ptsd Would Any Of This Help Me Qualify For Ptsd?

[Guest swells1]

What I would like to know is would any of this help qualify me for PTSD and Sleep Apnea? (I was just diagnosed with Sleep apnea and will be given a CPAP within the week) Also would it help me in any other way with my VA disability? If so, how? How can I prove tinnitus with no records? Sometimes the ringing is so loud it wakes me from a dead sleep. Following being in a tent that was within 100 yards of the Marine Corps Barracks in Beirut Lebanon when it was blown up by a suicide bomber in 1983. I was one of the 6 medics on scene when all of our medical officers except for one dentist and the rest of the medics were killed in the bombing. I was close enough that when the bomb went off, I was thrown approximately 40 feet and when I stood up I was totally deaf for 2 days. For the first 16 or so hours I first worked in a triage station patching up the approximately 60 majorly injured Marines & Sailors using new t-shirts and underwear from our px store for make due bandages since our medical supplies were mostly blown up in the bombing. Then getting the wounded troops prepped and packaged to go to the ships. When the seriously injured were all triaged to the ships for further care, for the next 72 or some odd hours straight, I was assigned to the body & body part search, identify, and recovery mission for the 241 Marines, Soldiers, & Sailors actually killed in the explosion. Needless to say we did not keep any medical records on ourselves and could hardly keep records on our patients. (everything was blown up) So I do not have any records of what little medical care I received post bombing. After all of this stress, we were told that our relief (the ones that were to come to replace us in Beirut) attacked Grenada and would not be coming to relieve us at all. At that moment something inside me snapped and I have never been the same again. I closed off to everyone and avoided any telling me they were there to help me, except for anyone who said something about going home. I am rarely not agitated, I can't sleep more than a couple of hours a night, I freak out at the sound of gun fire or explosions which is rough on me, since I work on Fort Hood and hear those sounds all the time, I don't make friends easily and don't keep them for long, I love my wife and daughter but it's very hard sometimes to show it, I'm in constant stress at work and blow up in a very unreasonable/untimely manner, and I am always tired. I am sometimes confused and I have a hard time remembering things I should. Sometimes I can't remember an employee's name even when they have worked for me for 5 or more years. I can't remember dates such as birthdays and anniversaries. It's very frustrating. I have never contemplated suicide or homocide. But I do sometimes wonder if the world would even notice if I was no longer around. My thoughts at these times is... Probably not...Just to give an approximation of the carnage we lived through, I removed this headline from the internet. At 06:20 am on Sunday 10/23/1983 a suicide bomber detonated a truck bomb directed at the Marine barracks that was equivalent to 5,400 kg (12,000 pounds) of TNT. In the attack on the American barracks, the death toll was 241 American servicemen: 220 Marines, 18 Navy personnel and three Army soldiers, along with sixty Americans injured, representing the deadliest single-day death toll for the United States Marine Corps since the Battle of Iwo Jima of World War II, the deadliest single-day death toll for the United States military since the first day of the Vietnam War's Tet Offensive, and the deadliest single attack on Americans overseas since World War II. For surviving this, I received a Navy Expeditionary Medal, a Combat Action Ribbon, a Navy Unit Commendation, and a trip home "not in a box". I also received a personal thank you letter from the Marine Amphibious Unit Commander (the only thing given that means anything to me). We never received any assistance on the way home or when we got back. Just a lot of speeches from wind bags about what heros we were and how proud they were of us. That and a lot of man up, walk it off, and you should be glad… at least you made it home speeches from the Marines assigned over us. Thank you in advance for any help swells1P.S. I can be reached at swells1@hot.rr.com