ptsd C7p Done

[ruby]

Had C&P yesterday for PTSD/MST I think it went OK but who really knows the VA does what it wants too.

I was upset during the exam with other issues involving the VA system to the point I said I was losing hope that anything will change. She asked me if I wanted her to admit it to the hospital. I said no, I was hanging onto the rope and not a thread and no one could help me if I made my mind up to do anything, which I wasn't there yet but I see less hope then I did and I am afraid I am heading in the wrong direction.

The exam went well, she only asked about current symptoms and how my childhood was. Did I ever have a problem with drugs or the law. I haven't but I am thinking about it right now it would be good release to hurt someone or do drugs. Its not in my nature to do that but I want to.

[pacmanx1]

ruby

try not to be too hard on yourself. living with chronic conditions makes us a little off. Every body get pissed at people doing stupid stuff but just let it go and think OK VA the fight is on. Get pissed off how you are being treated and study the books (CFR 38 part 4) that is where you can begin to learn how to fight. On the out side just think people are stupid and walk away.

Pete992

[pamelab]

Had C&P yesterday for PTSD/MST I think it went OK but who really knows the VA does what it wants too.

I was upset during the exam with other issues involving the VA system to the point I said I was losing hope that anything will change. She asked me if I wanted her to admit it to the hospital. I said no, I was hanging onto the rope and not a thread and no one could help me if I made my mind up to do anything, which I wasn't there yet but I see less hope then I did and I am afraid I am heading in the wrong direction.

The exam went well, she only asked about current symptoms and how my childhood was. Did I ever have a problem with drugs or the law. I haven't but I am thinking about it right now it would be good release to hurt someone or do drugs. Its not in my nature to do that but I want to.

[pamelab]

hang in there kiddo. we all have days like that especially with the VA. Don't do any drugs or hurt yourself or any one else; trust me it doesn't hellp. There is light at the end of the tunnel. It is good that you told her that you were holding on to a rope not a thread. I like that, It shows you have strength to go on. Keep fighting. Soon you will be sharing a success story.

[LarryJ]

Ruby, that feeling you have, please don't turn it into anything other than just a feeling.

I'm going to go WAY out on a limb here, in the hopes of helping you.

When I was in my C&P for my MDD, the Psychiatrist asked me a lot about my upbringing, my family, etc.

I had a pretty screwed up childhood, but I know that there are others that had it just as screwy (my dad was a dope addict, my mother was bi-polar....etc.).

I was really up front with the examiner, even went so far as to tell him that I didn't really care what my "GAF" wound up being, that I just wanted help.

He was really up front with me. He told me that my GAF and his diagnosis was leading toward what would probably be a 55-60 GAF and a 50% disability.

Then he asked me if I had any more that I needed to discuss with him. By this time I was about to lose it, tears running down my cheeks, I was a mess.

He told me to just sit and relax..........then he asked me if I had ever seriously considered suicide and I told yes, that I had this particular bridge abutment that I passed everytime I left my house that would make a good, solid, way to end all my bullshit.

At that time, things changed REALLY fast as the Dalls VAMC, for me.

Thank G-d I DID tell him the truth.....I was at the end of my thread and I got the help that I needed.....out of a C&P that wound up lasting 2 1/2 hours and then a few days of instant follow-up!

[halos2]

Ruby,

I can attest to your feelings completely. You spill your guts after holding it in for years and there you sit still in limbo, waiting, wanting, wondering, questioning, and just numb. You are already hurting, so don't do anything that would be counterproductive to yourself now. You have to work hard to maintain any sanity and you don't need to be messing with drugs or with being violent either to youeself or another. You will hurt yourself further and cause further damage and stress thet you don't need.

Find someone to talk to to vent these feelings constructively. It is a long road to travel but you can always voice your concerns/problems here and will receive feedback from those who have been there/and some who have done that. Experience speaks volumes. Take care fellow vet. You are not ever alone here.

Had C&P yesterday for PTSD/MST I think it went OK but who really knows the VA does what it wants too.

I was upset during the exam with other issues involving the VA system to the point I said I was losing hope that anything will change. She asked me if I wanted her to admit it to the hospital. I said no, I was hanging onto the rope and not a thread and no one could help me if I made my mind up to do anything, which I wasn't there yet but I see less hope then I did and I am afraid I am heading in the wrong direction.

The exam went well, she only asked about current symptoms and how my childhood was. Did I ever have a problem with drugs or the law. I haven't but I am thinking about it right now it would be good release to hurt someone or do drugs. Its not in my nature to do that but I want to.