mrs rockman (widow of vet)

Here is a big congratulations coming your way! Now you can rest some and enjoy your well deserved win!! I am so excited for you Sparkle. Also getting your SSD in three months is another great win for you! Enjoy the new grand baby. You are getting blessed from all sides! God Bless, Celia, Mrs. R

I wonder how I could go about getting a copy of this issue. We used to get updates a long time ago. It seems like after we started filing claims, we quit getting any copies. I think that they did not want people to be informed. Now, I see they are looking at chronic lung disease among Vietnam Veterans. That sure would include David. Celia

Ralph, you just hang in there and I know God is helping you get through each day. Rockman also dealt with so much depression and PTSD and I felt so helpless a lot of the time. I knew when he needed to be by himself and with his own thoughts. When you said that you were sad for me and proud for me, it made me want to cry, but to cry in a good way not in a bad way. I just want to make sure you know you did not upset me at all!!! I play to stay here on Hadit, but I am such a small part and there are so many good people on here that makes this entire Hadit Place really work!! God Bless You also! Celia

Thanks Ralph and I know that God is good and I know he blesses you! Celia

Berta, you yourself know what a relief it is to a widow to have her DIC completed. I do consider myself very fortunate with my "short" wait, for you had to wait way way too long for yours. I feel so guilty when you hear of other widows along with yourself that had to wait such a long time! "By all means work on the NOD but enjoy this Victory toooooooooooooo" Yes, I will work on it, but I forgot where I saw on here recently about filling out the paper for me being the claimant. I will send it in myself, for the VSO says do not do a NOD, for I will be taking time away from other vet's claims that have big families. And yes, I will enjoy myself!! "I know the feeling. This is what they earned for US spouses. Veterans to me, more than the civilian population , seem to care very much about their spouses if they die." Veterans are a very special special breed!! I can say that I was very fortunate to have a great husband like David. Yes, his PTSD would drive me up the wall sometimes, but you know, that was just who he was after returning home. I never knew the kind of person he was before he went to Vietnam, for I did not meet him until 7 years after. I know I was told that when he came home, he was not the same person. When our guys come home, they do not come home completely. The books from the Vet Center ("Once a Warrior, Always a Warrior- in the guy's group and "Tears of a Warrior"-in my support group) and the weekly support groups have helped me trememdously try and understand PTSD. With understanding this, it helped me understand David more and watch out for "triggers". This does not go in this forum, but I just wanted to add it. I will also post later on another claim that I have until March 1st to do a NOD and I will need advice. They have on the award letter with service connection for the cause of death- they put "cause of death is shown as cardiac arrest due to systolic heart failure due to pulmonary hypertension due to pulmonary fibrosis. The last two conditions were previously denied!! "I might have a diet Mountain dew and a brownie to celebrate with you......oooops maybe not- I just had my cholesterol blood work done and headed straight to Mc Donalds for an enormous breakfast of cholesterol!!!! Gotta admit, it was delicious....." Thanks for the celebration thought anyway! It is the thought that realy counts. Now, I am just waiting on the heater man to figure out why my house is taking so long to heat. With low temps tonight and possible ice, I would much prefer a warm and toasty house. Celia

pr, No, he did not have this. At the time we got a better deal without it and the bank we went through did not offer credit life. Looking back, we should have checked other banks. You know, with him being terminal at the time, it was a hard subject to bring up. At that time his lungs were stabilized and his heart was not as bad. He had a very hard time bringing up how things would be after he was gone and I can understand it.I wish we had, but I cannot look back.I am just so grateful about him going to such lengths to get me to a good place financially so he would not worry so much. I know he worried, but he would never let you in on that. I will post later on doing a NOD on his A& A that was denied two weeks before he passed away. God is good, I know that! Celia

I had this feeling that I needed to go online and check my bank balance this morning....and THERE IT WAS- MY DIC RETRO!! I am so excited and this has taken so much off of me. I just want to dance! Now, as soon as I know that the monies are not going anywhere, I will apply it all towards my car balance. Rockman bought me a new car the end of December 2011. This is the first new car that we have ever bought.You see Rockman wanted to make sure that I had a reliable car to drive and that I would not need a new car for a long long time.He was always thinking of me, not himself. The new Ford was just a tad bit more than a used car with mileage. This payment will bring my balance down to a very manageable amount. As you can see, I am so excited that I want to shout!! Relieved and thankful, Celia, Mrs. R

Berta, it sure would be nice if they would include widows....don't see this happening. I guess we are still supposed to call the 800# and sit on hold for hours and be grateful for their help! There is definitely something wrong with this picture..... Celia

John, the original CPAP/Bpap mask that they gave to Rockman did not fit. The doc said that he may need a large, but his appointment time was up. He said to go home and see how it works. The mask kept popping off and keeping him awake. He got more sleep ( if you can call waking up every 1 1/2 - 2 hours sleep) before he got the machine. We called and they ordered another one and it was mailed directly to our house. That one worked great for the little time he used it. Have they tried out different kinds of masks on you? Have you ever tried elevating your head at night? It may or may not work for you, but it did help David. I just put a folded up blanket under the mattress on his side. I have never heard of Provent sleep therapy, but now I am curious. I hope you can get things straightened out. Let us know how you are doinng. Mrs. R

Berta, We both had wills drawn up, but even though it stipulates things when one or both of us passes, it would be a good idea to go on and have a new will drawn up. Our local attorney is the one who did our wills and it would be easier if he did it all at once. One stop shopping with someone you know who is knowledgeable is a good idea- thanks for the suggestion. Until you mentioned it, I had not thought about getting the organ donor info in writing. That postman should have been hung up to dry, for anything he delivers is supposed to be confidential. After your 3 years, I am sure you were not a very happy camper to say the least. As far as your neighbor is concerned that wanted to borrow money from you....I cannot really say my thoughts and response to this on paper... Rest assured I did say words out loud after I read your post. I know once relatives and even friends (and now I really would not call them "friends") know about any monies that they may think you have received or may receive, they just come out from nowhere!! I keep everything to myself. Yes, Berta, I am being cautious, for at this time you cannot trust people. I have called ID that also announces who is calling. When the phone rings, I always look at who is calling. If I do not know who the person is, I simply will not answer the phone. Today I got a call and did not know who they were, so I let it go to voicemail. When I heard them leaving a message, then I found out it was the company that will be handling our company's merchant services. Then I was able to answer and take the call. I am always getting Realty company calls. The #1 caller is Rachel from Credit Card Services. Rachel is busy, for she calls for many many different companies ( or may I put it like it really is-"Scam Artist"). I am watching and I know widows are prime targets and I do not want to be another statistic! Thanks Berta and I know you know where I am coming from. Celia

You know, I never knew the Red Cross was a POA. You learn something new every day. If I get the signed copy, the I will be okay. I am getting ready to do a medical POA for me and a non-medical one so that I am covered. I will have more than one to sign it, since our daughter does not live in town. I have relatives that are going to help me draw them up. Celia

John,as much as I looked over the form, I never noticed anything missing. I know it is my big boo boo. I know I should have checked on it more. I called back at the end of the year; I think, but nothing was said about something missing. I know from now on, do an IRIS and maybe just maybe it will end up on someone's desk that will actually look at the file. You are fortunate you went in to view your file, otherwise you may still be waiting and waiting. You almost have to be standing directly in front of the person with big flash cards of your info and maybe they will look up at it. She said she was sending my file to the raters to see if I qualify. I told her that the 100% P&T letter was in with the claim and she said she knew about it. It is now a wait and see. I will be checking on it from time to time-trying to balance from not being too often to piss them off, but often enough to let them know that HEY, I AM STILL HERE"! Celia

Just an update- I finally got a hold of my TN VSO today. I asked him about the Fast letter 12-16 and he said that I had signed it and he had signed it. He is supposed to send me a copy for my records tomorrow. I do not remember signing one, but it is very possible that I did. I do not remember much at that time. I normally can remember signing things. At least I should get one for my files. Thanks everyone for your replys for my ridiculous questions! Celia, Mrs. R

As I have posted before, Milwaukee received my 534 form on 11/02/12. I knew that I would have to wait a long while before I heard anything at all- even a small peep. So far I have not even received the VCAA letter telling me if there was any additional information that they might need. When I called the 800# about two weeks ago, she did an IRIS inquiry. Okay, I know now it takes some time before you get a response. Well, yesterday Milwaukee called and said they had a question for me that I had left one question blank. I listed how many times David had been married and also me. The part that had date marriage ended-I put 09/02/12. Then where it had how marriage ended-I put Death. I never saw where it asked if I had remarried since the death of the veteran ( and neither did the VSO). I thought that after age 57 or maybe 59, that it had no bearing on things. So since they saw (no, they probably never read all of the 534 form) our marriage ended in death and that was my last marriage, they cannot do anything with the one line blank. I told her that we had done an IRIS and she basically said that had her look at my file. I wonder how long my file would have sat there in their "waiting trash bin" before someone would have decided to look at it!!! I did ask her about the approximate wait time and she said I would get a letter in 2-3 weeks. Another Waiting Game they play with us! Celia, Mrs. R

Just an update, I did call my POA, but had to leave a message. I will keep calling until they can tell me if I did sign the new form. They are not the most prompt in returning your calls. Thanks everyone for my not so smart question. I guess because I am anxious for monies to start coming in, I get a little wacky and worry too much. I am better now though. Celia

Thanks Pete!

john999, I understand about the medical POA, for we had that done way before Rockman got very sick. I went into our local bank one day and talked to them about our accounts and this was while David was still alive. I did want to make sure that no account would be frozen. We were good on all fronts. I knew it was better to get this all straight while he was still alive, just in case there was something that we needed to do. pr and T8r, " The poa ends with veteran and widow will have to fill out a new form herself. Also the new forms have to be signed by both veteran/widow and poa before they are recognized. The already established are grandfathered in." If the POA dies with the veteran, then where does" the grandfathered in" come into play? Why would I and the POA have to sign the new form then? Since the 800 Peggy girl shows that TN is my POA, then I want to make sure if I need to sign something that it is in the records as being legal. Sorry that I am still a little "cornfused" ( my Tennessee in me is coming out). Yes, I kept saying the Nashville RO, when I sent it all to Milwaukee. I will also call tomorrow and make sure they did not fax anything to Nashville and that it was faxed to Milwaukee. Celia

Berta, I do remember David signing a form at the TN VSO's office for VVA to be his POA. VVA never did one thing at all, so I changed it to TN. State Veteran Affairs. I do not remember signing anything on this, but will ask them whenever they call me. I changed it after David passed away by phone. The VSO said that he could change it there. Maybe since he was deceased I did not have to go in, I do not know. I did call Peggy girl and Peggy girl actually CALLED ME BACK! She said that the POA thing was showing that TN Veterans was the POA and could help me with anything.She said that the turn around time was about 4 months. She asked me if I filled out a 534 form. Well-duh- why would Milwaukee send me a letter if they did not have the form? OH yes, she then found it in my file. I am surprised anyone is able to get comp from VA. This same thing happened a while back for David's initial PTSD claim. They said that they never received the forms, but kept sending him letters along with the VCAA. I have a good idea-let's go fishing with our eyes blindfolded. We would have a better chance of catching fish than VA working "our" claims with their eyes open! Sorry, I was so upset and could not think straight. I am better now. Celia

Just a side note to my post and the LIGHT BULB may have come on! My representative on claims is the Tennessee Dept. of Veterans Affairs. They are so busy that they are sending veterans to our county VSO. My county VSO is the one who helped with filing out my DIC form, but I mailed it off myself with return receipt and a signature required. He only works three days a week. The State VSO has the authority to check on my account and they are basically, I guess MY POA. They are the ones sending everything to Nashville. I guess I was so upset, I forgot about TN being my POA. Could it be that maybe when Nashville saw my claim from my county VSO, they did not have the info for the State of Tennessee? I have never received a VCAA letter stating what they needed, so I thought ( and I know " I thought" ) that they had all of the information that they needed. Celia

I am so confused. David (Rockman passed away on 09/02/12 and I filed for my DIC on 10/26/12 & the Va Nashville received the claim on 11/02/12. A couple of weeks ago I received a letter stating that they were still processing my claim. I thought well- I should be awarded my long due DIC, but knew that I did have to deal with getting it in "VA's time frame"! So, now I will have more retro and that is a good thing. Now it comes to today. I called the State VSO for them to check on how it was going and he looked it up. He said that it had something about Power of Attorney and was he was not sure. He was going to fax over to then everything and then call them. He was going to have them simply walk it over to them & give it to them. He asked if I had called the 800#-WOW- I asked him politely if he had ever called the 800 Peggy girl. He confirmed that he had and knew what I meant. I told him that it was like calling the Social Security Office. He said that he would call me back. Do I need some oxygen while I keep holding my breath?? The only Power of Attorney that I can find is when I signed the VA 10-0137- VA Advance Directive Durable Power of Attorney for Health Care and Living Will. Am I totally hung out to dry?? I am so upset that I cannot see straight. If anyone can help-I would appreciate it so much! God Bless!! Celia