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Hey everyone. Ive been in the army for 5 years and im getting out in 197 days exactly and im just down right terrified. I wana cry at night cause im scared but my body wont let me shed one tear. Im here partly to get help to understand what i should do to get va disability, personal stories and partly for emotional support. Im going to behavior health for suicidal ideation, depression and anxiety currently. Ive been speaking to my ex girlfriend shes studying to be a shrink and she thinks i have paranoid schizophrenia and i was speaking to my mother the other day she said my sister has said for the last 4 years that she thought i have it as well, they both have never met in their life. However i did abuse cough syrup a few times. And im afraid they might blame the schizophrenia on that. But i was seeing behavior health before that even. Military found out. Never got introuble for it. Dark history in my life, but i have overcome that thanks to my asap class. Thank you God. I just got a psychiatric evaluation done, but im still waiting on the tests to come back to know whats really happening i dont even know who i am and worst of all for service connection, i have no clue at all what to make of this. I just had surgery for my shoulder impingement syndrome 2 weeks ago, they removed a bursa, did clavicular excision, and bicep tenesis. And ive healed well but still have a limited range of motion. (That much is all i know of va disability) I was told i have occipital nuralgia which causes me not only to have emence neck pain but to have incredible migranges daily i just walk around the motorpool acting like im busy but the pain is so bad i massage my neck and scalp to ease the pain and take naproxen like crazy, and when im off work not only do i stay home for fear of social interaction, i stay to nurse my headaches. I drink caffeine to help it and take more pain medication. I have lower back problems that came out of no where. 4 years ago my chiropractor said its facet syndrome but i stopped going to him for the last few years cause it wasnt helping and i went to see my primary care provider again for it he said its para spinal myalgia. Gave me some muscle relaxers and said have a good day after I asked for a referal back to the chiropractor. He just blew me off i feel. But i have social anxiety im scared to be a bother..... And i know im just screwing myself over but i cant help how i am. And i have to schedule appointments for anything and hes always a month backed up. Idk what to do about anything ladies and gentleman. Im begging for your help here. Im bugging my family so much about my anxieties they are ignoring my phone calls even... I want 100% disability not because it gets me out of work. I LOVE WORKING. It makes me feel accomplished and like I deserve to live and breath Gods air. But mentally im not right in the head.... If you all ask i can even show you all a text i sent to my mother when i was having a really bad episode, and even that doesnt cover all of me. (You all dont know me so i feel a ok sharing this if it helps the advice i would be given.) i mean its 0308. My mind is just racing itself i cant sleep at all!! PLEASE HELP.

Question...As of this week, I am 90% (87.7528) service connected through the VA for PTSD at 70%, migraines 30%, neck 20%, TBI 10%, left cervical spylondosis 10%, right cervical spylondosis 10%. I am now a reservist living in Shreveport, LA and I have a seperate package for the military that has been sent to Providence, Rhode Island and is in the gathering evidence phase. It was originally submitted only for PTSD but they have seen fit to include seizure disorder to the claims for me.These are two seperate things; one for the military and one for the VA. I never included seizure disorder in my claim for the VA. I had epilepsy when I was little but had long since outgrown it before entering the military and no, I did not disclose this to them.I only have 13 years with the military as a reservist and served two years in Iraq where I had an accident that injured my head and about three months later, I started having seizures again. I've been on 1000mg of Keoora and taking Topamax for the last four years and under a neurologist care ( all through the VA ) so all the medical evidence is there, I just never told the military. I went in September for a MEDBOARD review to Florida and between the PTSD and seizures, the military will not be retaining my services. I am in the process of early retirement at 50 % of my pay from my my job of 22 years because I just can't hang in there anymore...it's too much. My question is, on the military side of my claim in the gathering evidence phase they stated that "We need evidence showing that the following condition(s) existed from military service to the present time" referring to my seizure disorder. What do I do? Everything is documented in my service records and VA records and I was taking no medication until I sought treatment at the VA four months after returning from Iraq. It is well documented in my records that I have about 1 seizure every three weeks to a month but it is considered under controll and my doctors don't want to jack around with my medication. My idea is to just let it ride and see what happens but I would like some advice from the experts. Thank you.