? For The Parents

[clw4514]

i joined a "mommy forum" some time ago. i enjoy talking about the kids and all that stuff but sometimes, those katty women get my goat! my anxiety gets so out of control i just start to cry! i didnt participate for almost 2 yrs cuz of that. seeing how im medicated now i thought i would give it another round. well, that was just stupid on my part.....my 10 yr old wants to try doing a pageant. her idea, not mine! i dont think she needs anyone to validate her beauty. but, as a good parent, u encourage ur kids to go their own way with ur guidance. so, i posed the question "how do u find legitimate pageants?" omg! u would have thought i was offering my child for sacrifice to the gods!!!! i got beat up verbally! that made me think, i have problems dealing with alot of parents. i just dont care for their condescending attitudes and like im beneath them bcuz i was a single parent for so long and a veteran. yes, a veteran. ive had them snarl their noses at me when it was mentioned.

do any of u have issues dealing with other parents specifically? if i know i have to deal with a group of parents, i immediately start with the anxiety/panick attacks. i dread the weekly gymnastics classes bcuz of this.

[purple]

Oh yes. I'm a single parent (have been for 14 years) and have a very hard time dealing with other parents and groups of parents. I don't do well in groups of people anyway, but with kids I'm forced into many social situations. I've broke down in front of other parents (that's embarassing) and I've gotten angry in front of other parents (also embarassing).

My youngest now is 17 and will be a senior this year so soon there will be no more dealing with parents...and I'm so looking forward to that!!!

[carlie]

clw,

2 years of not participating ......... wasn't long enough.

I don't think you need that group of judgemental jerks.

They have no idea concerning anything to do with veterans,

so F them ----- that means forget them !

carlie

[clw4514]

i agree with u both! im going to close my account on that forum after i give them a pc of my mind! not a big pc cuz i need what little i have left :P

purple - ive done the same thing. once at a pta meeting. man, that was horribly embarassing! i hate being in groups of people, too but like u sd, being a single parents calls for us to endure it sometimes.

[jbasser]

I have a 9 year old and I get it.

I usually let mommy deal with the issue of otherparents but sometimes I cant help but get involved.

There are usually some questions that arise when conversing with the other parents. What do I do?

I tell them I am retired and a stay at home dad, Then I get how old are you. I tell them.

I usually head them off at the pass with a comment like look at your Kid doing some activity.

I have had them look down on me also but when you realize it you have the upper hand.

You are a single parent. You get to spend all of your time with your gift.

If you are 100 percent or Iu then you also get to be a stay at home mom. The other folks usually cant do that. They have to go see the boss every day and worry about sending their kids to daycare or elsewhere to be looked after or shell out a couple of hundred per week to do so.

As being a Veteran, dont let them look down on you. That is a privledge to be called a veteran. Be proud that you are one.

Just remember this little tad of info.

It does not matter what others think of you for people are people. I dont care what anyone thinks of me. Believe it or not I think they are mostly jealous that you have the opportunities they dont have.

J

[clw4514]

u know, ur right, jbasser! they r jealous that we were able to do something they werent. a few months back, we were at gymnastics and my fiance came up to watch mollie with me. he is a coastie and was in uniform. a woman up there went on to snottily (i made that word up :P ) say her hubby was coastie reserve and how much she hated it. he had a family that he needed to take care of, she didnt have these kids alone and he needs to blah, blah, blah. i try to smooth the tension and ask rank, etc. she flat out told me she didnt care, didnt have a clue and didnt want to know. i was so irritated with her. i briefed her up one side and down the other and told her the usual u should be proud, etc. not to mention her husband didnt have the combat commitment the other 4 branches have. she steers clear of me now.

fortunately, im a full time student and get to be home for my child and soon to be step kids. since i just filed my claim, i havent got IU or anything yet but we can always hope.....

[LarryJ]

I do know where you are coming from.

When I was a kid, my Mother, may her name be remembered, she was deaf, and it was doubly hard for her to take part in PTA or Cub Scouts, but, she tried, very very hard. I'd have to make sure and be available to her when she was "interacting" with any of the other parents (I knew sign, so I was her ears and mouth). This kept me very much "in tune" with what the other parents were doing and I'd try to share this info with my Mother.

Here is something personal, but something that I always found as a reassurance when I was a kid.

You see, we did not speak English when I was a kid, at our home. We lived with my Grandparents. My Father was in the Corps and gone much of the time, and with my Mother's disability, they chose to live with herr parents, out on the "ranch", 20 miles from "town". We didn't have TV nor listen to the radio. We spoke Polish and/or Yiddish. And, I learned sign in Polish AND Hebrew. And, the family that lived on the ranch were from Mexico, the family that lived there and helped Grandpa and they had a bunch of kids, so I learned Spanish/Mexican.

Well, when I was 7 years old, I started grade school. I showed up the first day of school and the kids started making fun of me, 'cause I didn't speak English and the teacher I had, sat the kids down and told them this:

You know that Larry does not speak English, and you can make fun of him if you want to.

But, there is something that you should know.

He may not be able to speak English, but, he can make fun of you in Yiddish, Polish, Hebrew, Spanish AND Sign Language!

So, it is not very important, this English, to him, but he will learn it much faster than you kids have.

I think I've done a pretty good job, I guess. By the time I was in third grade, I was helping the teacher during spelling and English periods.

But, as you have said, crowds and gatherings of other parents was never one of my Moms strengths, but, she "persevered to persevere"! And, I've seen her cry because of her disability, many times. But, she kept on, for me.