was back dated to 1999, as it was found that these conditions existed during my time in service. I spoke with my VA Therapist about a year ago who stated that although I would never be able to work full-time ever again due to the severity of my PTSD, they did believe that I would at some point be able to pursue part-time employment at some point in the future. After much prayer and personal introspection I have realized that I believe I could pursue a career as a Patisserie/Bakery Chef decorating cakes out of my home on a part-time basis. Working out of my own home would allow me to pursue some type of gainful employment while working in an environment that would allow me to avoid the stressors and situations that aggravate/cause my PTSD and anxiety attacks. While it would be impossible to explain the nature of my disabilities, and how they keep me from being able to pursue gainful employment suffice it to say that I am unable to manage interpersonal and professional relationships with people in a working environment, and being around crowds causes severe panic attacks/feelings of being suffocated and my life being in danger. The ONLY way I can work would be in a situation where there are NOT a lot of people and I am NOT under direct supervision from an individual, AND I have a place that I can retreat to when things begin to get crazy. This is why working from home is such an ideal situation. Believe it or not, my Vocational Rehabilitation counselor was actually open to the idea of pursuing my education for the purpose of opening my own home based cake decorating business given the uniqueness of my disabilities, providing I could get signed off by my VA doctors stating that they feel I could handle the stressors of such a situation. OK...HERE IS MY QUESTION..Am I putting my 100% P&T at risk by applying for Voc Rehab? Can they take away my rating just for applying for Voc Rehab? Can I work part-time from my house and still maintain my 100% P&T rating? What are your recommendations regarding this whole situation? Once again, I thank you for your time and I realize that there are endless possibilities and answers to this question. Please answer the question to the best of your ability, and feel free to email me or ask me here should you require any further information. Sincerely Yours, Jeff Crockett
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