I Am Filing For A&a And Need Advice

[red]

Berta, she had a major stroke 4 years ago, has not balance, broken 4 bones including her hip six months ago with falls. She has had tow heart by-passes, a heart attack, has high blood pressure. Does not start a conversation but can speak. Can not cook due to fire hazards, can not cut up certain foods due to danger of holding a knife, (could cut herself) and no strength to cut up meats. Can not walk with out help. Her short term memory is very poor. This is all in a report filled out by her rehab doc. Thanks for your help and if you have any more advise for me, it would be highly appreciated. Red

[red]

Also, no one can tell me how much the benefit is, the local va rep told me it was around $1400.00 a month which would all be applied to someone to sit with her and take good care of her while I get a chance to get out. Right now I am 7 days a week, 24 hours a day. It is getting to me a little, but I will always take care of her, even without help. Red

[Pete53]

Red:

I think that you should talk to a VA Social Worker. You have one just probably don't know who they are. Call your primary clinic and ask who is you Social Worker and talk to them

[Berta]

I dont know how the rates work- I assume they are like the SMC "S" award rate they give to veterans who get A & A or Housebound-

The " S" award isnt much - Pete knows much more aboput spousal A & A or HB than I do-

and he is right to see a social wprker at the VAMC.

I hope this all works out for you.

My husband had a major stroke too.We had to fight for physical therapy as VA wanted him to stay in a chair-they told me he would never walk again and when I asked if they had told him this-the doc said NO NO dont tell him-it will make his PTSD worse (that was already 100% how much worse could it get? I knew him well and I told him-

sure he got upset and angry but this firec him up enough to help me get the physical therapy.

They said he could not come home here unless he could walk 3 steps.Our home could not accomodate the size of wheelchair he would need and we have a two tiered deck and no ramp could be built fast .

He walked from the VA ambulance to my car and my neighbotr said to call him -he would bring down his front end loader and get Rod up the slope - an elevation from our drive way to the house-

but he crawled up the slope himself, and taught himself how to walk more than 3 steps.

I know how diificult this is for you. The CVA magnified my husband's temper from PTSD.

He could not be left alone either.

The local VA had a Stroke club for stroke survivors and their families. It was excellent.

Also he was put into VA Day treatment- the Van would pick him up here and he was at the VAMC for 6 hours 2-3 days a week. This allowed me to continue the farming and livestock duties.

You need a good support system-they probably have stroke support systems on the net. Check with your local VA and your county offices too.

The VA stroke club was run by the wife of his shrink who did the barbequeing at a few picnics on the VA grounds we had every year.

The food was always fabulous but we had to leave early one year-we just had put away a lot of food.

His doctor asked why we were leaving so soon and I said Rod wanted to go home and eat.

Of course that got a big laugh-he had eaten 4 plates of food at the picnic.

These groups allowed both survivors of stroke and their families to see that none of us were alone.

We also had separate short meetings for the families as the stroke survivors got juice and snacks in the nursing home cafeteria under watchful eyes of VA nurses if they needed any help. As you know stroke has so many disabilities, it can cause blindness, and inability to communicate well among other things.

Then we would all join each other for the main meeting.

The family meetings were great as we could share the mixed emotions and problems we had as caretakers.

Caretakers are being recognized more by VA these days as in need of more help.

They did a study recently on the health of caretakers and found that we are often in excellent health in spite of often doing so much extra work that we did before our spouse had a stroke-

we do have to stay healthy for our spouses so maybe that is why caretakers can be so healthy.

I really dont know much other than the above regs as to what VA will do re: A & A etc-

but you need an outlet and support system yourself to vent to and to learn from to see this through.

Oddly enough stroke is more common in men then in women.

We had only one female vet and one civilian woman in the stroke survivors group.

As difficult as it can be to communicate sometimes with stroke victims- this group still had a lot of fun.We were all in a club no one wants to join.But it was a wonderful and helpful experience for all of us.