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Hey everyone. Ive been in the army for 5 years and im getting out in 197 days exactly and im just down right terrified. I wana cry at night cause im scared but my body wont let me shed one tear. Im here partly to get help to understand what i should do to get va disability, personal stories and partly for emotional support. Im going to behavior health for suicidal ideation, depression and anxiety currently. Ive been speaking to my ex girlfriend shes studying to be a shrink and she thinks i have paranoid schizophrenia and i was speaking to my mother the other day she said my sister has said for the last 4 years that she thought i have it as well, they both have never met in their life. However i did abuse cough syrup a few times. And im afraid they might blame the schizophrenia on that. But i was seeing behavior health before that even. Military found out. Never got introuble for it. Dark history in my life, but i have overcome that thanks to my asap class. Thank you God. I just got a psychiatric evaluation done, but im still waiting on the tests to come back to know whats really happening i dont even know who i am and worst of all for service connection, i have no clue at all what to make of this. I just had surgery for my shoulder impingement syndrome 2 weeks ago, they removed a bursa, did clavicular excision, and bicep tenesis. And ive healed well but still have a limited range of motion. (That much is all i know of va disability) I was told i have occipital nuralgia which causes me not only to have emence neck pain but to have incredible migranges daily i just walk around the motorpool acting like im busy but the pain is so bad i massage my neck and scalp to ease the pain and take naproxen like crazy, and when im off work not only do i stay home for fear of social interaction, i stay to nurse my headaches. I drink caffeine to help it and take more pain medication. I have lower back problems that came out of no where. 4 years ago my chiropractor said its facet syndrome but i stopped going to him for the last few years cause it wasnt helping and i went to see my primary care provider again for it he said its para spinal myalgia. Gave me some muscle relaxers and said have a good day after I asked for a referal back to the chiropractor. He just blew me off i feel. But i have social anxiety im scared to be a bother..... And i know im just screwing myself over but i cant help how i am. And i have to schedule appointments for anything and hes always a month backed up. Idk what to do about anything ladies and gentleman. Im begging for your help here. Im bugging my family so much about my anxieties they are ignoring my phone calls even... I want 100% disability not because it gets me out of work. I LOVE WORKING. It makes me feel accomplished and like I deserve to live and breath Gods air. But mentally im not right in the head.... If you all ask i can even show you all a text i sent to my mother when i was having a really bad episode, and even that doesnt cover all of me. (You all dont know me so i feel a ok sharing this if it helps the advice i would be given.) i mean its 0308. My mind is just racing itself i cant sleep at all!! PLEASE HELP.