Jump to content


Senior Chief Petty Officer
  • Content Count

  • Donations

  • Joined

  • Last visited

  • Days Won


Status Updates posted by retiredat44

  1. totally exhausted and sick almost al the time still. Sleeping a lot,, need sleep a lot. Can't see doctors,t he VA quit seeing us, along time ago and with this virus stuff, no help at all. My legs suffering in severe pain, and sometimes for weeks at a time I have to sleep with my feet touching the floor or else I can't sleep and scream in agony. PAD? I begged them to help with my legs. That seemed to have started when I was in a hospital bed most of a year unable to eat, and on a feeding tube, and unable to walk for one year. One year ago, in the summer, I had severe bronchitis and green slime filling my airways and puking green slime with high fever, the va refused to see me, and went to a local hospital where they took xrays and found bronchitis. With this virus the va basically told us to stay away and not go there.

    1. Buck52


      Go your your local E.R...Once your there have someone with you call your vamc  or ask the office clerk to call them and let the VA know your at the E.R.  the person they talk with at the VA with will give the ok or they will send a VA Ambulance to come pick you up and take you to the VAMC

      So be sure you have your VAMC phone #

      Due to this coronavirus pandemic  this is all I know to tell you.  if your taking all your medications and keep warm and drink water and try to eat something that you can eat.. that's about all I know you can do,?

      ,if you have a fever take fever reduce meds and maybe take a wet damp cloth and place on your face/for-head.

      I am sorry to hear your sick.

    2. retiredat44


      for now I am just regular sick,,, last summer was the summer of sever bronchitis, and they would not see me.. other people go on summer vacation... I spend it sick in bed... just saying the va will not help, and with the virus thing,, they won't help at all.... My legs are a little better,,, but if they go back to the pad suffering....  I don't know if my legs need some meds to stop the blood from clotting... or severe muscle cramps that keep me from not being able to sleep... just that the va should be helping us, and not keeping up away and refusing to help... why punish us because of the virus... next bad episode I will not have time to beg for help... I go down and feel like the va is punishing us vets... like we are suppose to not get sicker until the virus is gone... which is crazy...I hope they get my benefits finished so they can pay my daughter's schooling before I die... once I get too sick and die my family will not be able fight for the last 10% which would fix the problems of her school costs the va never paid... or maybe there are clogs in the legs which means something will come up and give me a stroke.... it gets very bad... and excruciating... at least I have not gotten that virus.... in a very small town away from the big cities.. Thanx for caring...I will get up and go outside,,, for a few minutes... I will get very tired and come back in pretty soon,,, cya later...

  2. I still had some remands, and had a C&P for several issues January 2020, some issues going back to claims from the 1990's. I haven't wrote anything down in the forms, comments, because I don't know anything, yet.

    1. retiredat44


      the va sent me an ssoc for the remaining issues, as they doctor shopped and kept sending me to c&p's until they got the answers they wanted.. like 10 c&p's over the last few years asking the same questions. the BVA would not answer my email about my new ssoc, and they finally answered saying they are all screwed up because of the virus and cannot respond yet, they are tying to get the employees to do some work from home. I sent in the tdiu, as I stated in my other thread from a couple days ago. the same tdiu I have asked them about and put ion my forms and begged for help over the decades, and did it myself,,, no more waiting for help. And faxed it to I guess it is in Wisconsin on the address and fax number on the official form. They are so invested in stopping me from getting full benefits they are trying every dirty trick.

  3. it looks like they low balled me bad on my 1151 win with my necrotizing pancreatitis.

    I have like 5 issues,,,

    1-the 1151 was a pancreas procedure that failed (won)

    2-depression from illness and pain (won)

    3-skin issues remanded (eczema skin swells too) remanded

    4-gastritis and ibs from active duty originally filed and denied 1997. (remanded)

    5-myosotis (muscles fill out, flab, but no power, no nutrients from the intestinal and pancreas disease, so they are very weak) remanded

    6-neurological (the neurologists said it was Parkinsons... but originally had taken meds on active duty when I got sick from chemicals and took meds for tremors) but I lost al controls of my limbs and had to be bathed and moved by others until I got strength up and got some of the limbs control back, but lose control of my limbs when doing strenuous activity (remanded)


    I was at 60 % for many year (50% headaches plus 10% for bad knee patella from active duty)

    now with the 1151 win from the pancreas surgery issues (was in VA hospital 6 months fighting for my life after they cut the wrong parts) plus depression, my rating looks like it went to only 90%

    Of course the remands are still out there..

    Was I low balled ?


    (I downloaded my benefits letter and found this number out.)

    I sent my POA a copy of my BVA decisions.


    Rhetorical and depressed, who can one with 1151 with necrotizing pancreatitis, spend 1 year in a wheel chair and in bed, no chance of any cure ever. Very sick and in severe pain every day.

    60% to 90% low balled? and with a few more issues in remand...


    any more advice?


  4. The Board made a decision on your appeal

    The Board of Veterans’ Appeals sent you a decision on your appeal. Here’s an overview:


    The judge granted the following issues:

    • Service connection, Major depressive disorder
    • Benefits as a result of VA error (Section 1151)
  5. stupid b.s. va appeals status still says takes 1-2 months.... going on 4 years of 1-2 months.... dirtbags, they can't even lie with a straight face

  6. 10-06-19

    VA and my doctor when I lived in the VA:
    note: I suffered greatly and I had unexplained internal bleeding and six months of fighting fo rmy life. the doctors cut into a part of my body, that connects the liver and pancreas, 
    when I signed a paper giving permission to drain a large cyst onthe head of my pancreas. The internal bleeding lasted along time and went sepsis. I now see this doctor did un approved studies and I was one off the victims 
    at the VA. I had many, many conversations and exams done with Dr.Ho. I wrote along letter this past Summer, to the VA and Dr. Ho. about my disease and care, and the VA may have known about this criminal  case, but kept it from me.
    The VA in San Diego knew me, and sided with me and wrote me aletter I submitted to the BVA Judge shwoing that the health problems I suffer from the surgeries and care 'More than Likely' were from the the procedures from that VA Hospital.
    The BVA, who is suppose to make decsions on my disability claim ahs been draggin their feet and at decade hass passed while they drag their feet. The BVA also has other letter, (Independant Medical Opinions) that are used by legal arguements 
    showing professional opinions on whter some it either less like and more than likd=ely caused by this or that. The VA has al the time and deep pockets to get al the professional opinions paid for by the government and a Veteran much seek and 
    search out, pay for these out of their own pocket, and can cost into the tens of thousands of dollars, so the deck is stacked against cveterans who file disability claims. The VA , BVA Board of Veterans Appeals (sort of like a high court)
    for Veterans, which has almost the final word, with another court which can be apepaled at great expense if you can provide more evidence. Evidence is used like evidence to prove soemthing, sort of liie cycincally guilty uhntil proven innocent.
    So, I now find this exculpatory evidence that a big doctor who worked on me (for a long time) is in trouble for unauthorized medical work and studies on sick veterans. Me being one of those very sick veterans that has liver and pancreas disease and has procedures done by this
    very same doctor for along period of time as botu an inpatient and outpaitent.

    The short of it, if the VA/BVA knew and didn't tel me while I fight for my case, it is evil and wrong, if they didn't know they should have known. As I suiffered greatly over al these years and the same symptoms as described in the investigation.
    Seven years of whistleblowing
    After learning the latest on the congressional hearing, Buck told her story for what seemed like the hundredth time.
    She was a liver researcher at the San Diego VA in 2013 — and a member of the VA’s research safety review board — when Dr. Samuel Ho proposed a study on veterans with alcoholic liver disease that would examine leftover biopsy tissue from the ill patients.
    As Buck read the research proposal, she grew concerned that Ho planned to perform medically unnecessary liver biopsies for the sake of research, putting the patients at risk of internal bleeding and other complications.
    Buck contacted her supervisors, warning them not to approve the study. It was approved anyway.
    “I was hopeful for like, I guess 15 minutes,” Buck said. “But when I started talking to the people that could have stopped this, they just kept patting me on the head pretty much and telling me, ‘It’s okay. You convinced us. We’re not going to do it that way now. But now we’re going to do it this way.’”
    Over the next five years, she and Chojkier reported their allegations to at least three federal agencies, were interviewed twice by the Office of the Medical Inspector and sent complaints to other research institutions involved in the study.

    Months after the medical inspector’s office issued a report on her allegations in early 2018, Ho retired from the VA and took a job at a university in Dubai. He and the VA researcher who took over the project, Dr. Bernd Schnabl, would not comment for this story, nor would a San Diego VA spokeswoman.
    The OMI’s investigation concluded that “no substantial danger to public health” occurred at the San Diego VA. But when the special counsel’s office reviewed that investigation, it said the OMI hadn’t fully addressed the whistleblowers’ allegations.
    The OMI had already issued two reports, but the special counsel’s office told the OMI reinvestigate and produce a third report, which is not publicly available yet.
    “These reports focus in so narrowly on small questions and miss the big questions, and it’s seriously concerning,” said C.K. Gunsalus, director of the National Center for Professional & Research Ethics, after reviewing the OMI’s investigation into the liver study. “They all have most of the hallmarks of really bad investigative reports that miss the mark.”
    An internal report from the San Diego VA obtained by inewsource in February verified Buck and Chojkier’s main complaint: medically unnecessary liver samples were taken from sick veterans without their permission. The report said “serious noncompliance occurred” during the research, which put patients at risk — contrary to what the medical inspector’s report had said.
    “It wasn’t professional,” Buck said about the OMI’s investigation. “It wasn’t what the veterans deserve. It wasn’t what the whistleblowers deserve. It wasn’t what the country deserves. I can’t imagine what they were thinking.”

    1. 63Charlie


      I hope you file a federal tort action about this medical malpractice.

      Frightening ordeal knowing you were used as a guinea pig.

      That is enough to make anyone have PTSD once they learn what was REALLY going on.


    2. retiredat44


      I am not sure what the hell is going on,, the bva has my case, and today my representative said she would send this info to the judge... she is no sure if they made a decision yet... I could get any lawyer to give me the time of day before...

      I have more to say.. and am suspicious about why the va gi clinic where both I was and that doctor wrote me an IMO a few months ago.... but maybe they knew and wrote the imo on my behalf because they know more about what happened to me... I sent a note to the investigators, not sure if they will contact me. I hate looking and talking to lawyers... the imo the va got against me basically said shit happens... that was before I found this.... they said even though they cut the wrong part and I never signed a release for anything other that to drain a cyst, accidently cutting t tube was still possible.... yeah right and this doctor is cutting off parts for his Frankenstein project and the va claims protects him... If only someone who knew what to could help... anytime I asked no one would pay attention.... Thanx for the thoughts...

  7. 1-2 months for decision, says my BVA pages....

    but, that was many moons ago....



  8. Issues

    Currently on appeal
    • Service connection, myositis
    • Service connection, Major depressive disorder
    • Service connection, Irritable bowel syndrome
    • Service connection, Eczema
    • Service connection, Parkinson's disease
    • Benefits as a result of VA error (Section 1151)
    • New and material evidence to reopen claim for service connection, Irritable bowel syndrome
    • New and material evidence to reopen claim for service connection, Eczema
    • New and material evidence to reopen claim for service connection, Parkinson's disease
    • Service connection, Limitation of leg motion (flexion)
  9. You posted a question in 2012 asking about the TCE link and Parkisons.. well, it looks like they finally linked my exposure after all these years.. it still hasn't been rated, and more contentions to go... at least I can finally answer you with a better answer...

  10. I found more info on my claim, seems way more up to date:



  11. I hate reading my case, and my files, it breaks me up, total despair from the hell.... it tears me apart...

    and I know I sound like I am whining but everyone has a breaking point...


    I was reading through a couple large boxes of my medical records and see the info on my docket number, and what they have written for the case, the judge, the BVA, etc..


    I lived it, so when they write it loos so twisted and facts are often wrong, and look twisted to benefit them.... they also leave things out, gloss over, or make it look like am a bad guy...


    there are a few instances where the judge did help me. I think, I really can't tell until all is done.

    It rips my apart mentally makes me want to just fold up... It to much,,,, too, too much... it really hurts me to see an organization write whatever they want knowing that no one can change it, only they can. So, anything wrong, anything that should be change for the sake of decency, honesty, or benefits of the doubt is left as is never to be corrected.  It is like they consider us all liars…. but what really hurts us al is the way they have went from treating vets in wars that came before us, they look at us like we are less honorable and lie more.. and so they will make sure we get screwed, just because they can......if I am getting screwed, it has to be everyone..... it just can't be me? Hell, I never reported every injury, yet the ones I did report and have medical documents are still discarded and treated like the doctors lied too...

    again, maybe my words will not be needed, maybe I will be vindicated... but I can honestly say given what I have been through, I could not have done much better in my fight... there were times I should have been going to see some BSO filing documents, but there were time I tried and was turned away... because they didn't have time or they just sucked, or they were no longer there and I was handed off like garbage into the trash.. lots of time lawyers saw my case and either told me they didn't want a case that took more than 1 or 2 years max... or they just would not talk... could not find doctors for IMO's no matter how much I tried.. and I was trying all while being extremely sick, in a wheel chair or fighting for my life.. The doctors for the IMO's were arrogant expensive and refused to follow the directing I needed for format. They were charging $2,0o0 dollars up front and $600.00 an inch, where I have many feet of documents.


    I read my BVA docket and remands and it breaks me heart. I lived through all of  the hell, and the words do not convey it. Just pages of labs, doctors notes, progress reports... and like I said the BVA Judge, the VA, RO, VARO< well they do not read the documents, so what good did it do to sign the releases. I even sent some back as new, they didn't read them, so they qualify as new. At least that is my take on evidence. Evidence like I am on trial for being sick and injured.


    MY father got out of the Navy at the end of Korea, never went to a doctor, 3o year later, he filed, they talked to one doctor and they gave him benefits, I spent my whole life trying to get help from doctors and they just screw me. That gives me the impression that older vets got more help and respect, newer vets the shaft. I could be wrong.

    I read my case was finally put on a faster tract, Well, the last filings are 10 years old,, that is faster? (supposedly they put my case on the faster BVA tract, sped up  because of my circumstances of have deadly diseases.) I don't know, seems like it's on the slow boat. The surgeons honestly led me to believe that patched me up and I only had a few shorts years left. But I made it 2x longer.. I don't know why. But I can only lay around too sick to enjoy life. But I try a little. Food and drink and exercise al make me sick,,, doesn't leave much.

    1. 63Charlie


      44, if you didn't have depression before, this kind of stuff would be enough to cause it.

      Everybody has a breaking point.

    2. vetquest


      Sir, you are not worthless as the VA tries to make you feel.  Reading our case files is a nightmare sometimes.  We have gone through so much and we believe we cannot wait another day.  It is a hopeless feeling knowing that some judge sequestered in a federal building has complete control of our lives. 

      There is good news though.  That is that you have worth and a reason to be.  You have to find this in yourself and it is not easy.  If you do not, even winning your case will not make you feel better.  I have experienced this myself.  Please find some little joy in life and know you have worth.

  12. I get so confused about the interaction and when the BVA sends remands back and forth... for a while, after I have my BVA hearing with the judge (my memory fading but I think it was 4 years ago..)..., he kept sending remands back to the VARO. I told the judge the VARO never read my documents.. so I sent the BVA some copies of summaries that were in the boxes of documents that VA already had for many years, but I would bet my life they were never read. I also resent the dental surgery documents (the judge told me I should, but also told him they refused me plea for help when t he intestinal disease destroyed my teeth 20 years ago, the surgeons wrote in the dental report that they were destroyed by the intestinal disease ). so anyways, sent the BVA those copies ( early last year) and this is the first year I never got an SSOC back from the VARO. Like I said, I only resent documents that they va never read, it was only way I could think of making them read them...By April of every year for the last few years I either had a C&P, an SSOC, denial, or other, this year (April in five days) and nothing has been sent to me, from BVA or the VARO, which means something is changed and I haven't been sent anything and no SSOC, which means to me, no denial. 

    When I looked at the Gov website,, I only see about remands in the past.... they always look like they are years behind in whatever they put on that website for our case.

    Apparently, I could get a letter from the BVA ? Or a letter from VARO, or both, or none? it could be today, tomorrow or ten years....

    If only they had one set of rules we could understand...

    Well at least I didn't get one of those SSOC's, which I suppose is good news,,, but the best news would be, that this two decade long nightmare would be over.... and I get what they stole...


    btw, I thought they would speed up your case if you have a deadly disease,,, wasn't so with me... (I asked them for in a letter)

    Necrotizing Pancreatitis, Budd Chiari Syndrome (liver disease), Splenic Vein Thrombosis and more.

    1. vetquest


      I would call the 1-800 number and find out what they say about the current status of your case.  Sometimes on vets.gov they have issues and you only see the closed appeals.

    2. retiredat44


      yeah,, I am scared of asking the 1-800 .... I honestly feel like I am still breaking... yes I hear you... I should,, I have no courage left... I feel like the times when the doctors told me there was no more hope and just count the days.... yes, this happened to me a few times...

  13. looks like my appeals went to the BVA judge, for the last time. after two remands that took two years... I sent in a bunch of new documents in to the judge (through my P.O.A.), I did not trust the R.O. to read them, or care about them. I feel better with the BVA judge than the whole R.O. that screwed it all up since day one. The BVA judge get's it back in his hands in April 2018.



  14. Necrotizing pancreatitis, Portal and Splenic vein thrombosis. neurological disorders, uncontrollable movements. Spent 6 months in a VA hospital bed 2008, year in a wheel chair, learned to walk and eat again after 6 months on feeding tube. Latest 2017, Now add Epstein-Barr virus, more tests show it too, as I knew my immune system is bad. and am too sick often to do much at all.... still have to go to the liver clinic later this month, need a liver biopsy. Spleen is enlarged too. 

    1. Buck52



      I hope they get you well and feeling better  stay in your treatment plan

      I wish you better health buddy.

  15. I am still awaiting for the BVA to make decisions,, my claims have already been returned from remand to the BVA. Awaiting...... my BVA hearing was March 2016.

    1. retiredat44


      MY original VA claim filing was in 1995-1997. Next group of filing 2009, after 6 month hospitalization.



  16. I have a bunch of C&P Exams to go to, for the remand. What pisses me off is that not only have I been under their care for 20 years, I lived as an inpatient for 6 months in the VA hospital... you would think that living there a long time would be enough! My C&P exams start this week and next week.

    1. retiredat44


      I went to 3 C&P exams, and they were finished.. I know a couple should have been favorable, at least I thought so...

      Now they called me back and told me I have to redo one of those, they said that doctor is no longer there! I think they are trying to stop me from having a favorable exam! Has anyone had to go back and re-do an exam?

    2. retiredat44


      One of the exams, neuro the doctor was a prick and would not listen...

      One doctor English was his second language , I could barely understand his thick Indian accent. I think the C&P exams are rigged, and a scam.

  17. here is a link to a copy of the SOC they just sent me, I am trying to figure out how to send private messages here.. https://www.dropbox.com/s/srtkk0tu7oqfvx2/VA_Form9_Use_This_edit_scan0003.pdf?dl=0

    1. retiredat44


      dammit, some pages are upside down, and have to be flipped other side, it canned both sides of the forms, so they have to be flipped using the adobe reader, or other... anyways I have to fill out the Form 9 and asks which evidence and type of hearing... I am having great problems thinking...

  18. waiting for my DRO hearing decision, on at least 3 out of 6 issues... I think at least 3 were no dendied at the dro hearing, the other three maybe going to BVA.. but need verification some frakkin day whent he VA DRO actually gives a decison ont he three that never got an SOC... one year ago was that hearing..

  19. waiting for my DRO hearing decision, on at least 3 out of 6 issues... I think at least 3 were no dendied at the dro hearing, the other three maybe going to BVA.. but need verification some frakkin day whent he VA DRO actually gives a decison ont he three that never got an SOC... one year ago was that hearing..

  20. still waiting for a frakkin decision, sent a letter 2x to my vso asking her to find outif I qualify for my case to be advanced due to illness, no reply... from anyone..

  21. still waiting for a frakkin decision, sent a letter 2x to my vso asking her to find outif I qualify for my case to be advanced due to illness, no reply... from anyone..

  22. Diverticulitis is my latest diagnosis, adding to my already long list of misery...

  23. Diverticulitis is my latest diagnosis, adding to my already long list of misery...

  24. in month 10 of waiting for the DRO to make a decsion on my DRO hearing from Dec. 8, 2010. Just how long does it frakkin take to make a decision? wtf are they doing at the San Diego Region Office?

  25. in month 10 of waiting for the DRO to make a decsion on my DRO hearing from Dec. 8, 2010. Just how long does it frakkin take to make a decision? wtf are they doing at the San Diego Region Office?

  • Create New...

Important Information

{terms] and Guidelines