ptsd Spouse's Statement

[SouthernBelle]

Okay, I'm new here, and I have perused this site for hours trying to find an example of a "Spouse's Statement" I am preparing to write a statement to add to my husband's request for increase in disability rating (PTSD w/ Anxiety, currently clinically depressed) and for the life of me, I cannot decide how I should approach this. I'm a freelance journalist, and I am so accustomed to writing with from an unbiased stance that I cannot make my brain do this without some kind of prompt. Any help would be greatly appreciated. I have considered simply listing his symptoms and how they affect him, me and our child, but I'm just not sure. Thanks!

SouthernBelle

[yoggie2]

Okay, I'm new here, and I have perused this site for hours trying to find an example of a "Spouse's Statement" I am preparing to write a statement to add to my husband's request for increase in disability rating (PTSD w/ Anxiety, currently clinically depressed) and for the life of me, I cannot decide how I should approach this. I'm a freelance journalist, and I am so accustomed to writing with from an unbiased stance that I cannot make my brain do this without some kind of prompt. Any help would be greatly appreciated. I have considered simply listing his symptoms and how they affect him, me and our child, but I'm just not sure. Thanks!

SouthernBelle

I think I maybe the one Jbasser was referring to, I went to the VARO office and was told any thing handwritten statements has more weight that a typed copy, he said it makes it more personal, but you have a lot of good advice here. I agree about not letting your husband see the letter. I don't think I'd been ever ready to see what my wife wrote about me, I found it in a copy of it in a copy of my c-file and it killed me to know what I was putting her through and not knowing it hurts most of all and wish I'd never read it.........

[jbasser]

It would be more proactive in the eyes of the VA for it to be hand written and straight to the point.

Some folks at the VA will not read letters or info professionally typed. I know a member here whose CO letter was not even considered because of that exact same thing. It was redone by hand and now it is being looked at.

They will treat it as a lay statement. It will go into the file. If you were a medical professional, ie Nurse, Rad Tech, or a MD, It would help.

Good luck on your husbands claim.

J

[Pete53]

Belle:

Welcome to Hadit and thank you for supporting your spouse. Your letter in my opinion should also point out what he was like before he became ill and what your life is like now. Try to keep it to the point and have it notarized and attest to it as being truthful the VA likes that.

Good Luck with the claim and if he is not working be sure and apply for Social Security.

[Berta]

I wrote a lay statement many years ago in support of my husband's PTSD claim. He was 30% at the time.I think the DAV suggested that I do that.It wasnt easy to do.

First I attached copy of my VA Vet Center ID card and explained to the VA that I had been voted into a PTSD combat group at the Vet Center where I was a volunteer there.(it helps if you have any background that supports your ability to opine as a spouse. I also was a Psychology major in college and told the VA that.)

I said I felt that my established experience with PTSD veterans should give my statements some weight.

I pointed out some specific symptoms that Rod had that I witnessed.

I also supported his PTSD problems at his job with testimony from VA employees that had been given to the EEOC (he had filed an EEOC case against VA as employer)and attached the copies of the testimony-I also had gotten under the FOIA some very sensitive stuff under a case he had filed against a former employer (Rod was the first disabled person in NYS to file an ADA case and then to win it).

The former employer had a statement given to the USDOL that was awful.

Rod was always quick to say he was both an angel and a devil and could go into a rage- but the rage this statement described-

it seemed fabricated and Rod did not remember it al all-in any event they (USDOL)had this signed statement from another employee.

The employer of course was trying to get out of the ADA case.I attached the statement as further support that Rods PTSD was affecting him on the job.

The police were here twice or three times documented- due to Rods PTSD and also he had two hospitalizations for PTSD.

I had to confiscate and hide his weapons at a neighbors house for 2 years and the neighbor said he would give VA a signed statement if they needed that.

I had also given a similiar statement to the SSA.

Between you and me I dont really think the VA gave my statements any attention at all-but maybe the SSA did.

I didnt know it at the time but they had testimony from his ex wife in their files.(SSA) from the medical and psychiatric records from another VA.This same VAMC in NJ that told me they had no records at all on Rod.

I saw the stack at the SSA office. I was shocked at what was in it.It all supported my statements.

But Medical evidence is what really awards a higher PTSD rating.

A spouses statement doesnt hurt and might help.If it can help document facts.

My husband had extensive psychiatric documentation from VA doctors regarding his PTSD.It was catatrophic.

I hope I gave you an idea what they are looking for-and the VA might not even consider your statement.

My husband at 30%-was awarded 100 % SC PTSD P & T from both SSA and the VA.Three years after he died.

[JON]

I believe your statements (as you have been advised to present them below) are very critical. In all 4 of my claims, the VA (Idaho) cited my wife's letter AND letters from friends in their written decision. Good luck.

[vetswife]

I wrote a statement on behalf of my husband regarding our life together (we have been together 27 years) and the VA quoted the statement a number of times in their decision.

I would encourage you to write the statement, but DON'T hold back. Put into it everything that you remember during your marriage that has happened, and how it affected you.

I was lucky, because my husband was at the point in his therapy that he was, because I gave him my statement to read, and he finally understood how the PTSD had affected our married life and our children's life. If your husband is not at that point, DO NOT let him read your statement, as it could do more harm then good.

The VA takes into account the spouse's view, and as long as you are honest in your feelings and what has happened, it makes a BIG difference.

[SouthernBelle]

Wow... that is a lot to digest. My husband is very aware of how bad off he is. I guess I should just to a "day in the life of..." type statement, then? It is going to be very hard for me to put it all down on paper. I really appreciate your answers, and I'm sorry it took a day to get back, but I was in hospital last night. Long night, long day, but I really do appreciate your help!

[SouthernBelle]

Another question I have: If we live four hours from the VARO, can we just request his c-file by letter and correct any errors in it through the mail, or do we actually have to be present to obtain a copy?

[Stretch]

My X-wife wrote a letter for me. She had not seen me for over 30 years. What happened to me was etched in her mind. She had no problem with unloading.

In her letter she also said, that she believed that I was manic/depressive.

The VA pointed out in my SOC that my X, was not a medical doctor, to dismiss the letter.

At the BVA level it was accepted as evidence.

Point being leave the diagnosis to the doctors. Tell it like is.

[vetswife]

Wow... that is a lot to digest. My husband is very aware of how bad off he is. I guess I should just to a "day in the life of..." type statement, then? It is going to be very hard for me to put it all down on paper. I really appreciate your answers, and I'm sorry it took a day to get back, but I was in hospital last night. Long night, long day, but I really do appreciate your help!

If I can find the statment, I'll email it to you. DON'T just put a day in the life. I can give you the high points of mine. .

The fact that I walked on eggs during most of our married life, as I never knew what would set my husband off. The fact that my husband tried to shoot my cousin in a fight and I had to wrestle the gun away, the fact that my husband had considerable "road rage" and that I often had to keep him in the car, the fact that our son's are in counseling because of my husband's anger, the fact that my oldest son does not like to visit due to his problems, the fact that our house has to be dark . .ALL the time, that he spends a large amount of time in the garage or another closed place that he can be totally secure in, the fact that he has taught our son's to always be on the lookout. .never sit with your back to the door, always know where the exits are, always know where people are in the room. The fact that my husband would not see or allow to be seen pictures concerning Vietnam. . although he would watch WWII movies.

The fact that my husband sleeps with a gun, and always has to be sleeping nearest the door, the fact that he sleeps lightly and has to get up several times a night to check the doors, the fact that my husband does not go out . . at all. He will not go out to meet others, does not like to have crowds around him, etc.

Reach back into your memory, look at things that have happened in your marriage. This is not the time to hold back, but to let it all out, all the things that you do because of his condition. This does NOT mean that you add additional drama, but just report the facts. That's what they want.

[vetswife]

Another question I have: If we live four hours from the VARO, can we just request his c-file by letter and correct any errors in it through the mail, or do we actually have to be present to obtain a copy?

You can request his C-File but you will wait a LONG time. Just be aware of that, and DON'T request his C-File until the issue has been decided, it could delay the decision.

[tssnave]

SB,

Welcome to hadit.

Some time ago I printed a post from Betrayed, a hadit member w/ psych disabilities (I think he has PTSD but can't recall), regarding his wife and son writing sworn statements in support of his claim. His comments were written on 10/21/07 at 7:35am and given the way I view postings, are about mid way down this thread:

http://www.hadit.com/forums/index.php?show...c=12810&hl=

The reason I liked his posts (he also included some of the actual letters from his wife and son which may be helpful to you in your writing) is that he quoted his sources and court citations. I actually got the book, A Veteran's Survial Guide, he suggested by John D. Roche and found it to be a quick, easy, read that was much less expensive than the VBM (Veterans Benefits Manual) which I also learned about on hadit and recommend. Also, I like that he included court citations so if you get to a point where you have to file an appeal then you can quote the court cases.

Joesphine, a member here who won her claim after 44 years!! had several lay statements from a former servicewoman, her pastor, and I think family that were virtually ignored by the VARO but were quoted at the BVA level which someone else in this thread has had happen to them. The sad fact is that everything we do for our claims may wind up in an appeal at the BVA or court level so even if it's not weighed very heavily at this stage of the game it is important to cover the bases as early as possible.

As far as writing what goes on in your life married to a PTSD vet and how to best present that - and I am no PTSD expert and am just going on what I have read and what I understand of the process so please take this as the opinion it is - but the whole PTSD rating issue has been taken to court to try to get the VA to recognize that the DSM-IV should be the defining standard for PTSD and not the VA mental rating schedule which was done back in the 40s when PTSD was not even an acknowledged mental disorder. So, your husband may well have every symptom of the DSM-IV for PTSD but the VA is looking primarily at the rating schedule. Since that is the lens that the VA is looking through that is the lens that you need to look through to best help your husband. The fact that he has anxiety and depression is good (only) from the standpoint that symptoms of anxiety and depression line up with the rating schedule. In his request for increase you could quote Mauer and remind the VA that a veteran does not have to have all the symptoms to be awarded a particular rating.

That said, tell the truth, descibe his symptoms and how they impact his social and occupational ability and whenever possible, illustrated them primarily in accordance with the rating schedule and secondarily as the DSM describes PTSD.

Another great resource on the web is vawatchdog.org.

I hope this helps,

TS Snave

Edited June 30, 2008 by tssnave (see edit history)

[SouthernBelle]

SB,

Welcome to hadit.

Some time ago I printed a post from Betrayed, a hadit member w/ psych disabilities (I think he has PTSD but can't recall), regarding his wife and son writing sworn statements in support of his claim. His comments were written on 10/21/07 at 7:35am and given the way I view postings, are about mid way down this thread:

http://www.hadit.com/forums/index.php?show...c=12810&hl=

The reason I liked his posts (he also included some of the actual letters from his wife and son which may be helpful to you in your writing) is that he quoted his sources and court citations. I actually got the book, A Veteran's Survial Guide, he suggested by John D. Roche and found it to be a quick, easy, read that was much less expensive than the VBM (Veterans Benefits Manual) which I also learned about on hadit and recommend. Also, I like that he included court citations so if you get to a point where you have to file an appeal then you can quote the court cases.

Joesphine, a member here who won her claim after 44 years!! had several lay statements from a former servicewoman, her pastor, and I think family that were virtually ignored by the VARO but were quoted at the BVA level which someone else in this thread has had happen to them. The sad fact is that everything we do for our claims may wind up in an appeal at the BVA or court level so even if it's not weighed very heavily at this stage of the game it is important to cover the bases as early as possible.

As far as writing what goes on in your life married to a PTSD vet and how to best present that - and I am no PTSD expert and am just going on what I have read and what I understand of the process so please take this as the opinion it is - but the whole PTSD rating issue has been taken to court to try to get the VA to recognize that the DSM-IV should be the defining standard for PTSD and not the VA mental rating schedule which was done back in the 40s when PTSD was not even an acknowledged mental disorder. So, your husband may well have every symptom of the DSM-IV for PTSD but the VA is looking primarily at the rating schedule. Since that is the lens that the VA is looking through that is the lens that you need to look through to best help your husband. The fact that he has anxiety and depression is good (only) from the standpoint that symptoms of anxiety and depression line up with the rating schedule. In his request for increase you could quote Mauer and remind the VA that a veteran does not have to have all the symptoms to be awarded a particular rating.

That said, tell the truth, descibe his symptoms and how they impact his social and occupational ability and whenever possible, illustrated them primarily in accordance with the rating schedule and secondarily as the DSM describes PTSD.

Another great resource on the web is vawatchdog.org.

I hope this helps,

TS Snave

THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU! That is just what I needed to get started! I am on the ball now. I've already written two pages just since I read the other post. I guess I needed a little push to get me started.

[MRRRR5]

Hello SB and welcome aboard I want to say thank you for your spouse dedicated service and your support of your spouse.

You have been given some great advice here and I hope it helps you with your spouse claim. I just read the info Tssnave posted from Betrayed and that is some really great info.

[SouthernBelle]

Hello SB and welcome aboard I want to say thank you for your spouse dedicated service and your support of your spouse.

You have been given some great advice here and I hope it helps you with your spouse claim. I just read the info Tssnave posted from Betrayed and that is some really great info.

Thank you. The information was just the push I needed to get started. I started the statement and finished (albeit a few hours later) today. FIVE PAGES... this was very hard for me, but I had to do it.

[Josephine]

It is very difficult, but it must be done. Yes, Ts. is correct the

R. O ignored sworn letters by my pastor of 50 years,

a buddy letter, from a nurse with me at each duty station,

they ignored the letter by my husband and two daughters

and the icing on the cake, they chose to ignore a sworm letter by my

military treating physician.

When this case hit the BVA - actually twice, within three months of

each other.

The truth finally came out and I was granted benefits after 44 years

with retro pay.

I credit the members of this site for helping me to stay one step

ahead of the VA.

This was a victory for all of us.

You letter will be read, not sure which level, but the truth will

eventually come out.

Always,

Josephine

Betty

[SouthernBelle]

It is very difficult, but it must be done. Yes, Ts. is correct the

R. O ignored sworn letters by my pastor of 50 years,

a buddy letter, from a nurse with me at each duty station,

they ignored the letter by my husband and two daughters

and the icing on the cake, they chose to ignore a sworm letter by my

military treating physician.

When this case hit the BVA - actually twice, within three months of

each other.

The truth finally came out and I was granted benefits after 44 years

with retro pay.

I credit the members of this site for helping me to stay one step

ahead of the VA.

This was a victory for all of us.

You letter will be read, not sure which level, but the truth will

eventually come out.

Always,

Josephine

Betty

I am so sorry that you had to fight for so long. It really breaks my heart to hear about all this. What can I do as a "lay person" to make this better? I have been in contact with a congressman, and he agrees that there is a very large problem, but what can I DO? I want to change the way the VA handles people, systemwide. I have to admit that I have a classic "rescuer" personality... so that's why I want to save the world, but I really do want to make this situation better, and legislation is so devastatingly SLOW. I'm sorry to go on, but that's just the way I feel. I want to make the system better, and I am just at a loss for how to do that. I saw somewhere on here about going to D.C. in September, what's that for and about?

[cowgirl]

Aw, SouthernBelle, good luck and heres wishing you well. My husband wrote a letter for me and it was difficult for him, but it was accepted and listed on the SOC as being submitted. He used a early draft of mine as a guide, took a couple of days, wrote it and was a bit more quiet afterwards for bout a week. Empathetic? Sympathetic? Dont know. He is my best freind and Godsent! (Don't think I'd ever read his, mine was soul baring enough). Got the rating and new self insight too.

Hats off to you and your courage to support your loved one~!

cg

Edited July 1, 2008 by cowgirl (see edit history)

[Josephine]

I am so sorry that you had to fight for so long. It really breaks my heart to hear about all this. What can I do as a "lay person" to make this better? I have been in contact with a congressman, and he agrees that there is a very large problem, but what can I DO? I want to change the way the VA handles people, systemwide. I have to admit that I have a classic "rescuer" personality... so that's why I want to save the world, but I really do want to make this situation better, and legislation is so devastatingly SLOW. I'm sorry to go on, but that's just the way I feel. I want to make the system better, and I am just at a loss for how to do that. I saw somewhere on here about going to D.C. in September, what's that for and about?

SouthernBelle,

There are so many others out there just like me who do not have the

love of the friends on this site to pick them up when they are down

and to help them research the VA.

If we could let more veterans know of Hadit it would be a blessing.

Always and thanks,

Betty

[tssnave]

SB,

Here's my answer to your question of what you can do:

If you have a journalistic background and the time to use that talent to help veterans then write about your experience and send it to your local paper and any other media outlet to see if you can collaborate with them on a first person account of what it is like to try to help a disabled vet attempt to win his disability claim. PTSD, unfairly labeled Personality Disorders, mental health care in general are all hot topics in the news right now. Add your voice and your writing talent to the cause of letting the American public know what is going on at the VA in the hopes that a grassroots effort will help affect change at the VA.

The dichotomy of being a psych vet is that you are the person best able to explain your disability but often the least able to do so. I'm bipolar and much of the time I'm totally spun one way or the other (up or down - manic and barely lucid or depressed and barely functioning). Then's there's the murky middle when I do ok for short periods of time and that's when, previously, I would try to work on my claim and currently, you'll see me post on hadit (so if I disappear for weeks or months at a time when we're in the middle of a thread, please forgive my abrupt absence).

Tell everyone you can reach the who, what, why, when, and where of your story, of our stories. Until the American public at large understands and cares about the situation at the VA we will be slogging uphill with an 80 pound rucksack on our back on a seemingly endless forced road march working on a VA claim.

Thanks,

TS Snave