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About aza

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    E-2 Recruit
  • Birthday 12/02/1952

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  • Service Connected Disability
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  1. I Finally Got 100% Now Everyone Hates Me!

    I just got my 100% rating, too! (High 5!) After telling the person closest to me, I fortunately figured out quickly not to talk about the amount and extra perks, (property tax, fishing license, Nat'l Parks, commissary, etc). I just say that I'll get a monthly check and some healthcare at the VA... What I'm guessing happens with the haters is: the economy is bad, politicians are bigger douches than ever, people are struggling, and the ones who do have jobs are working their butts off, some in jobs they hate with shit benefits if they get any at all, and paying Taxes... and as far as they are concerned, those taxes (their money) are being taken away from them and going into my pocket for me to sit around on my ass and live the good life ... so, big-time Resentment.. Talking about my recent good fortune may feel to them like rubbing their face in it.. not entirely rational, but that's how humans are.. They aren't going to care that my life was destroyed and I've suffered with PTSD and chronic pain for 40 years while trying hard to make it on my own, not taking handouts, lost jobs, broken relationships, homelessness, before I went to the VA 4 years ago... I'm just some old fart who signed up during an unpopular war long ago that the young people don't even know much about.. If they could walk in my boots, they'd get it, but they can't.. even the people who've known me a long time... I just got too old, too tired, to fight anymore and when help was offered, I accepted.... I consider it a gift and I'm grateful. So we can just celebrate quietly here... champaigne, anyone? BTW- does anyone know which letter we're supposed to show to get DMV, property tax, National Park pass, etc.? I have an AB8, but it shows the amount I'm awarded on it, and I'm not all that comfortable with that... Is there another one that just says certified 100% Disabled Veteran, or is that the one I need?
  2. I've been going to an EFT counselor and it is the first thing that is helping in the last 35 years. And it's something you learn to do for yourself, so you always have it and don't have to keep going to someone. There is a video around called "6 days at the VA" that demonstrates it or another one is Operation: Emotional Freedom. What I liked about the Operation: Emotional Freedom is that they work with the spouses and kids, too, who are traumatized themselves by the veteran's PTSD stuff. Living with us vets with PTSD deserves a medal... EFT looks stupid and airy-fairy, but actually works. You can feel dumb doing it and it still works. The medical establishment is finally beginning to realize that PTSD is not so much a mental illness, but more of a Central Nervous System Disorder, and needs to be treated as such. There is a physical change in the brain when exposed to overwhelming events. (Peter Levine or Babette Rothchild's work) Talk and drugs don't work. Most psychiatrists can be replaced with a pharmacist. The drug companies are heavily involved in med schools, so doctors are indoctrinated to look to medication for solutions. Drugs mask or blunt the symptoms and have their use temporarily, but they don't deal with the source, which is the CNS's dysfunctional response to external/internal stimuli. Over the years I've talked to all kinds of doctors, PhDs, MA's, many modalities of therapy, and taken all kinds of psych meds since 1975 and I'm still f**ked up and having nightmares, hypervigilant, anger, anxiety, etc. EFT is starting to change all that. I can still remember events, but they don't have the charge on them anymore. And it's not the "cruel & unusual punishment" that exposure therapy is (that put me the hospital with a suicide attempt after one session). It works like acupuncture does... "rewiring" the nervous system... getting the brain back in balance and responding properly... Anyway, my 2 cents... ~HM3aza
  3. Exam Coming Up

    I'm reading on this board and want to thank y'all for the information. I'm waiting to hear what happens next after I sent my papers in for a NOD. PTSD. (They denied my claim 3 months after I sent in the informal. I thought I had a year and wasn't able to get things together in the shorter time frame. Writing the stressor letter pushed me off the deep end pretty bad.) My VSO said the C&P is supposed to come next. I'm anxious about it. Being grilled by strangers sounds pretty intimidating... I'm reading that people get rated for various things at once? I'm not able to work anymore, but a lot of that is chronic pain that has gotten worse over the years. That pain I attribute to the PTSD due to the constant muscle tenseness from anxiety. Also headaches-migraines started in the Navy. Should I say anything about that, too? Or do you do one at a time? Like, get the PTSD rating done, then file for the physical stuff? Do I talk about everything or just try to stay focused on the PTSD symptoms? Also-- My counselor at the vet center that I have been seeing worked with me on writing a nexus letter. (She wanted me to be in on it since I tend to be paranoid.) Last week I saw her and she showed me the final letter- said she'd made a few changes, and sent it in. It was a mess. She had me as Mrs.,-I am single -had dates, location, MOS wrong, --basically, if I'd been allowed to edit it first, there would have a lot of red ink. She also didn't use the form they like: "It is my opinion that (it is more likely than not) that Ms. Jane Doe's (the condition) was incurred or aggravated during active service." My heart sank when I saw what she'd done. What was the point of doing it with me the first time if she was just going to do that? I wish she'd shown me the revised version before sending it, but that can't be helped now. How much damage can that cause? ~aza