Hialeah

I hope someone can offer a workable suggestion. I have been attempting for 9 years to file a claim for PTSD due to multiple incidents of MST. I've made slow progress. I placed a phone call which confirmed the worthiness of my claim. I tried to enter the VA hospital and failed. Next accompanied by a nurse i did enter, only to leave. Several years later I barely made it in to get a va card made and receive a Rx for PTSD (Zoloft). During this my marriage failed due mostly to the PTSD. Years later after I lost my job (due to PTSD). I managed again only with a nurse helping me; to continue to get zoloft. Eventually, after losing my home, I managed to have a few visits with the head of the MST dept. This only after rescheduling my initial visit many times. I would have to leave when I would have major panic attacks just trying to sit in the waiting area. Eventually I was allowed to skip the initial processing and see the Dr. I only lasted a handful of times as I began having many sleepless nights and increased anxiety it wasn't worth it. Now my question. I was able to give accounts of many of the incidents to this Dr. There were multiple but she heard the majority. I don't have a record of actual reports of the incidents as I did not want anyone to know. However I was seen multiple times for "stomach problems". I was even admitted to the base hospital and "surprise, surprise" My symptoms went away and the tests showed nothing! I was given 2 weeks conv. leave on release, which I recently read in my record was not for any "medical" reason. The Dr stated that he felt my symptoms were psychological in nature! I also have in record where I went to sick call and asked to be tested for std's. I stated that my "boyfriend" was rumored to have something. I did not have a boyfriend. To my relief the tests came back all negative. However ironically the Dr. had started me on antibiotics due to my "exam". I appeared in severe pain and what he did see was very "irritated". This Dr never suspected anything. Since my 9 years of service I have been admitted by ambulance to the cardiac wing for observation from the er, only to find that my heart was quite healthy. I think these were major panic attacks. This was when my Dr started me on zoloft. I also suffer from migraines (1st diagnosed in service) high bloodpressure and asthma. My stomach problems have also continued. ***Is it possible with current records and documents to file a claim without subjecting myself to the anxiety of once again visiting the VA? This is long but if anyone has any suggestions please help.(A major factor for me is that 1 indiv. involved retired near me, I barely leave my house for fear of seeing him.) I have lost basically everything. My marriage, job and home.

Is it worth asking the VA to pay for counseling outside the VA. I have tried for about 8 years attend counseling at the VA. Unfortunately I have panic/anxiety attacks every time I enter the VA. I can't handle entering the VA and the threat of seeing any veteran from my past that I feel I could not handle. My PTSD has caused the failure of my marriage and the loss of my job, house and any normal life. I have made many attempts and only made 4 appointments over the past 8 years. When I did make it, I was met outside and walked inside. This was still unbearable. My only partial relief is a large daily dose of zoloft! I would love to get help and possibly even submit a claim. I truly believe getting counseling away from the VA is my only chance. That will still be a challenge as being around males or any crowds is difficult. I just don't know if anyone knows if the VA has ever paid for this (I currently am unemployed) and how one goes about requesting it. Thank You for your time in reading this and any information, suggestions or guidance is greatly appreciated.