Sorry about your Tom. I have lost them before as well. I had a dry spell when Paul was alive - he was so allergic that it was a threat to his health to have an animal in the house. So for a long time I did not have any pets. After he died, I was given a cat, and adopted an adult male at the pound...got them both neutered and spayed, and when the third joined this family, I neutered him too, young in fact.
I eventually gave the female away as she was harrassed by the males and I hated to hear her scream. My boys don't wander far, are home every day, eat, sleep and play together. They have their own door too, which negates me having to have a cat box.
I am so sorry about your tom. Maybe he was not meant to be a 'living with a human' cat. Try to take solace in your kitten, but I know the loss is hard to take.
akwidow