mickey138

thanks that was helpful.

I will try and explain some and hopefully answer some questions at the same time. When I joined the Navy when the recruiter asks if you had ever smoked dope I was maybe a little to honest. I said yes and that I had been admitted into a drug rehab at the age of 16. In order to get in I had to have a number of waivers reviewed and I had written statements about being treated for addiction. I also had made a statements that I was clean and sober at the time. I was not diagnosed at the time as having any form of mental illness and part of my induction process was to see a shrink about my stability. I passed with flying colors. My current therapist and a screener at the VA both agree that I most likely had most of the symptoms of ptsd at a young age. I had the typical abuseive and neglect environments, substance abuse, and I had problems with the law and authority in general. They are both calling it cptsd. C standing for chronic or complex. With it comes some amnesia from being disassociated for many years I have a hard time recalling specific trauma. It seems based on life style and environments the list of trauma is to long to pin point. I had gotten out of boot camp and began drinking right away. I continued through "A" school getting into legal trouble that was basically ended with all charges dropped. When I did report to my first ship I had a letter reach my new command that I was not meeting my finacial obligations and was addressed at a dept. level. It did create enough attention that the drug and alcohol counsler on board found out I had been enlisted with a record of drug abuse. I was order to attend AA meetings ( This is in my service record) which I did and maintained sobriety for almost 2 years. I was transfered to a second ship were I fell off the wagon shortly after being on board. I was a good sailor never any bad evals and no documented trouble such as capitians mast. Yes I got in alot of trouble but mostly settled in dept. and not documented. I did get a honorable discharge. After almost 16 years after the military I have a good amount of time sober. I do have a long record post military of unmanageability in all aspects of my life. What caused me to fall off the wagon. I can not point at one specific thing. Somethings that my current therapist have discussed that I am unsure if they link. The lack of stable environments. Prior to the military I never lived anywhere longer than 2 years. I have always been a little agrophobic. I have always had problems with dealing with anyone that in my eyes shows what I consider dominent behavior towards me. I have begun to wonder if the military, unlike my civilian life gave me no oppourtunity to find a way to retaliate so I used numbing to control those feelings. Physical threats real or not create high levels of anxiety for me. I was not widly accepted I dont feel on my last command as a result of my substance abuse, uncontrolled frustration and with drawn personality. I have repeated nightmares of drowning. In some ways this all sounds cheesy in my eyes to connect and very weak in trying to connect it. It does perhaps make it in the eyes of a child, but hard when viewed as a adult. Iam not after money just treatment. My current therapist has encouraged the VA idea as a best oppourtunity for me since the VA does so much in the ptsd areas. The problem is being able to get attention when you have no service connection and make to much money. I think I could benefit if I can get in but the aggravation of dealing with all this is to much and just unsure if its worth pursuing. Thanks in advance and I apologize for being so wordy

I am currently being treated for ptsd outside of the V.A. My current therapist feels the V.A. would be better at treating me. I went to a screening at the V.A. without any doubt the screener stated yes I have ptsd and he lined out a large list of benefits I can use for treatment. I went to start making appointments and was told I was being denied treatment because I make to much money and have no service connection. It is my therapist and the screeners opinion the ptsd was prior to military service. I agree. I have a extensive background of drug abuse and child abuse. In the military I saw no combat. I am being set up for a c&p exam. What I am currently struggling with is how I can connect at all to my time in service. I understand I will need to show that my condition was exasperated by my time in. My concern is will the examiner choose to direct questions that way. Do I need to direct conversation into a specifc direction and point out how it was exasperated. Prior to joining The military I had been to a drug rehab and was sober. That is documented in my service record. It was also documented that I had fallen off the wagon while in the military is that a example of exasperation. I guess what I am looking for is what exaxtly do I need to do or look for in making a service connection . If I cant fine. If I cant fine. I just want to get treatment at the V.A. or elsewhere.