Jump to content
  • Latest Donations

  • Advertisemnt

  • 14 Questions about VA Disability Compensation Benefits Claims

    questions-001@3x.png

    When a Veteran starts considering whether or not to file a VA Disability Claim, there are a lot of questions that he or she tends to ask. Over the last 10 years, the following are the 14 most common basic questions I am asked about ...
    Continue Reading
     
  • Ads

  • Most Common VA Disabilities Claimed for Compensation:   

    tinnitus-005.pngptsd-005.pnglumbosacral-005.pngscars-005.pnglimitation-flexion-knee-005.pngdiabetes-005.pnglimitation-motion-ankle-005.pngparalysis-005.pngdegenerative-arthitis-spine-005.pngtbi-traumatic-brain-injury-005.png

  • Advertisemnt

  • Advertisemnt

  • Ads

  • Can a 100 percent Disabled Veteran Work and Earn an Income?

    employment 2.jpeg

    You’ve just been rated 100% disabled by the Veterans Affairs. After the excitement of finally having the rating you deserve wears off, you start asking questions. One of the first questions that you might ask is this: It’s a legitimate question – rare is the Veteran that finds themselves sitting on the couch eating bon-bons … Continue reading

Sponsored Ads

  • Searches Community Forums, Blog and more

  • Donation Box

    Please donate to support the community.
    We appreciate all donations!
  • Available Subscriptions

Guest Ryan

Losing The Fight With Ptsd?

Recommended Posts

Guest Ryan

I don't know where to turn from here. I am really starting to believe I am going to lose this war inside of me. I called to cancel an appointment for a doctor that I've only seen once, and was pretty fair even though I had some bad reactions to the new meds, but I just can't process the added paranoia of simply walking in the VA anymore. It's just too much.

I'm not intending to play oh woe is me. I really do prefer to fly under the radar with everyone, and everything, but I can see nothing but a grim outlook on my being able to get appropriate help, and to effectively cope with this.

I would describe myself as having arrived at the end of my rope, and wrapping a knot around my wrist because I am to the point of believing my ablility to hang on by myself can no longer be trusted. Then the question comes into focus: What am I hanging on for? Is this the devil whispering in my ear? If so the son of a bitch can be useful while he's here, and organize my med records from me pickin out the pages relevant to my last c&p exam. No free rides dammit.

I often wonder if I am where many have been in the fight, and since those who I am reffering to are gone, without the final chapter of their story being told, I can't help but question where that point of no return is, and If I'm just on the otherside of it. Everything in me says that I am, and it's only a matter of time.

I don't even care about being patriotic anymore, or being proud of serving honorably, I just want this all to go away, and never have to look back again. It's a nightmare that just doesn't end.

I catch myself fantasising about martial law be declared after some kind of event that causes major civil unrest, and pickin' off luters from my balcony with my kalashnikov. I know how to sieze thoughts and evaluate them to see if they are irrational or not, but when they are just so intensely intrusive, it's extremely hard to take them captive, and throw out. I know I dwell on them too long sometimes before I do this.

I had a chat with a doc, a little while back about using booze, and greens to put myself in a state of incoherance as a method of escape. I still continue to, and it seems that it's the only thing that keeps me from offing myself. He said that when I get pie eyed my emotional filters become pourous and will let in thoughts of suicide that I would normally take captive, and discard. I really am just the opposite. If I'm not flyin' high, (not talking about mania, just feeling the euphoric buzz that has become my friend) then I'm in a tailspin, and the trees begin getting bigger really fast.

Where do I go from here? I don't want to go back to the VA for treatment as many times in the past I've just walk out in an even more pissed off mood. I don't want it anymore.

Would like to find a private doc who doesn't have an agenda to progress in. Is there such a thing? :angry:

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Ad

Ryan,

See where your nearest Vet Center is located, you can access

therapy there.

As far as meds go, none of the Vet Centers I am familiar with

write RX's.

carlie

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Guest Ryan

I'd been to a vet center before in wyoming and wasn't too impressed. It was more like gossipy social hour than anything. But that was just one counselor, and since I've heard good things about them I might give em' a shot here in Denver.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

x

x

x

Have you filed a mental health claim yet? What are you service-connected for at 30%? ~Wings, still flapping ;-)

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Ryan:

Hang in there things will change and you can get better. Late summer is always a rough time for me. I don't know if its the heat or what but really a struggle sometimes.

Even if the Vet Center did not seem so hopt before give it anther chance.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now

  • Ads

  • Ad

  • Latest News
  • Our picks

    • SHOW YOUR SUPPORT: Ad Free Subscriptions to the Forum available
      Ad free subscriptions are available for the forum. Subscriptions give you the forums ad free and help support the forum and site. Monthly $5 Annually $50 https://community.hadit.com/subscriptions/

      Every bit helps - Thank you.

       
      • 0 replies
    • Choosing a VA Disability Attorney Means Learning What Questions to Ask
      Choosing a VA Disability Attorney Means Learning What Questions to Ask. Chris Attig - Veterans Law Blog 

      <br style="color:#000000; text-align:start">How to Hire an Attorney For Your VA Claim or Appeal Free Guidebook available on the Veterans Law Blog

      I got an email the other day from a Veteran.  It had 2 or 3 sentences about his claim, and then closed at the end: “Please call me. So-and-so told me you were the best and I want your help.”

      While I appreciate the compliments, I shudder a little at emails like this.  For 2 reasons.

      First, I get a lot of emails like this.  And while I diligently represent my clients – I often tell them we will pursue their claim until we have no more appeals or until we win – I am most assuredly not the best.

      There are a LOT of damn good VA Disability attorneys out there.  (Most, if not all, of the best are members of the National Organization of Veterans Advocates…read about one of them, here)

      Second, I don’t want Veterans to choose their attorney based on who their friend thought was the best.  I want Veterans to choose the VA Disability attorney who is BEST for their case.

      In some situations, that may be the Attig Law Firm.

      But it may also be be Hill and Ponton, or Chisholm-Kilpatrick, or Bergman Moore.  Or any one of the dozens of other attorneys who have made the representation of Veterans their professional life’s work.

      There are hundreds of attorneys that are out there representing Veterans, and I’m here to tell you that who is best for your friend’s case may not be the best for your case.

      How do you Find the Best VA Disability Attorney for your Claim?

      First, you have to answer the question: do you NEED an attorney?

      Some of you don’t...
      • 1 reply
    • VA Emergency Medical Care
      VA Emergency Medical Care
      • 3 replies
    • Veterans Appeals Improvement and Modernization Act
      Veterans Appeals Improvement and Modernization Act
      • 0 replies
    • Thanks Berta for your help. I did receive my 100% today for my IU claim on 6/20/2018. It only took 64 days to complete and it is p&t. Thanks for your words of wisdom. 
×

Important Information

{terms] and Guidelines