mrs rockman (widow of vet)

Yes, it eases my mind a bit knowing that I got a letter letting me know that they are at least still processing my claim. I knew I had filed a claim for my DIC, but the VCAA letter never really did enter my mind. So now if I get a VCAA letter, it will not be a surprise. I certainly hope you do not have to wait too long for your responses! The long wait times for ebenefits are really not much of a "benefit" to veterans or spouses keeping them on hold so long that they have to give up and hang up! There should be a better way to contact ebenefits and my emphasis is on the word "should". I cannot stress enough to widows or widowers to make sure all "your ducks are in a row" before mailing off your DIC application and this is just why I keep including it in my postings. Whatever you think that VA will need to review, approve, and process your claim.....sent them more and leave no doubt in their minds what is going on. I will post as soon as I hear more on my claim. I hope 2013 is a good year for you! Celia

I did get a letter from VA in Milwaukee today stating that they are still processing my application for DIC and I will be notified when when it is completed. At least I know they received it. Mr. Rockman

I filed for my DIC the end of October of this year and Milwaukee received it on 11/02/12. Rockman passed away on 09/02/12, but I waited until I had everything that I thought that they might need. When I called this past week, they said that it could be four months from the date they received the claim. My county VSO had asked me how I was situated money wise when he filed for the DIC. He said that it can take 4 months or so to receive anything. I figure that the longer they hold off, the greater my retro check will be. I do not know if this is the normal minimal time frame all over or not. I do know that it does take time even with everything correctly sent in. I am sure others will chime in. Celia, Mrs. Rockman

Warren, you know, there is no such thing as a stupid question. If there were, I would have many many stupid questions attached to my name. Rockman's VA doc told him that he needed to turn in his drivers license and use it only for identification purposes only. He really did not care for that idea, but I think deep down inside he knew it was the best thing to do to keep us safe. That does not mean he liked it. I just kept telling him after 28+ years, he could sit back and relax and let me do the driving now. This way he could read if he wanted to and not worry about concentrating on the road. You just have to do what is best for your family to remain safe. Just relax and enjoy riding with your wife! God Bless you too! Celia, Mrs. Rockman

Berta, your posting was so heartfelt and you do know what I am going through now. If you have never been in our place,you can empathize with a person and be very sincere about it, but you cannot know what that person is actually going through. When you are going through the grieving process, your feelings are all over the place and you never know what will spark a memory and you just end up stopping where you are and just start crying. Your emotions are everywhere. Berta, when I see what you yourself have gone through in your life, it gives me inspiration that I can also persevere and make it through all of the rough times. David knew he did not have much time and told me over and over all day that he loved me. He would say that he wanted me to know he loved me, no matter what. He wanted to make sure that when he left his world, I would know he loved me. When I think of this, that was such a beautiful thing to do. He also wanted me to be able to carry on long after and not to give up. I know that it seems impossible right now, but I will make it through this dark time for Rockman and for myself. I do hope with all sincerity that my postings are not in any way bringing up painful memories for you, for this is not my intention. Posting has some sort of therapeutic effect and maybe it is just that you are putting it down in print how you are feeling at the time. It kind of helps release some of your pinned up feelings and frustrations too. "My grief was compounded by overwhelming anger ." I had also forgotten how very angry I was with the VA and how much I wanted to go after them with every bit of energy I had and even more!! When we found out in 2010 that VA knew Rockman had Interstitial lung disease at least as of 04/29/05 at his Agent Orange Registry Exam , we were both furious!! We also had very good private insurance at the time and could have gotten plenty of care. Va only sent him page 1 & page 2 for the summary of the AO Exam. Page 3 contained the interstitial lung disease diagnosis and was discovered when we began printing up his progress notes etc. LESSON #1- You need to routinely go to the ROI Office and have them print up your medical notes etc. If you do print them about every other exam or about every 3 times, you should be able to sit and wait on them in the ROI Office. They may make you come back in an hour or so. If you wait until you have too much to print, then they have to mail them to you. This can take sometimes several several weeks. IT IS TRULY AMAZING WHAT USEFUL INFORMATION YOU FIND OUT READING YOUR OWN RECORDS!! GET COPIES ! GET COPIES! GET COPIES! PROTECT YOURSELF! "Someone said when you are grief stricken and feel empty, you must give away what you do not have,to become full again." This is such good advice and thank you for sharing it. It may be awhile before I can get to that point, but I will one day. I still attend the family support group with the Vet Center weekly and it is such a blessing! I am determined to learn as much as I can concerning PTSD. The guys there have been terrific and always checking on me and are truly concerned about my well being. BERTA-GUESS WHAT... I forgot to mention this at the top of my posting! I decided to call the 800 idiots this morning and was only on hold about 5 minutes and did talk to a "LIVE PERSON"!! She said that it would be about 4 months from Nov, 2nd(when they received the DIC packet) before I may get anything. She said that Milwaukee knew he was 100% P&T at the time of death. My county VSO was worried that they may not have been aware of this and it could hold things up. Just in case, we sent in a copy of the P&T award letter with all of the other DIC info. Also I went on to eBenefits and looked up the A&A claim that they denied on 08/13/12 and it shows what they did not receive. This was never there before and now it suddenly appears. I guess more research, but will address it later. Once again, I ended up posting more than I thought that I would . Thank you for listening. God Bless! Celia, Mrs. Rockman (for I will always be Mrs. Rockman!).

Papa, What a FANTASTIC Christmas Gift for this year and New Years also!! Congratulations on your win and it shows why you should never ever give up!! Enjoy your well deserved award and take care of yourself! Thank you for your service, Papa!! Mrs. Rockman

Rockman's VA PCP is the one that requested and put in for a HISA Grant. Va sent us the packet and we were to get three estimates for our bathroom conversion. We were going to have our shower converted to a shower with wheelchair access. We were in the process of getting the three contractors. We were picking ones that we would feel comfortable and confident about their work, just in case that we would not have a say so in the final one picked for the job. I wish I could give more advice on the work, but unfortunately Rockman passed away before we could get the work started. You can always measure your hallways as well as your entryways in case they could use your measurements. This is if you do not want to apply for the grant. Like said before, it is a one time grant. Va has several wheelchairs and also scooters to choose from. Once VA selected Rockman's electric chair, they took him on a ride thru VA to make sure he knew how to drive it. They were extremely patient with him. Let us know how things are going for you. Mrs. Rockman

Berta, I also tried to call the 800 # idiots and all I got was that they were busy and to call back later on. "The 'state guy '(I had to edit what I first called him here) seems to have DIC completely confused with regular SC compensation claims." I also called him by a few "choice" words myself, but I will not use any of them in my posting, but each and every one of them suited him very well!!! My county VSO said that I should have received a packet in the mail stating what benefits that I was eligible for. Since Rockman was not awarded the 100 P&T until March of 2012 ( and was retroactive from 09/29/11), he said that maybe Milwaukee was not aware that he was 100 P&T at the time of death. He likes to send in as much info that he can and then some.This way if they need something in particular, then they have it and do not have to ask for it. If they do not need something, then oh well, they have it anyway. When we mailed in the DIC, we included the award letter for the 100%, so that there would not be any questions. "The Nehmer regulations on EED for Agent Orange deaths under the 2010 AO regulations are diferent but I a assuming this is not a Nehmer death claim." Rockman did die from cardiac arrest and he was 100% service connected for his Agent Orange IHD at the time of death. It is also well documented on the death certificate. I waited to file for my DIC, because I wanted to have the death certificate sent in at the same time. I know you do not want to give the VA any reason to try and "stall" the process, but they can always find reasons to stall and deny a claim. I know it may be a long while before I get any payments, but still it is hard. You waited a long time yourself! "What gets me is VA intends to go entirely paperless but if their claims computers go down a lot what good is a paperless VA? And who knows how many medical records will get screwed up via their computers?" And the benefactor is;oh! let me guess, aye the VA itself! What a shame that they would not have any medical records to support your claim. Hey, they sorta do that right now. Sorry this is so long. Today has been such a horrible day that I just thought to myself- this is what it will be like for the rest of my life! It is not easy and I know that this will be the hardest thing that I will ever have to do. You just have to take each day one day at a time and sometimes it is hour by hour. On a similar note- Berta have you ever heard of the book "Widow to Widow" by Genevieve Davis Ginsburg? Our daughter knows someone who is also a widow who said that this book really helped her and it was a must read. If you have any suggestions for other books that may be helpful, just let me know if you do not mind. God Bless! Celia, Mrs. Rockman

I had no idea as to find out about how my DIC was going, if it was even going. I filed the end of October 2012 and it was received on 11/02/12. They received the application two months after Rockman passed away. The state veterans guy keeps calling me saying that he is returning my call- even though I have not called him. I went thru my county VSO to file the claim and I am so glad that I did. The only thing that the state people have was the form I filled out letting them be able to check on the status of my DIC. I will use the 800# when I want to check on things. It will be easier than leaving a call and getting it returned 3-4 weeks later. The state guy kept insisting that since the claim was not received until the November 2nd, I would miss out on November completely and the effective date would not begin until December. He would not even listen that since I filed within one year from death ( and actually it was two months), that it would go back to the date of death. He said that in his 5 years, he has never seen it paid like this. Maybe he has been hiding under some type of "rock". I was also told not to even expect any money to maybe May. What do widows do in the meantime?? Now you can see why I went with my local VSO and he is also a dear friend. Yes, spouses should be able to check the status of things just like the veteran could!! If I am confused about the DIC and the correct effective date, just jump in and tell me. Celia Mrs. Rockman

I agree. If you have any medical records at all for your heart, you need to take them with you. I would include records when you start having heart problems all the way up to the present. Say, if you have any echo reports etc., jut take them also. This way you have a starting point before going to the VA and they will be able to see your true and current condition. Celia Mrs. Rockman

john999, Your aunt didn't have the pension from the VA did she? It is good that she could use those expenses to be able to deduct from her total income, thus not having to pay Uncle Sam his unfair share. When you fill out the VA 21-534, that I guess is to let VA know if you would qualify for the death pension or now. You know if you qualify for that, but still fall under the qualification of getting the DIC, then you should be able to get both. I believe that they should be viewed as two entirely separate types of benefits. With drawing the VA, which is non-taxable and then drawing on David's SSDI, I still may not have to pay any taxes. I will be drawing from David's SSDI just as soon as things settle down. I went to the Social Security Office and they did a month by month print out on me and then one on David from now through when I would turn 66 to see what my income would be. Celia

Hello to all, I do want to apologize for being so "thick headed' when it comes to figuring out the whole DIC thing. I just could not make my ity bity brain to begin to function, thus making it very difficult for those who wanted to help me, help me! I thank you all for your patience with me. Yes, you were all right about DIC not being income based, but I did misunderstood my VSO when he needed the income part! Now, I see, this was just to check to see if I would qualify for the Death Pension, which I did not. I am glad that I did stick with my local VSO, for he is such a dear friend and I felt comfortable with him doing the paperwork. I stayed up until three this morning and had just about everything done to turn into him. Now, All I need to do is hurry up and wait and wait... I am so very very glad that I got this part done and I can now move on to other things. Again, I do want to say that I am truly sorry for me just not getting the message and understanding what you were trying to tell me!!!! God Bless you all and I am so thankful for this site. Without Hadit and the members, I would have not gotten this far. Celia Mrs. Rockman

Pete53, I hate to be ignorant, but when you fill out the 21-534 form for benefits, is this to see if you qualify for both the DIC and the Death Pension? Since the DIC is not income based, then it appears to me, the income information you list is to just see if you qualify for the death pension. I know my mother-in-law received the Death Pension, for her income was very little. Still lost in the south, Celia

I really did not think that net worth paid any part in this equation, but was just going by what someone said. I know, I know,"what someone said". You know I thought that the DIC was a benefit that I was entitled to since he died from a 100% service connected condition. Since David was drawing his SSDI and his VA disability, I was, and I was, going to wait until I turned 66. This way I would have received 100% of his disability. I have been to the Social Security office and they gave me a print out of what I would receive off of Rockman's VA month by month. I am looking at when I do want to start drawing his. Let me know if I am wrong, but I thought that a widow's death pension was only for if you made only a certain amount each year and then this yearly pension would be much less than the DIC. You cannot collect both,can you? The VSO may, and I use this tern loosely, may have been trying to talk about the Death Pension. Do I have this correct? I really do appreciate all of you helping me with this. This whole thing is beginning to "sink in" that I really an a widow and to be honest it stinks. I do have to go on and will honor Rockman in any way and every way can!! Now all I have to do is to be able to get his Vietnam medals for the service. God Bless you all! Celia

I will Amen to that one!! Celia

Now, if they would just go on and do it for all 50 states- that would be great! A little progress can go a long way now! Celia

Carlie, The only reason that I wanted to pay off the mortgage is that right now I am drawing 'ZERO" amount per month, not yet with DIC and not with Social Security. I just turned 62 in May. All I owe on the house is (after the payment that will come out tomorrow) will be only $15,950.00. The only other bill will be the car Rockman bought me last December. We have knocked almost half off of it. He wanted me to have a reliable car. If I pay the house off and some on the car, then I may be able to make it for several several months on the amount that I have tucked back( without relying on DIC), for I know it takes awhile to even get it. As of 09/29/11, David was 100% service connected for his heart. On his death certificate it has: a. Cardiac arrest-something something,I cannot read, and then /CHF b. Systolic Heart Failure c. Pulmonary Hypertension d. Severe Pulmonary Fibrosis Even though he died of a service connected disease, can they decide to not grant me the DIC if I have assets? These assets are what will keep me going until I die. The VSO guy said that they can decide not to grant me DIC and would want me to spend my money first. If you are considering a lifetime, my amounts are really not so great, if you divide them up into a yearly amounts. I wonder why he said that I would deduct the amount of the house to get the net worth? It does seem crazy! I hate to go on and on, but I have to make sure I have all my i's dotted and t's crossed. After all we are dealing with the US Government and then you add the mighty VA onto it, and there you have it! Any additional help you can give me will be very much appreciated. I have found more medical bills and tomorrow I will get the total from our chiropractor that David went to every other week. God Bless and have a good night (or actually it is already morning!). Celia

I understand that you have to list all monies in cash, bank accounts,CD's, retirement plans, stocks, bonds etc. Then this is what we can deduct to get the net worth: I was told that I needed to get the following: Itemize a list of both of our medical expenses from 09/29/11 (date Rockman was considered 100% P&T) to one year from that date. Health Insurance premiums Also the VSO said that they would deduct the amount that our house was appraised at. This does not seem to be correct. On page 5 of the 21-534, it has this: "VA cannot pay you pension if your net worth is sizeable. Net worth is the market value of all interest and rights you have in any kind of property less any mortgages or other claims against your property. However, net worth does not include the house you live in or a reasonable area of land it sits on. I am so confused. It looks like at one place I list my house ( value or mortgage balance) and then it looks like that my house should not be included. I AM SO CONFUSED. I was thinking about transferring the money to pay off what little mortgage I have, so I could "exist" some. I am afraid that if I pay it off, it may hurt the bottom line as far as net worth is concerned. Can anyone give me some advice. I am having a hard time concentrating, but I do want to get it done correctly, so VA does not mess me over!! Celia Mrs. Rockman

ATVer- What wonderful news and I wish it had not taken so long to get it. The best thing is, you did get awarded and now you can breathe a little easier!! Take care and enjoy the 'fruits of your labor"- You earned it!!! Staying in treatment will also make your life so much easier. Celia Mrs. Rockman