I Hate The Va! I Hate Them I Hate Them I Hate Them

[SouthernBelle]

So, I'm so mad I can't see straight right now. They denied the increase again. I can't believe it, I really just can't understand how a DOCTOR'S OPINION, the DOCTOR WHO TREATS MY HUSBAND TREATS HIM! can be ignored for a lower rating. RATERS ARE NOT DOCTORS! DAMN, I'm pissed. I am sitting here shaking I'm so mad.

Edited December 15, 2008 by SouthernBelle

[allan]

Hello Belle,

"What is the wait time at the BVA?"

I'm a couple of months into my 11 yr at the BVA. Five of it was dead time at the AMC.

The claim is not worth loosing the happiness & joy you have with your family. Don't let them steal it by pushing you over the edge.

Whenever you believe in your heart & mind that your claim is solid as a rock, expect the VA to deny, deny, deny for years and years. It will help keep you from getting angry. They're not worth it.

Marry Christmas to you & family

[gp747]

bell i was raving for about two months after i got lowballed " lowdowned"

i call it . doesnt do any good pull it together and hang in there. also i had to have a medical opinion from va psychologist

Edited December 16, 2008 by skunk

[Berta]

One other thing I need to mention- and am very reluctant to even get into this area-and hope no one takes offense-

mental disabilities change who we really are and who we really want to be-Rod had 100% PTSD and also sognoficant brain damage from strokes when this incident below happned.

"He has periods of unprovoked anger inwhich all he wants to do is fight or hurt someone (impaired impulse control such as unprovoked irritability with periods of violence)"; etc.............

I assume this was in the doctor's report?

Is there any documentation of this at all?

One of my husband's hospitalizations came after weeks of violence here at home.There are reasons for how these things happen and no one at the VA finds out-

He then exhibited violent behavior towards me right at the VA.

I gave the Director a choice -either hospitalize him or I would file a police report and name VA employees and neighbors and police who knew he was becoming so violent I feared for my life.

The police had been here twice and Rod turned it all around -blaming me.One State Trooper looked like he was only a few pounds more then me (125),came here alone, and I could tell he was relutanct to confront a 6 foot 4 enourmous combat vet who charmed him right out the door.

The VA refused to admit him even though employees had seen what had occurred during one violent incident.

I called my Congressman-things changed very fast and they admitted him.

My point here is that- if your husband has been abusive to you- this needs to be documented and this also shows how severe this mental disability is.

S Mag made a good point:

"Every little fact can sometimes be expounded on by the pros here on Hadit."

I missed the statement as to your husband's anger before-

You must let others know and tell the VA too.

And do all you can to not become a victim of it.

It used to bother me to see that VA would document my husband's violent outbursts never realizing how much pain and fear this was causing us here.I had been threatened not to tell the shrink who had asked me to come to many sessions.This can become a dance of abuse and we must refuse to become players in this.

Who is he threatening to hurt?

and what has VA done to help him control these outbursts?

and what documentation could you provide to VA to show this gross manifestation of his mental disability?

I hope no one here is offended by my post- and I also hope you are not victimized by his anger.

Rod did a lot better after the 21 day inhouse PTSD program where they did focus on anger issues.

He died 2 weeks after the program and I often wonder if this program -sooner than later-would have helped him stave off his death better.

[gdsnide]

Southern,

When all else fails contact a Lwayer

I'm sure someone on here can refer U to a good one.

GARY

[SouthernBelle]

I am going to try to respond to everyone in one post:

Berta: we have applied for SSDI for his PTSD, and are waiting to hear back. As far as the violent outbursts, I am one of two people who is capable of calming him, so he's never been violent with me, when he is about to become violent I send him outside, he beats the crap out of a tree, or his tractor, spends a few hours outside alone, then he comes back, if we are in public, I have to constantly watch him for the small signs that he is getting too agitated, when I see those subtle signs, we leave immediately, to prevent him going ballistic on a random stranger. One time when I wasn't with him at the VA in Charleston he banged on the pharmacy window and desk, screamed him head off, all because the lady behind the counter didn't acknowledge him fast enough. The security guy was about to tase him, but the supervisor of the pharmacy came up and kind of diffused the situation. That was just one of the more recent incidents. I promised him years ago that the only time I would ever have him hospitalized is if he got violent with me or our son, or became more suicidal than I could handle. If there ever is a time where I can't get through to him he knows he will be hospitalized. They acered him the last time they hospitalized him. He was literally in a rubber room for 60 days. He couldn't see the light, or smell fresh air, and those are things that he can't live without, even now.

SeattleShay, if his doctors were the problem, that would be the answer, but he has a great pdoc, who understands that this isn't just about my husband, it is about the whole family, his doctor has been one of the only people who has been really pushing the VA to grant him the 100%. He has even said that the VA is making him worse by putting more stress on him. He is a great doctor who truly understands PTSD and the effects on not only him, but his relationships. He gets the fact that most wives would have walked out years ago, but I hold on tight, because this is my family and I love them, thick and thin are words that come to mind.

[MikeR]

Sounds to me like your husband should be 100% no doubt about it. I hope on appeal they give him a fair shake.