aloneintx

Thank you all for your comments. I am trying to build up the nerve to go back in. My fear comes from a couple of different things. One being I do not want to be medicated like I was. Second, what if they feel my issues are not valid enough for PTSD? Am i just being a wimp? Yes I was involved in a few different fights, did get my CAB but the hardest part for me was not when i was injured but when a Marine was injured and I had to get him out of the vehicle, he was severely burned and skin sluffed off while trying to move him. This was not even the worst combat I saw or was a part of but for some reason this is what haunts my dreams and waking days. What if i go in to the VA and they think im a shitbag trying to get free crap or something. I know this sounds stupid but I prided myself for being a hard worker when I was in and never wanted to be seen as a slacker or someone who cant hack it. Anyway Thanks again for all the help.

Please forgive me if this is something that is common knowledge or just plain stupid. I have been home for a little over three years and when i first got home I went to the local VA for help with some issues I was having, such as sleep, nightmares, hearing things etc. I was unable to see a Dr but went through the initial screening and was put on anti-psychotics. I was very unhappy with this as 1. I dont think i am psychotic & 2. they made me very sleepy and out of it. After being away from home for so long the last thing I wanted to do was sit on a couch at home and veg out. I called back and tried to speak with the Dr or assistant but only was able to leave a message. Long story short the appointment was three months out and I did not want to take those meds while waiting. After that experience I chose not to go back and tried to deal with it on my own. 3 years later I still have not recovered and after a wake up call I decided it was time to get help from a professional. I do not want to go to back to the VA and have them try to drug me up again and don't really know where to go. I have been having issues with my job with missing work and need to get some help. Also do i have any protection at my job? Any input you would share will help.